You need a significant other....... (dates, boyfriend, girlfriend, married)

[blkgiraffe]

OK, is it just me or do anyone else get annoyed when someone tells you that???

What I mean is we pretty much all have that friend or person in our life who happens to be in a great relationship; they're happy and yadda yadda yadda.

Since they're so happy with their life; they want to lecture and badger you about being single and not having that special someone in your life. I was speaking with a friend the other day and she was telling me about her boyfriend and how good he treats her and how happy she is [I don't know why she was telling me all this because I surely didn't care lol] and anyways; she continues on to go on about how I need a girlfriend.

Now, why do I need a girlfriend?? I'm not complaining, I don't recall ever saying I need one or anything. It's annoying to me because I'm not that type of dude who always need someone in his life; I'm perfectly happy and fine with being single. Having a girlfriend isn't a major priority in my life right now considering I'm still young and trying to get through college.

I think people act this way because they're not independent and feel they're not complete or need someone to validate them. I don't need that. I like being alone and having space because I get to enjoy freedom and live life like I want to without restrictions or having to worry about what the other may think.

Anyone, how do you guys feel about situations like this???

[cremebrulee]

Originally Posted by blkgiraffe

OK, is it just me or do anyone else get annoyed when someone tells you that???

What I mean is we pretty much all have that friend or person in our life who happens to be in a great relationship; they're happy and yadda yadda yadda.

Since they're so happy with their life; they want to lecture and badger you about being single and not having that special someone in your life. I was speaking with a friend the other day and she was telling me about her boyfriend and how good he treats her and how happy she is [I don't know why she was telling me all this because I surely didn't care lol] and anyways; she continues on to go on about how I need a girlfriend.

Now, why do I need a girlfriend?? I'm not complaining, I don't recall ever saying I need one or anything. It's annoying to me because I'm not that type of dude who always need someone in his life; I'm perfectly happy and fine with being single. Having a girlfriend isn't a major priority in my life right now considering I'm still young and trying to get through college.

I think people act this way because they're not independent and feel they're not complete or need someone to validate them. I don't need that. I like being alone and having space because I get to enjoy freedom and live life like I want to with restrictions or having to worry about what the other may think.

Anyone, how do you guys feel about situations like this???

Yup I do, and when I started vocolizing my feelings, people stopped. I had people setting up blind dates for me with LOOSERS.
You gotta start telling people, "I don't have to be a couple to be successful"....they don't seem to care who you marry, as long as you get married, which is such a primitive culture...we're beyond that now, years ago, a woman needed to be married...to be taken care of, and the men to...however, it's not necassary today....and I think your right, people act that way, not only b/c they are not independent, but they were actually raised to believe, they're sole purpose in life was to grow up, and get married. It's not, and couldn't be further from the truth...I love being alone as well, and making my own decissions, going when and where I want to go, without having to worry about what someone else wants to do. I suppose part of that is, I was in a hugely controlling relationship, where I couldn't go anywhere ever...all I did was work and went to the grocery store, I wasn't even allowed to take weekend getaways with my friends once in a while, so, you just do what makes you happy and stop worrying about living up to everyone else's expectations....you don't have to, this is YOUR life, YOUR time, live it and be happy...and if you meet someone someday, who is right for you, you'll be able to make a much wiser choice, by life experiences. Go, meet people, talk to people and most of all travel, understand, that even here in America, children are raised by way different cultures...we're not all the same, meaning, you want to make certain, who ever you marry thinks and feels like you do about what a relationship should be....you can't live up to someone else's idea of what your life should be, you cannot compromise your identity...you need to find someone who grew up within the same kind of culture that you did, who is compatible...not someone who grew up unaware, who lived a life thinking it's ok to control others, and expect them to live they're lives to they're expectations....so, wishing you the best. And above all, it's ok to feel as you do, I'm very proud of you for feeling this way, most don't.

