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Do you believe in free sex (one-night stands, hook ups, sex buddies, etc.)? You might say that you have sex with your long time husband or boyfriend just because but for him to get all the way to that point he had to work it and I am not talking necessarily about him spending money on you but about him working it (romancing you, conquering your heart, convincing you that he was worth it, etc.) to get to that point. “Free sex” is not just about a guy spending money on a girl (dinners, wine, entertainment, her gifts, etc.) but also about not putting effort in romancing her, conquering her heart, etc. How many of you had sex buddies, one night stands, etc.?
You know a marriage or a relationship is a two-way street right? It doesn't just consist of the guy doing all the work to get there. The woman also puts in plenty of work herself.
Not all dating ends in the altar. Not all dating purposes include putting a ring on a woman’s finger.
Do you believe in free sex (one-night stands, hook ups, sex buddies, etc.)? You might say that you have sex with your long time husband or boyfriend just because but for him to get all the way to that point he had to work it and I am not talking necessarily about him spending money on you but about him working it (romancing you, conquering your heart, convincing you that he was worth it, etc.) to get to that point. “Free sex” is not just about a guy spending money on a girl (dinners, wine, entertainment, her gifts, etc.) but also about not putting effort in romancing her, conquering her heart, etc. How many of you had sex buddies, one night stands, etc.?
By your own admission - you don't like one night stands or sleeping with people too soon either. So does this mean that you make a woman romance you, conquer your heart, convince you that she is worth it? Does this mean that you don't believe in "free" sex either? Do you make a woman work for it?
You and I are just on completely different wavelengths. Sex, to me, isn't something that someone either works for or just receives. Sex isn't something you give away. Sex isn't some object like that. Sex is an act between two people. When both people are ready and willing, they may partake in this activity. I've only had sex with 5 people. 3 of them I was in serious relationships with. One of them I was casually seeing - I wouldn't even say dating - I don't think we went on any official dates. One guy was a spur of the moment thing. Sex is a two person activity - not something like a cookie that I either give someone for free or make them buy it off me.
You know a marriage or a relationship is a two-way street right? It doesn't just consist of the guy doing all the work to get there. The woman also puts in plenty of work herself.
A man has to approach you, ask you out, be a gentleman, pay for your things, romance you, propose, buy your ring, ask for your hand, and so on to be considered worthy but we're not talking about that. I was asking if women believed in free sex, that is, having sex with a guy that has not done anything for it (no taking you out, not doing anything to convince you he is relationship material, etc.). A guy that has sex in a relationship had to do something to get there.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dewdrop93
By your own admission - you don't like one night stands or sleeping with people too soon either. So does this mean that you make a woman romance you, conquer your heart, convince you that she is worth it? Does this mean that you don't believe in "free" sex either? Do you make a woman work for it?
Nope, WE work it. Remember, I like things to revolve around BOTH of us right off the bat (since date #1) instead of being put into initial stages, probation periods, and so on until she is convinced I am worth it for her to start doing something for me. That is how it has worked just fine between me and the girls I am accustomed dating. Different culture.
And yes, I don’t like the idea of one night stands, hook ups, sex buddies, etc.
Nope, WE work it. Remember, I like things to revolve around BOTH of us right off the bat instead of being put into initial stages, probation periods, and so on for her to start doing something for me and is convinced I am worth it. That is how it has worked just fine between me and the girls I am accustomed dating. Different culture.
And yes, I don’t like the idea of one night stands, hook ups, sex buddies, etc.
So, let me get this straight. In your relationships - things revolve around both of you. But in everyone else's relationships, the women need to be "paid" in order to have sex. In your relationships - when you wait to have sex, it's because you don't like one night stands, sex buddies, etc. But in everyone else's relationships, when they wait to have sex, it's because the woman doesn't believe in "free" sex. I guess I'm at a loss for why you think your relationships revolve around the both of you and you think every other woman's relationship revolves just around her… Why do you think that? You seem to think that all American men spend lots and lots of money on dinners, presents, jewelry, vacations, etc. just in order to get into a girls pants. Funny thing - I've never dated a guy like that and I certainly don't demand those things before I sleep with someone. Honestly, if I had a guy showering me with money and gifts, I would feel really uncomfortable. Why do you think that your relationships are so different and superior to everyone else's?
Great! some of you made some great points! I too think neither one of them has it better in the long run becasue when everything comes to ahead, both of them will be left in hurt and pain.
