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Old 05-14-2010, 12:21 PM
 
272 posts, read 360,992 times
Reputation: 266
Financially the wife, but only if she finds out about the affair
After death, the wife has the best chance of getting into Heaven (if she has been faithful)
The husband probably has the highest stress level due to the constant challenges of correlating time with wife and Mistress
The Husband before he's caught,,despite stress, has overall happiest mood. Most likely feeling like a stud because he's doing two women
Depends on the type of Mistress is she merely a gold digger that is only their to reap monetary rewards in exchange for sex or is she actually emotionally attached to the married man?

 
Old 05-14-2010, 07:38 PM
 
3,441 posts, read 4,908,867 times
Reputation: 2309
Quote:
Originally Posted by LoveMiiorHateMii View Post
I wanted to know the answer to this question for a long time. I just want to get others opinions on it. And No, I am not a mistress and I am not even married, but I am just curious after reading some of the posts.

So who has it the best, the wife or the mistress? I will give my take on it later.
It depends on who has the most heart invested into the relationship. Who ever has the most heart into it will loose the most when everything ends.

So with that said it really depends on the individual.
 
Old 05-14-2010, 08:08 PM
 
Location: Houston, TX
1,419 posts, read 1,178,336 times
Reputation: 1473
The man loses the trust and respect of his kids. Whether he admits it or not- he loses some self-respect, too. These are things that you bury into the future- but they do eventually find you.
The mistress has no excuse, unless the man lied to her.
Both are selfish and will usually band together, trying to feel better about their lack of character by finding excuses about how terrible the wife is. They are both snakes.

The wife is usually not totally innocent. She does have flaws that may contribute to the man's unhappiness...but we ALL have flaws. It's how we choose to deal with them that makes us honorable or not.

She can usually at least hold her head up that she tried to honor her vows...but that's a small comfort when you are financially ruined and emotionally abandoned.

Cheaters suck. If you are not happy, cowboy-up and make changes BEFORE you get involved with someone new.
 
Old 05-14-2010, 09:17 PM
 
3,184 posts, read 2,110,034 times
Reputation: 4031
Quote:
Originally Posted by malditah0130 View Post
The husband and the OW i told you guys about are now living together btw..and said they dont need to have sex for them to stay together. It's more than that. Said they were together because they're happy and in love. Husband still goes to the city where his wife and kids live for about 3 days every month.

So this is not about money, sex, or being n second place. I dont even think the OW can be considered at second place in this situation.

I wonder what's gonna happen though.
I'll bet you she's not too happy about those three days he goes to the city to be with the kids. She isn't.

And you don't think the kids aren't going to start looking at having daddy 3 days out the month, feel deprived and betrayed...and then in their young minds draw a line straight to the OW as the cause their daddy isn't around more of the time? They will. If you think they're gonna be completely cool with that, think again.
 
Old 05-19-2010, 03:19 PM
 
Location: Metro Manila
6 posts, read 10,911 times
Reputation: 12
Quote:
Originally Posted by laorbust61 View Post
I'll bet you she's not too happy about those three days he goes to the city to be with the kids. She isn't.

And you don't think the kids aren't going to start looking at having daddy 3 days out the month, feel deprived and betrayed...and then in their young minds draw a line straight to the OW as the cause their daddy isn't around more of the time? They will. If you think they're gonna be completely cool with that, think again.

Yea..I asked the OW what it's like with her when she knows that the husband's with the family.. Said it sucks big time..especially during their first few months..but starting this month, since they are already living together, it doesnt hurt that much anymore.. She just kinda missed him, that's all. The husband told the OW that it was unexpected that this time he even feels that whenever he goes back to his family, it's as if it's the OW he's cheating on (instead of the other way around, which is the real case). I personally believe the husband when he tells stuff to the OW. Remember, that they have been really good friends before all of these has started.
 
