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If I send a text to my buddy and don't get a response for a few days, I don't think they're ignoring me. Whenever some girl sends me a text and it takes a while to respond they instantly think I'm "playing games". I suppose the assumption is that if you have a mobile phone, it is on your person at all times, thus if you don't respond you're doing it on purpose. If I'm not working, my phone is rarely with me. Every girl I know has their phone permanently attached to their skull, so perhaps they think guys do as well. So, in closing, texting is for women.
Here's two examples, which are similar from 2 different friends.
Friend A may move back to the area in 3 months. I didn't hear from him for a few months, because he had some issues to deal with. So he finally text me to catch up. I text him the next day and he took 2 days to get back to me saying he plans to move back in 3 months. So I don't reply and I don't tell him I won't be in town during that time. He didn't bother contacting me for months and he takes days to get back to me, so I'm not going to worry about his plans or if he is expecting me to be around when he moves back.
Friend B is similar. I send an email maybe one a month. I sometimes don't get replies or she take a few days. I've tried to call but never got an answer. She's out of the country. She said she may move back at the end of the year. Same thing. I'm not going to keep he posted on my plans to be here or not.
Background: A few days ago a girl text me to go out. I had left my phone at work, so it took me close to a day to respond. After a half of a day, she text again, "I guess that means no" because it looked like I blew her off. So when I got my phone, I replied back saying I was sorry for ignoring her, I forgot my phone and that I wanted to go out. Then she said something like she didn't think I was ignoring her and that she doesn't text on demand either. Then I said I like to get back to people within a couple hours.
I've heard several women say that they don't text on demand and get back to people when they feel like it. I call a bit of BS on this. It seems that they are like everyone else, who wonders if they have been blown off if someone takes a day to get back to them. But then they want to feel like they can avoid others without having to say anything, like they need space. or are really looking to see if other plans will pan out.
I don't text At ALL forget about on demand. Maybe her communication habits are different than yours.
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I think that if you make a conscious decision to avoid someone, then you are being passive aggressive. You're trying to say something, by your avoidance, rather than confronting someone directly.
You have a choice. You can decide to get poed at someone else' communication choices, or your can lighten up and go with the flow. The latter seems easier to me.
If I send a text to my buddy and don't get a response for a few days, I don't think they're ignoring me. Whenever some girl sends me a text and it takes a while to respond they instantly think I'm "playing games". I suppose the assumption is that if you have a mobile phone, it is on your person at all times, thus if you don't respond you're doing it on purpose. If I'm not working, my phone is rarely with me. Every girl I know has their phone permanently attached to their skull, so perhaps they think guys do as well. So, in closing, texting is for women.
That's reasonable. The difference is that is normal for you. Anyone who knows you for some time wouldn't expect to communicate with you by text.
My friends know if they want an immediate response, they have to call me. If I'm available, I'll answer the phone. If I'm busy, they will leave a message.
The main purpose of my cell phone is for me to call 911 in an emergency, not for you to call me. I don't feel obligated by modern technology to be instantly accessible to all people at all times.
Texts are for things that can wait. Yep, that's what I said.
True. My definition is their previous pattern of behavior. So if it is a work day and they normally get back to me by the evening, then that is not a long time. If it is a non work day and they always have their phone on them and normally get back in a half hour, then talking several hours is a long time.
I'm not looking to make an issue of blowing me off, because it's pointless to try to change someone. But I think it is wise to downgrade the friendship if they are like that. For example, I would do favors for really good friends, like take them to the airport or help them with an errand, but if they are not there for me, then I will not be there for them. It goes both ways.
I agree. However, I go back to knowing your audience. There are times when I haven't turned my phone on at all because I don't want to talk, text or call anyone. Modern technology can be very annoying at times and I need a break from it.
Sometimes I find myself sitting in traffic looking around at all the other cars/drivers wth phones stuck to their ears and I say to myself "serenity now!!"
Background: A few days ago a girl text me to go out. I had left my phone at work, so it took me close to a day to respond. After a half of a day, she text again, "I guess that means no" because it looked like I blew her off. So when I got my phone, I replied back saying I was sorry for ignoring her, I forgot my phone and that I wanted to go out. Then she said something like she didn't think I was ignoring her and that she doesn't text on demand either. Then I said I like to get back to people within a couple hours.
I've heard several women say that they don't text on demand and get back to people when they feel like it. I call a bit of BS on this. It seems that they are like everyone else, who wonders if they have been blown off if someone takes a day to get back to them. But then they want to feel like they can avoid others without having to say anything, like they need space. or are really looking to see if other plans will pan out.
I think that if you make a conscious decision to avoid someone, then you are being passive aggressive. You're trying to say something, by your avoidance, rather than confronting someone directly. Obviously, people can have really busy days, or they are dealing with a stalkerish person. I'm not talking about that. I'm just talking about plain old avoidance of friendly text/calls/emails. So then I wonder how to approach these avoiders. They seem to want to keep me in their life, but I feel like I have to downgrade them. Like they should get back only what they give.
I agree. I think a big downside of texting is that many people have become so used to the instant gratification. People used to send letters and have to wait for the mail. Oh, the agony. And then there was the telephone and you could pick up the phone whenever ... but sometimes they weren't home. Or you'd get the answering machine. Now everybody expects you to have your cell on you at all times and therefore have no excuse not to respond immediately. They go overboard with that expectation, as if taking a few hours to respond means that you blew them off, when perhaps you just set your phone down and walked away for a while.
My teenaged daughter does it. I'm trying really hard to break her of the habit, but all of her friends are like this.
I don't text At ALL forget about on demand. Maybe her communication habits are different than yours.
You have a choice. You can decide to get poed at someone else' communication choices, or your can lighten up and go with the flow. The latter seems easier to me.
That's true. I think I am a little more direct and reliable than a lot of people, but there's no point in letting it bother me.
I agree. However, I go back to knowing your audience. There are times when I haven't turned my phone on at all because I don't want to talk, text or call anyone. Modern technology can be very annoying at times and I need a break from it.
Sometimes I find myself sitting in traffic looking around at all the other cars/drivers wth phones stuck to their ears and I say to myself "serenity now!!"
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