Creme

[recuerdeme]

Originally Posted by blkgiraffe

OK, is it just me or do anyone else get annoyed when someone tells you that???

What I mean is we pretty much all have that friend or person in our life who happens to be in a great relationship; they're happy and yadda yadda yadda.

Since they're so happy with their life; they want to lecture and badger you about being single and not having that special someone in your life. I was speaking with a friend the other day and she was telling me about her boyfriend and how good he treats her and how happy she is [I don't know why she was telling me all this because I surely didn't care lol] and anyways; she continues on to go on about how I need a girlfriend.

Now, why do I need a girlfriend?? I'm not complaining, I don't recall ever saying I need one or anything. It's annoying to me because I'm not that type of dude who always need someone in his life; I'm perfectly happy and fine with being single. Having a girlfriend isn't a major priority in my life right now considering I'm still young and trying to get through college.

I think people act this way because they're not independent and feel they're not complete or need someone to validate them. I don't need that. I like being alone and having space because I get to enjoy freedom and live life like I want to without restrictions or having to worry about what the other may think.

Anyone, how do you guys feel about situations like this???

Uhm hmm I cannot relate.

[CancerianMoonPrincess]

I think that's society talking. You don't need an SO to be successful. That's almost like saying you need kids.

[purehuman]

blkgiraffe....I think she 's telling you you need a woman because she's actually envious of your single independance...she says she's very happy.....but subconciously...she's not.

[greatblueheron]

Agree with you blkgiraffe.... but then I am the same kind of person....as you described your self. While I am much older, having already been married and now divorced...

I find myself in your situation, with folks hinting I need to date or go out or whatever.....but NO wish to do so, am happy by myself-decided my NEXT husband will be a dog. A real one!

Perhaps it is just innate.....some of us are extroverted, who need/enjoy having someone around ALL the time, and those of us who are more introverted, needing not people but solitude and quiet.

Originally Posted by blkgiraffe

OK, is it just me or do anyone else get annoyed when someone tells you that???

What I mean is we pretty much all have that friend or person in our life who happens to be in a great relationship; they're happy and yadda yadda yadda.

Since they're so happy with their life; they want to lecture and badger you about being single and not having that special someone in your life. I was speaking with a friend the other day and she was telling me about her boyfriend and how good he treats her and how happy she is [I don't know why she was telling me all this because I surely didn't care lol] and anyways; she continues on to go on about how I need a girlfriend.

Now, why do I need a girlfriend?? I'm not complaining, I don't recall ever saying I need one or anything. It's annoying to me because I'm not that type of dude who always need someone in his life; I'm perfectly happy and fine with being single. Having a girlfriend isn't a major priority in my life right now considering I'm still young and trying to get through college.

I think people act this way because they're not independent and feel they're not complete or need someone to validate them. I don't need that. I like being alone and having space because I get to enjoy freedom and live life like I want to without restrictions or having to worry about what the other may think.

Anyone, how do you guys feel about situations like this???

[imsh0t]

just tell people your enjoying the single life and its awesome. Say you want to spend some time having freedom before tying yourself down in a relationship. I think most people would find that answer acceptable.

[Osito]

Yes it's very annoying when people say that. I'm sure most people mean well, they want you to have what they have and/or be happy. But I think there are people who do it to play on your insecurities too if it's something you're sensitive about (or they think they can make it that way for you).

It was a coincidence that all the people who used to be like this are not in my life, and my mother stopped hassling me about finding a boyfriend when having enough money to pay my bills became a bigger problem at one point.

[Crackpot]

Yup I do, and when I started vocalizing my feelings, people stopped. I had people setting up blind dates for me with LOSERS

I wish I remembered the comedian who said something along the lines of "You know the kind of friends you have when they set you up with losers - so they feel better about their own lives."

Never can understand the "You have to" types, they're way too deep into our culture that doing anything under the status quo is considered abnormal.

[Raena77]

Don't need one but would like one.