Old 07-25-2010, 04:30 PM
 
2 posts, read 2,884 times
Reputation: 10
I am a mistress. I will tell you why. I was raised to be loyal and obedient to one man. I did that. Married this idiot that I thought was a good man, worshipped him, did everything possible to make him happy, worked my butt off to provide for him because he had a hard time getting jobs in his occupation. Gave him a beautiful son. Picked his clothes off the floor and closed the toilet lid without a peep from my lips. Cooked his favorite foods everyday. Gave him everything any man would ask for. He cheated on me, watched porn behind my back, would stay out drinking til 3 or 4 in the morning. Disdained me, ridiculed me, and emotionally abused me the entire relationship once we committed ourselves to each other. Now we are separated and getting a divorce. Do you think I, a beautiful 33-yr-old woman, don't want sex? Heck yeah I want sex!! Do you think I want to be in another committed relationship? Heck NO! Are you kidding me? Many men are in dissatisfied relationships because the wife doesn't give what she should give. I blame the wife unless he is an alcoholic and abuser like my husband was/is. Then it's his own fault. So I get my pleasure without the attached strings. I have to keep my heart detached for my own sake and my son's sake. He doesn't need to see his mom go through a string of men. So my side interests stay secret. But it keeps me from going back to hubby. If I don't get some, it's too easy for me to cave into his begging and pleading for one more f***ing chance.
 
Old 07-25-2010, 04:37 PM
 
9,648 posts, read 6,735,048 times
Reputation: 5892
silent voice I would tell you you can find sex from a single man no problems with out strings as well

as to who has it better a wife or mistress, they are both getting the short end of the stick from a man who is too much of a chicken sh*t to lead an honest life.
 
Old 07-25-2010, 05:05 PM
 
2 posts, read 2,884 times
Reputation: 10
mmmm point well said and taken. Most single men my age are either married or only want sex with women that meet their perfect little ideal. I don't have a perfect body. I'm pretty, but not perfect. So it's much harder to find a single man with no problems and no strings. But thanks for encouraging me to keep my focus on better things than chicken sh*t lol I like that. Thanks, hothulamaui
 
Old 07-25-2010, 05:40 PM
 
3,261 posts, read 2,814,675 times
Reputation: 3889
Quote:
Originally Posted by silent voice View Post
I am a mistress. I will tell you why. I was raised to be loyal and obedient to one man. I did that. Married this idiot that I thought was a good man, worshipped him, did everything possible to make him happy, worked my butt off to provide for him because he had a hard time getting jobs in his occupation. Gave him a beautiful son. Picked his clothes off the floor and closed the toilet lid without a peep from my lips. Cooked his favorite foods everyday. Gave him everything any man would ask for. He cheated on me, watched porn behind my back, would stay out drinking til 3 or 4 in the morning. Disdained me, ridiculed me, and emotionally abused me the entire relationship once we committed ourselves to each other. Now we are separated and getting a divorce. Do you think I, a beautiful 33-yr-old woman, don't want sex? Heck yeah I want sex!! Do you think I want to be in another committed relationship? Heck NO! Are you kidding me? Many men are in dissatisfied relationships because the wife doesn't give what she should give. I blame the wife unless he is an alcoholic and abuser like my husband was/is. Then it's his own fault. So I get my pleasure without the attached strings. I have to keep my heart detached for my own sake and my son's sake. He doesn't need to see his mom go through a string of men. So my side interests stay secret. But it keeps me from going back to hubby. If I don't get some, it's too easy for me to cave into his begging and pleading for one more f***ing chance.
Wow, this is so sad on so many levels. I'm sorry you were married to an abusive creep who hurt & cheated on you. Yet, now you are knowingly seeking out married men, because you want no-strings attached sex? Don't you see the sick irony?
 
Old 07-25-2010, 06:15 PM
 
5,030 posts, read 2,754,503 times
Reputation: 2590
The mistress might have it better. She knows the guy is married and nothing will come out of that. So she goes in there, enjoys the sex, the dinners/wine, the gifts, etc. She shakes the dust off her hands, and walks away with no wife responsibilities to fulfill.
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