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In any situation you'll always have options, hell you can even make options for yourself.
Quote:
Originally Posted by CArizona
My Aunt always said that she married her (last) husband because he just wouldn't "go away." He "camped out" at her house every single day...In the end my Aunt got used to having him around but she never fully respected him. He was dependent on her for most everything. She was "big mama" and made all of the plans and decisions...He remained passive most of the time and didn't have much of a "self" of his own...I tried to take him aside so I'd have a chance to get to know him apart from her. I enjoyed hearing about his past and interests. But he seemed happy and content to take direction from my Aunt most of the time. This way he wouldn't have to bother making plans or decisions on his own.
Damn that's a sad story, I guess he didn't have any balls.
The only time I've felt clingy (in a negative way) is when the relationship just wasn't right, and I was picking up on that and therefore trying to hold on.
It was actually always a great "heads up" that the relationship probably just wasn't for me.
Yeah, that's something I need to work on. Every time I have that intuition that something is not right, instead of walking away like I should, I tend to hold on to it to either attempt to fix it or at least find out if there really is something wrong, and I end up getting burned in the end.
Location: On the "Left Coast", somewhere in "the Land of Fruits & Nuts"
8,852 posts, read 10,456,964 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SEAandATL
Yeah, that's something I need to work on. Every time I have that intuition that something is not right, instead of walking away like I should, I tend to hold on to it to either attempt to fix it or at least find out if there really is something wrong, and I end up getting burned in the end.
I can kinda relate to that, being the sort who thinks most "obstacles" are simply a matter of being "resourceful", "creative" or "persistent" enough, to just figure out a way to go over, under, around or "through" them! And yeah, actually that works.... though not always, when occasionally you learn to appreciate the old adage, that sometimes all you can do is just "cut your losses"!
My parents used to tell me: "Don't wear out your welcome!" Meaning don't "don't camp out at other people's homes and take up their time or get in their way when they have other things to do!"...This applies to non-stop phone calls or texts too...I'm not the center of everyone else's universe. I'm usually just a "bit player" in their lives. And I don't want to be viewed as a "pest" or burden or get in someone's "way."...Most people live busy lives. We're all "spread thin."...It takes time to establish a "full-blown" relationship with someone. I don't expect to move right up to the "front of the line" when I meet new people. I don't want to come on like "gangbusters" and expect and demand all of their time and attention right off the bat. This seems arrogant to me! How do you feel about it? Thanks!
Location: On the "Left Coast", somewhere in "the Land of Fruits & Nuts"
8,852 posts, read 10,456,964 times
Reputation: 6670
Whether the problem is too "clingy", "distant", "anxious", "reserved", "depressed", "insecure", whatever... seems like everyone has emotional needs of some sort or other. So rather than worrying about what's "ideal" or "too much" in a partner, maybe the real problem is finding someone we can candidly communicate with and who will work with us re: their feelings, just as maybe we'll work with them re: ours. 'Cuz lord knows, we all got "issues"!
clingy is a femine thing, unfortuneately, which is why it is easier for women
Men come on strong and are needy before getting women into bed and then the roles flip-flop and women become the clingy ones, especially if she doesn't know "where she stands".
Feeling insecure and clingy can be a symptom of having jumped into bed too soon with the wrong guy.
Men come on strong and are needy before getting women into bed and then the roles flip-flop and women become the clingy ones, especially if she doesn't know "where she stands".
Feeling insecure and clingy can be a symptom of having jumped into bed too soon with the wrong guy.
well being desperate hurts men way more than it hurts women, it's okay for a woman to need or want a boyfriend to validate her existence, but it is not okay for a man to need or want a girlfriend to validate his existence
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