Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
...
A confident man is also one that does not base his self worth or self esteem on whether or not another person loves him, and that shows over a period of time. Once a guy determines his value as a person is based exclusively on whether or not the woman he is with continues to love and want him, he loses more of himself that he could ever reasonably seek to get back in the event that she leaves him. And as a result, he will then lack confidence.
...
Everyone -- whether male or female -- has a built-in, innate *need* (and not just a mere desire or want) to be loved...whether by a parent, spouse, girlfriend, boyfriend, sibling, friend, etc., but especially by a romantic interest, I would wager. Take that need and throw it away 100%, and the human psyche suffers terribly, to the point of breaking entirely.
Sometimes there is a fine line, some girls/women have described me as cocky and over confident
Despite the paradox in terminology, IMO, having humility and a mild-mannered persona can in themselves be a form of "quiet" confidence. Not in the same manner of having "swagger" or being "c*cky" of course...but in the sense that a person is "confident" enough in his or her own skin and innate communicational abilities to not even need to be c*cky in the first place...
Despite the paradox in terminology, IMO, having humility and a mild-mannered persona can in themselves be a form of "quiet" confidence. Not in the same manner of having "swagger" or being "c*cky" of course...but in the sense that a person is "confident" enough in his or her own skin and innate communicational abilities to not even need to be c*cky in the first place...
But some women mistake over the top obnoxious swagger as confidence as opposed to the quiet dude whos confident in his own skin where the over the top person can be doing it to hide insecuriteis which i see a lot even with some friends..
But that shallow "confidence" is what a lot of women eat up even if its a facade
Nice guys and Doormats enjoy the women's company too.
A girl can like a guy but only as 'friends' which means Friend Zone.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Haley James
A confident man is a man who genuinely likes women and is comfortable in their presence. He's comfortable because he's enjoying the interaction for whatever it is, and not keeping score on some endgame. Sure there may be a sexual element in the mix, but if not that's okay too because he enjoys the company of women regardless. He is always at ease.
I have a friend like this who's male friends are always at a loss trying to figure out "why he's such a chick magnet?!" They ask him "why do the girls always like you??!! Why you!!??!!" They don't understand when he tells them "It's not that the girls like me it's that I like them!"
He is never at a loss for a date, or a girlfriend.
But some women mistake over the top obnoxious swagger as confidence as opposed to the quiet dude whos confident in his own skin where the over the top person can be doing it to hide insecuriteis which i see a lot even with some friends..
But that shallow "confidence" is what a lot of women eat up even if its a facade
True...you're right; I can't argue with the accuracy of your analysis above...
Even given that though, for me to intentionally come across as "c*cky" rather than "humble" or "easygoing" would be anathema for me and cause me to be rather shocked at myself, personality-wise anyway.
Everyone -- whether male or female -- has a built-in, innate *need* (and not just a mere desire or want) to be loved...whether by a parent, spouse, girlfriend, boyfriend, sibling, friend, etc., but especially by a romantic interest, I would wager. Take that need and throw it away 100%, and the human psyche suffers terribly, to the point of breaking entirely.
Welcome to my world. . .
As a matter of self preservation and evlolutionary growth in my journey called life, I conditioned myself a while back to throw it away 100%. There are consequences to doing that though, and I've had to live with them, but for me it came down to discarding and burying needs that at least within the parameters of a romantic relationship would never be met and my own existence. I came to find it to be a weakness, that prevented me from meeting my full potential as a man in this world, as it interfered with concrete and significant life goals, dreams and aspirations. I am able to fulfill the physical needs now, although emotionally, I prevent any and all link to another person that could be considered romantic. Broken entirely, no doubt.
As a matter of self preservation and evlolutionary growth in my journey called life, I conditioned myself a while back to throw it away 100%. There are consequences to doing that though, and I've had to live with them, but for me it came down to discarding and burying needs that at least within the parameters of a romantic relationship would never be met and my own existence. I came to find it to be a weakness, that prevented me from meeting my full potential as a man in this world, as it interfered with concrete and significant life goals, dreams and aspirations. I am able to fulfill the physical needs now, although emotionally, I prevent any and all link to another person that could be considered romantic. Broken entirely, no doubt.
Then you sir, are a stronger man than I -- because for me, to live a life entirely without love or being loved, is absolutely the most heartbreaking, empty, soulless void of nothingness and pit of despair that I can imagine. On the same level or worse even than being locked up in solitary confinement.
But some women mistake over the top obnoxious swagger as confidence as opposed to the quiet dude whos confident in his own skin where the over the top person can be doing it to hide insecuriteis which i see a lot even with some friends..
But that shallow "confidence" is what a lot of women eat up even if its a facade
You can hide your shyness and hide insecurities, it works. Whatever works and thats how you become confident.
Nice guys and Doormats enjoy the women's company too.
A girl can like a guy but only as 'friends' which means Friend Zone.
Nice guys and doormats don't actually enjoy a woman's company. They are running game in hopes of an end result not being themselves. They aren't being genuine, enjoying themselves, or the company they keep.
Confident men simply enjoy the company of women because they enjoy the company of women and are comfortable being themselves around them. Being themselves does not equate to being ANYONE'S doormat.
A man who is comfortable being himself while thoroughly enjoying everything about a woman's feminity; recognizing and appreciating it's differences while remaining true to his own masculinity draws women to him effortlessy because it feels GOOD to be in his presence.
Nice guys and doormats don't actually enjoy a woman's company. They are running game in hopes of an end result not being themselves. They aren't being genuine, enjoying themselves, or the company they keep.
Confident men simply enjoy the company of women because they enjoy the company of women and are comfortable being themselves around them. Being themselves does not equate to being ANYONE'S doormat.
A man who is comfortable being himself while thoroughly enjoying everything about a woman's feminity; recognizing and appreciating it's differences while remaining true to his own masculinity draws women to him effortlessy because it feels GOOD to be in his presence.
Um, I confused by this post and your previous one. So you're saying that a nice guy isn't actually a nice guy bc he is pretending? So does that mean that there aren't nice guys and if there are they don't get the girls?
I'm also confused about the part about liking women and appreciating the differences and appreciates being around women and bc of that women will be drawn to you and therefore, you as a woman feel GOOD being in such a man's presence. How does this work? It's sounds like a bunch of pyschobable to me. When you meet a man, can you sense the a vibe from the guy that he enjoys a woman's feminity, the differences, and all of that jazz? How can you tell such a thing without the guy actually coming out and saying that?
If all it took was for men to be comfortable with themselves, appreciating the differences and enjoying a woman's feminity, then there would so many men with multiple women that women would be complaining. There are men that enjoy the feminity of women, some too much, but I don't see how that makes a dude a chick magnet. That probably makes him more a puss hound which can be confused for being a chick magnet.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
