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Old 08-15-2011, 10:05 PM
Status: "Trying to put "Christmas' inside you." (set 9 days ago)
 
16,126 posts, read 8,334,633 times
Reputation: 11639

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Quote:
Originally Posted by bson1257 View Post
Yeah, your probably right. It wont be too long until men will become completely obsolete.
I think this hurt my brain.

The moment men become obsolete is the moment the Matrix is created and machines rule the world.
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Old 08-15-2011, 10:07 PM
 
Location: San Gabriel Valley, CA
12,217 posts, read 12,672,869 times
Reputation: 8207
I hear what you all are saying here about how attractive people don't have to be "personality-less," and I agree (as I usually do with these posters!), but I wanted to say this much, and it's about me only...it may not pertain to anyone else:

I never thought I was a pretty girl, and that did make me develop my personality. My sister was the pretty-in-pink, graceful dance school one. I was short, with overly-big eyes and extreme shyness, and I mucked up every dress I ever wore, so these were few; my mother wisely put me in pants and other rugged clothes instead.

But I wanted people to love me. People loved my sister just because she walked gracefully into a room. Me? They loved me when I took center stage and did a little stand-up comedy. Or when I came out with an amazing "fast fact" that even the grown-ups didn't know. Or when I sang a piece I'd practiced for a very long time, or when I did something extra-nice, or extra-sensitive or extra-caring or extra-helpful. When I did something outgoing that actively reached out.

When I simply walked into a room, as my sister did, nobody noticed me. Who notices an undergrown little girl with weird Anime size eyes on a shrimpy body? I would have loved to be able to believe then that it was inside that counted. But my experiences were different. People weren't outright mean to me or anything. I wasn't called "ugly." It's not like that. It was just...I was invisible. And pretty girls? Very visible, just by showing up, literally.

Some of that has changed somewhat in adulthood. We learn to hide our gut reactions better and we learn to give everyone a chance, which of course is a good thing.

I know for certain that many, many youngsters who don't feel "pretty" or "handsome" work 10x as much as the "popular kid" to have great aspects to their personality(ies? Ugh, bad grammar). So while it's untrue that every attractive man or woman is devoid of personality in the way we're interpreting it here, I can also see what the quoted poster is saying about those particular personalities (of those who..."never had to work at it," I think that's what he said).

Yes, it's a generalization but there are a few truths behind it in some cases. I don't think that poster meant to hurt good-looking men and women here by saying that. Just my $.02.
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Old 08-15-2011, 10:21 PM
 
Location: Tucson
42,844 posts, read 54,411,827 times
Reputation: 22789
Quote:
Originally Posted by JerZ View Post
I never thought I was a pretty girl, and that did make me develop my personality. My sister was the pretty-in-pink, graceful dance school one. I was short, with overly-big eyes and extreme shyness, and I mucked up every dress I ever wore, so these were few; my mother wisely put me in pants and other rugged clothes instead.

But I wanted people to love me. People loved my sister just because she walked gracefully into a room. Me? They loved me when I took center stage and did a little stand-up comedy. Or when I came out with an amazing "fast fact" that even the grown-ups didn't know. Or when I sang a piece I'd practiced for a very long time, or when I did something extra-nice, or extra-sensitive or extra-caring or extra-helpful. When I did something outgoing that actively reached out.
Nothing wrong with being an interesting person! I greatly appreciate it. Your post, however, sounds like (at least to me) overcompensating in order to be liked by everybody. This is off-putting to me... It could be just me... I don't even want to be liked by people I don't like and/or respect and if I am, I find it disturbing.
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Old 08-15-2011, 10:22 PM
 
Location: San Gabriel Valley, CA
12,217 posts, read 12,672,869 times
Reputation: 8207
Quote:
Originally Posted by sierraAZ View Post
Nothing wrong with being an interesting person! I greatly appreciate it. Your post, however, sounds like (at least to me) overcompensating in order to be liked by everybody.
Yes, can't argue with that. I did want to be liked by everybody. Or by somebody, anyway. But it *was* overcompensation, or it started out that way, anyway. Even so...I did see what I saw with the pretty girls and handsome boys receiving preferential treatment by many people (not everyone) just for breathing...that absolutely does happen. At least in my experience. I believe it still happens today in some ways, although I think today, we teach our kids to be so much more tolerant of (and celebratory about) others' differences...to include one another...etc. Which is, to my hippie mind, a beautiful thing!

I"m almost glad now for those early experiences, though. No...I *am* glad...period. Because I love being funny. I love being thoughtful. I love singing. I really like that I know how to play Pinochle, that my friends call me "Funk'n Wagnalls" (the "funk'n" is all blurred together as one word; you get the idea; it cracks me up) and that I love to dream and to think outside the box. And that I like to look inside people rather than just at the outside...and that includes the "beautiful" people who, contrary to popular belief, do have hardships. I like everything I learned to be, or developed from small beginnings or what have you. It all seems to have worked out.

