Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Yes, but it would be strange bond. I think cpg referred to it as failure to launch and that is a good as term as any (poor movie if I recall though).
If I was to meet a man in his 30s or 40s who lived at home to save money I would have grave concerns that despite a superficially viable reason, there would be much deeper seated issues. And if there weren't to begin with, by then there would be.
I live in Hawaii
Exactly.
I mean, somebody in his 30s who is saying, "But I need to save more money..." is somebody who is just stalling with getting on with his life.
This economy and the cost of moving out have changed my opinion on this. The average studio around here is $875 right now. That's a huge chunk of change. Room rentals range from $400 to $900 a month, depending on the kind of house, or if its a condo/townhouse/apartment you'd be sharing.
I know of tons of people who, because of this economy have moved back in with Mom and Dad, including whole families, because of factors like job loss and just not being able to make ends meet. It is really hard to pay rent if the only job you can find pays $8 an hour, isn't really full time, comes with no benefits, and you live in an area where the rent alone is $875 for a STUDIO apartment. Even outside California it gets tough.
I lived with my parents for a long time, up until about 3 months ago, and wanted to move out much sooner. The economy hit me hard two years ago and delayed my staying away. I'm now struggling to stay out of their house.
Normally, it would be a tough call for me. Prior to the recession I knew of tons of people who lived independently of Mom and Dad who asked them for money all that time...how is that better than living with them and not really needing their assistance beyond staying in the house? I paid my own way for everything, fixed the car, paid the insurance, the whole nine yards...I just lived with Mom and Dad.
If a kid is living with Mom and Dad and has never worked, never has any aspirations of work or college, and is being a lazy mooch who contributes nothing, then yes, I have a problem with it. I don't think forcing the young into ridiculously expensive apartments with crappy jobs where when the first car problem hits they have to ask Mom and Dad for money or max out the credit card is advisable either.
Sometimes I am envious of Mexicans and Italians...they take care of their own. Too often with more traditional Americans its...you are 18, now get the hell out! And we don't care if you end up a bum!
You also won't see too many Mexican or Italian Americans running around in nursing homes, but plenty of the kick-the-kids-out-at-18 crowd throws Grandma in there happily when the time comes.
Sometimes I am envious of Mexicans and Italians...they take care of their own. Too often with more traditional Americans its...you are 18, now get the hell out! And we don't care if you end up a bum!
You also won't see too many Mexican or Italian Americans running around in nursing homes, but plenty of the kick-the-kids-out-at-18 crowd throws Grandma in there happily when the time comes.
I'm not. There can be some downsides to all that "closeness". But also it's fine for them if that's what they want but if you're not raised like that, it could be difficult to live like that.
The woman that babysat my kids for example -- her husband never moved out of the family home. For a while she said all three brothers, the 3 wives, and the parents lived in the one home. She said it was miserable.
Later the two brothers and their wives left but she ended up having to care for her father-in-law. Her sister-in-laws refused to help saying that they could never bring themselves to changing their own father's diapers and bathe him, it isn't seen in that culture as man's work, so it all fell on her. Never a day off, never a vacation.
And the guy I know did not enjoy the constant company of his in-laws even though he was born into that culture himself. He said he would have liked to have had more vacations but he couldn't afford many by having her parents tag along on every one of them, and they liked to complain if things were exactly to their liking. Never once did he and his wife take a vacation without them, not even the honeymoon. Any family outting he said, they were there. Often making the plans.
I prefer the American way where parents really don't try to be a burden to their children, I would not like to be one on mine, I didn't have them with the intention of getting free nursing services from them or their spouses, and I also want them to be independent adults who can take care of themselves.
there are people who live with their parents, but they actively take care of their aging parents. You interact with them and see that there is nothing dysfunctional about the relationship. Quite different from the person who is 26 but at home mooching and still keeps a messy bedroom that mommy comes in to clean up and pick the laundry up from the floor.
lol
A few guys I know had no choice but to get married after mommy decided she's had enough.
Normally, it would be a tough call for me. Prior to the recession I knew of tons of people who lived independently of Mom and Dad who asked them for money all that time...how is that better than living with them and not really needing their assistance beyond staying in the house? I paid my own way for everything, fixed the car, paid the insurance, the whole nine yards...I just lived with Mom and Dad.
That's an easy call...it's not. Living with parents and not asking for anything beyond a room to sleep in, some hot water to take a shower, and some electricity (stuff they're paying for already anyway) is far less moochy than expecting mom and dad to pay your rent and subsidize your bank account to keep your good times rollin. Doubly so if you up and leave "home" for some expensive place like NY or SF (because that's where all the cool kids want to live, natch.) This stuff has always stuck in my craw a little bit but whaddaya gonna do? Some kids and 20 somethings get to sport flashy lifestyles outside of their parents house without having to earn a dime of it.
My theory is, if you're gonna make the decision to mooch off of mom and dad for awhile, there needs to be a penalty. Having to kowtow to your parents on a daily basis by living under the same roof as a young adult certainly qualifies.
Yeah I agree with CPG, 30 is the limit. By then you should have gotten a good university degree where you can do something for the rest of your life. And you should have saved enough money to buy a condo, rent, home, etc for yourself.
There are people who live with their parents, but they actively take care of their aging parents. You interact with them and see that there is nothing dysfunctional about the relationship. Quite different from the person who is 26 but at home mooching and still keeps a messy bedroom that Mommy comes in to clean up and pick the laundry up from the floor.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Texas User
There are folks who are well educated and make over 6 figure income. They live at home and support their parents.
There's a big difference between " living with your parents " and having your " parents live with you " though. Wouldn'tyou agree?
Last edited by WhipperSnapper 88; 08-07-2011 at 08:46 PM..
The hypocrisy on this thread boggles the mind. No woman over 25 would look twice at a man who was living at home when he was 30. Be honest.
And I don't blame them.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
