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Old 08-07-2011, 09:46 PM
 
11,629 posts, read 6,193,788 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ulysses61 View Post
The hypocrisy on this thread boggles the mind. No woman over 25 would look twice at a man who was living at home when he was 30. Be honest.

And I don't blame them.
Not really.
A friend of mine married a man who was at home until he was about 35. She had been living out of home since she was 18.

I lived at home until I was 27, within my culture this is not odd. If I met man now, (being over 30 myself) who was living at home, it might raise some alarm bells but I'd have to find out why he was before I jumped to conclusions.
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Old 08-07-2011, 09:49 PM
 
Location: Ohio
8,956 posts, read 4,141,032 times
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something I'm curios about is that it always seems as though it's the men being discussed. Surely there has to be many women who live with their parents as well. What do men think about women who "fail to launch??"

On another note, I don'tthink rushing to move out at 18 is a wise decision if you dont have to. So many in MY generation lack the maturity and responsibility that it takes. I really dont think anyone should consider leaving the nest until they are at least 20-23
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Old 08-07-2011, 10:13 PM
 
1,249 posts, read 1,076,862 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by WhipperSnapper 88 View Post
something I'm curios about is that it always seems as though it's the men being discussed. Surely there has to be many women who live with their parents as well. What do men think about women who "fail to launch??"

On another note, I don'tthink rushing to move out at 18 is a wise decision if you dont have to. So many in MY generation lack the maturity and responsibility that it takes. I really dont think anyone should consider leaving the nest until they are at least 20-23
As long as I do not have to support her, it is ok if she lives with or off of her parents.
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Old 08-07-2011, 10:48 PM
 
Location: Los Angeles area
9,323 posts, read 7,269,587 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by WhipperSnapper 88 View Post
something I'm curios about is that it always seems as though it's the men being discussed. Surely there has to be many women who live with their parents as well. What do men think about women who "fail to launch??"
I am 67 and divorced, so I won't be dating any women still living at home. But I think WhipperSnapper has a good point about the red flag being there in the case of women too. My 26-year-old niece still lives at home, works part time, and there are genuine issues with her continued dependence on her parents. I am not saying that her living at home per se proves there are issues; I am saying I know there are serious issues, life-long issues. Maybe with time the niece will eventually develop into an autonomous adult - everyone has his/her own timeline and they are all different. There have been some encouraging signs of progress. But if I were a guy her age I would see red flags.
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Old 08-08-2011, 12:54 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mikala43 View Post
Yes, but it would be strange bond. I think cpg referred to it as failure to launch and that is a good as term as any (poor movie if I recall though).

If I was to meet a man in his 30s or 40s who lived at home to save money I would have grave concerns that despite a superficially viable reason, there would be much deeper seated issues. And if there weren't to begin with, by then there would be.

I live in Hawaii
Well it does not have to be for a lifetime. He/she can always move out once financially established and then send money to parents and vice versa.

Would you go out with a guy who lives at home who is loaded with cash or someone on his own and hardly making his ends meet?
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Old 08-08-2011, 12:55 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by cpg35223 View Post
Exactly.

I mean, somebody in his 30s who is saying, "But I need to save more money..." is somebody who is just stalling with getting on with his life.
There are plenty of folks who are broke in their 40-50-60's and 70's. There are retired people who living paycheck to paycheck on social security.
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Old 08-08-2011, 01:00 AM
 
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So why not move out of Cali? I did and it was the best financial move ever. I heard excuses about missing the great weather.

In Texas, someone would do Ok with $8 an hour.

According to my other thread, people said they don't kick their kids out, they just leave.

Quote:
Originally Posted by suissegrl702 View Post
This economy and the cost of moving out have changed my opinion on this. The average studio around here is $875 right now. That's a huge chunk of change. Room rentals range from $400 to $900 a month, depending on the kind of house, or if its a condo/townhouse/apartment you'd be sharing.

I know of tons of people who, because of this economy have moved back in with Mom and Dad, including whole families, because of factors like job loss and just not being able to make ends meet. It is really hard to pay rent if the only job you can find pays $8 an hour, isn't really full time, comes with no benefits, and you live in an area where the rent alone is $875 for a STUDIO apartment. Even outside California it gets tough.

I lived with my parents for a long time, up until about 3 months ago, and wanted to move out much sooner. The economy hit me hard two years ago and delayed my staying away. I'm now struggling to stay out of their house.

Normally, it would be a tough call for me. Prior to the recession I knew of tons of people who lived independently of Mom and Dad who asked them for money all that time...how is that better than living with them and not really needing their assistance beyond staying in the house? I paid my own way for everything, fixed the car, paid the insurance, the whole nine yards...I just lived with Mom and Dad.

If a kid is living with Mom and Dad and has never worked, never has any aspirations of work or college, and is being a lazy mooch who contributes nothing, then yes, I have a problem with it. I don't think forcing the young into ridiculously expensive apartments with crappy jobs where when the first car problem hits they have to ask Mom and Dad for money or max out the credit card is advisable either.

Sometimes I am envious of Mexicans and Italians...they take care of their own. Too often with more traditional Americans its...you are 18, now get the hell out! And we don't care if you end up a bum!

You also won't see too many Mexican or Italian Americans running around in nursing homes, but plenty of the kick-the-kids-out-at-18 crowd throws Grandma in there happily when the time comes.
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Old 08-08-2011, 01:03 AM
 
12,673 posts, read 13,565,710 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by WhipperSnapper 88 View Post
There's a big difference between " living with your parents " and having your " parents live with you " though. Wouldn'tyou agree?
Yes there is but other folks will just think of the living with parents when you first tell them about the situation.
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Old 08-08-2011, 01:04 AM
 
12,673 posts, read 13,565,710 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ulysses61 View Post
The hypocrisy on this thread boggles the mind. No woman over 25 would look twice at a man who was living at home when he was 30. Be honest.

And I don't blame them.
Disagree. This is not true for South and East Asian girls. They know our culture and like that.
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Old 08-08-2011, 01:06 AM
 
591 posts, read 407,956 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mikala43 View Post
If they had a reasonable job, and still chose to live at home I think I would have issues.

Very few self respecting young adults don't want to be on their own, even with roommates.

Unless living at home had complete privacy separate entrance type of thing.

I say this and come from one of the most expensive living areas, with a strong Asian influence (families stay together across generations).
I can see it never entered your mind they might be living with a sick parent who needs their help. Please try to grow up.
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