I wanted to ask this question because my friend is in a similar situation where she and this guy were friends since high school, but ended up having sex and she now has a 2 month old. He has been with his wife for 5 years and has no kids with her. His family does not like his wife (at all) and they love the baby. When she first told us she was pregnant, she said he told her that he would rather be with her, but he doesn't want to hurt his wife. The wife knows about the baby, but from what I hear from my friend, she does not care.
I always tell her to leave the guy alone because if he wanted to leave her, then he would, but nothing has happened yet, and to be honest, I do not think it will happen!
I'm assuming he isn't happy with his wife, that's why he's with your friend. If they have no children (often the reason why couples stay together), why are they still together? Sounds like this guy is feeding your friend a load of bull. I don't get why his wife didn't dump him after he had a baby with another woman.
A man has to approach you, ask you out, be a gentleman, pay for your things, romance you, propose, buy your ring, ask for your hand, and so on to be considered worthy but we're not talking about that. I was asking if women believed in free sex, that is, having sex with a guy that has not done anything for it (no taking you out, not doing anything to convince you he is relationship material, etc.). A guy that has sex in a relationship had to do something to get there.
A man doesn't have to ask me out or pay for my things. I pay for my own things. Why do you have such antiquated ideas about women?
A woman who has sex in a relationship also had to do something to get there. It's a two way street.
How would the terms one night stand, hook ups, etc exist if not for women?
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Originally Posted by onihC
A man has to approach you, ask you out, be a gentleman, pay for your things, romance you, propose, buy your ring, ask for your hand, and so on to be considered worthy but we're not talking about that. I was asking if women believed in free sex, that is, having sex with a guy that has not done anything for it (no taking you out, not doing anything to convince you he is relationship material, etc.). A guy that has sex in a relationship had to do something to get there.
Nope, WE work it. Remember, I like things to revolve around BOTH of us right off the bat (since date #1) instead of being put into initial stages, probation periods, and so on until she is convinced I am worth it for her to start doing something for me. That is how it has worked just fine between me and the girls I am accustomed dating. Different culture.
And yes, I don’t like the idea of one night stands, hook ups, sex buddies, etc.
So, let me get this straight. In your relationships - things revolve around both of you. But in everyone else's relationships, the women need to be "paid" in order to have sex
To have sex, it’s not as easy as just a guy asking for it. He has to show in one way or the other that he “deserves” it. Unless you believe in giving away sex easily (sex buddies, one night stands, hook ups, etc.).
Quote:
You seem to think that all American men spend lots and lots of money on dinners, presents, jewelry, vacations, etc. just in order to get into a girls pants.
Not just for sex but to be in a relationship. Men do have to pretty much jump through hoops to convince the girl to be his girlfriend. The whole courtship and all. And no, my way of doing things, as I have said in different occasions, it’s just different (not better, not worse).
Quote:
Originally Posted by Braunwyn
How would the terms one night stand, hook ups, etc exist if not for women?
Yes, women like that exist who have no problem with free sex. How about you? Do you have or had sex buddies before, sex hook ups, one night stands?
Quote:
A woman who has sex in a relationship also had to do something to get there. It's a two way street.
Tell me something, do men, generally speaking, need to be convinced that a girl is relationship material to have sex with her? Do women have to nag a man for sex, convince a man, etc.? women have to do nothing to get sex if you think about it.
From what I know about Huck, I believe he is using the term "gloria steinem" as a blanket statement for all women or at least some women who are part of the man hating, sex is bad, men only use women as whores movement. Actually he should be using Andrea Dworkin as his example. Anyway, you and I know that not all women are as he describes and it's hard for some men to understand that there are lots of married couples out there that have great relationships and great sex lives, but that's really not popular on city data, it's seen as bragging or that you're just a damn liar.
Both Braunwyn and Huck make some good points, Braunwyn more so, sorry Huck.
thank u u r very kind.
this thread reminds me of the 1950's mind set of men . 1950's belief of men was that women were content at home. i remember that men were dumbfounded when the womens revolution hit in the 60's. they stood aghast at the front pages. women were not ok with the status quo.
something was fundamental wrong in the relationship. the many reproaches on this thread remind me that now the tables are turned. it is now the women telling the men they are confused and that they are in fact happy with the status quo. we used to say that to our wives. however a 50% drop in marriage & a large increase in divorce, has not shaken this current perception of how men feel at all, this is something very new. the error lies in telling people how they feel instead of asking them.
Last edited by Huckleberry3911948; 11-16-2011 at 05:25 PM..
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Anyway, you and I know that not all women are as he describes and it's hard for some men to understand that there are lots of married couples out there that have great relationships and great sex lives, but that's really not popular on city data, it's seen as bragging or that you're just a damn liar. 