Nowadays, though, as an adult, I'm more selective about whom I even want to like me. As Wayne said in Wayne's World, "Led Zeppelin didn't try to be liked by everybody. They left that to the Bee Gees."
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Old 08-16-2011, 11:21 AM
 
Location: Up in the air
19,127 posts, read 14,943,735 times
Reputation: 15768
Quote:
Originally Posted by Opsimathia View Post
Thats what he says.
Haha!

I swear if it were safe and appropriate I would like to see if he was a man of his word.

If the chase is the only fun part...he must get hit on by rather boring females.
Well, considering I've known him going on 15 years and lived with him for 4 of those I'd like to think I know him pretty well . He's pretty traditional in the sense that he wants a submissive woman who basically dotes on him. It cracks me up because I'm basically everything he dislikes in women all wrapped up in a bitchy 6' tall package .

He found a girl that wants nothing more than than to be his quiet little housewife so I truly believe there is someone out there for everyone
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Old 08-16-2011, 11:45 AM
 
1,860 posts, read 2,604,375 times
Reputation: 1348
Quote:
Originally Posted by bson1257 View Post
I never subscribed to any dating site, but I have looked through a bunch of profiles just to see what kind of girls are out there. I was surprised to see that there were a lot of girls who looked extremely attractive in their photos and a lot of them had a college degree. What I don't understand is why women like that would ever need to resort to online dating. They shouldn't have any problem meeting a guy outside of the internet. It makes me a little suspicious.
Maybe in recent time, they've only met men who were not good matches for them.

Maybe their lives (work/school/what not) severely limits their social time and they have limited means by which to even meet men.

Maybe they are not terribly busy but they just don't get to connect with men.

Maybe their girlfriends are taken and/or have no one to introduce to them or are themselves looking and are therefore not interested in helping them.

Maybe these women are curious about what it's like to date online.

Maybe they've gotten burned by the men they knew and figured going online may offer fresh candidates.

I'm not being sarcastic. I used to think that too but even good-looking women are going to face challenging circumstances which may limit their odds of landing a guy. Men face different factors and arguably good-looking women will get more attention by virtue of their looks (both online and offline) but given that there are MANY attractive females out there who are single (and not because they want to be)... it's not easy for anybody.

And I'd venture that attractive females can be "choosier," but if all the guys who go after them are no good, or are just horny, or are shallow, or are immature, or are irresponsible, or are weird, or what not... oh well. It's just hard. Period.
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Old 08-16-2011, 12:14 PM
 
Location: In my skin
8,058 posts, read 9,140,910 times
Reputation: 7934
Quote:
Originally Posted by bson1257 View Post
I never subscribed to any dating site, but I have looked through a bunch of profiles just to see what kind of girls are out there. I was surprised to see that there were a lot of girls who looked extremely attractive in their photos and a lot of them had a college degree. What I don't understand is why women like that would ever need to resort to online dating. They shouldn't have any problem meeting a guy outside of the internet. It makes me a little suspicious.
Online dating is not a last resort for losers who couldn't get a date otherwise. It is simply another way of meeting people and exploring more options than you would have off line. Nothing to be suspicious of.
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Old 08-16-2011, 12:21 PM
 
Location: In my skin
8,058 posts, read 9,140,910 times
Reputation: 7934
Quote:
Originally Posted by ChessieMom View Post
Okay I'm just gonna use this one post as an example of how people that have little or no experience with online dating, make glaringly foolish statements about it.

Seriously, if you spent enough time and effort to where you made some good connections with people, you wouldn't make such silly statements.
Ditto. This entire thread is quite entertaining.
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Old 08-16-2011, 02:22 PM
 
Location: USA
1,256 posts, read 617,225 times
Reputation: 1307
Quote:
Originally Posted by bson1257 View Post
I never subscribed to any dating site, but I have looked through a bunch of profiles just to see what kind of girls are out there. I was surprised to see that there were a lot of girls who looked extremely attractive in their photos and a lot of them had a college degree. What I don't understand is why women like that would ever need to resort to online dating. They shouldn't have any problem meeting a guy outside of the internet. It makes me a little suspicious.

internet offers a more variety of meeting different guys rather than going to a bar somewhere in the same town

or

some might not like to mingle with people, they just want a guy
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Old 08-17-2011, 01:49 AM
 
Location: On the "Left Coast", somewhere in "the Land of Fruits & Nuts"
7,327 posts, read 4,047,383 times
Reputation: 4347
...or, for some reason, they have a lot of difficulty with relationships in real life (the operative phrase being, "for some reason").
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