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One guy (rocket scientist at NASA) had horrible smelling hair, he used Head & Shoulders. Sure I could have suggested he use something else but ehhh I couldn't deal with the smell so I split.
One guys' penis just wasn't pretty and it made me gag just seeing it.
One guy had bacne and I shudder thinking about that.
One guy showed me a picture of him in drag (Halloween) still I had to say adios.
One guy (Mexican) would obviously eat some horrible Mexican food (probably daily) the days we would hang out and he'd sometimes burp and it was maybe the worst smell in the world. So adios muchacho.
One girl in college pursued me in a pretty blatant way. So we had lunch, chit chatted on the phone, etc. However, I couldn't shake the opinion that she just was too clingy and really didn't have a lot in common with me.
She asked what I was doing one Friday night, to which I replied that some buddies and I were going to the midnight showing of Monty Python and the Holy Grail. She clapped her hands together and squealed, "Oh, I Loooooove that movie!" So I invited her to come along.
Fifteen minutes into the movie, as we're all laughing our asses off ("My sister got bitten by a moose once"), she leans over to me and says, "I don't know what you're laughing at. This movie isn't very funny at all."
At that moment, I simply said, "Okay. Well, let's head out." I took her home and never called her back. I mean, if she didn't share my sense of humor, why else would I go out with her?
Girl 1 was a "cat person" and her breath smelled like spoiled milk.
Girl 2 started putting on weight and not doing anything about it.
Girl 3 talked down to EVERYONE and thought she was better/smarter/prettier than everyone else.
Girl 4 seemed to only want me for sex. Think I was just the "guy on the side". You know, in a relationship but have a super hot guy on the side for great uninhibited sex that the other guy is unable to provide.
Girl 5 was a hardcore Jehovas Witness. I pretended to be one myself because she was SMOKING HOT - half Asian, quarter Russian, quarter black, and would ONLY date J.W. guys. She would say things like "there's this demon who is constantly bothering me in my room...." that I just couldnt take.
Probably a few more that I just cant recall right now.
1) I don't mind cats. In fact I like cats. Always had a cat. I think cats are kind of cool. But this one girl had three cats, each of which had a name that ended in the letter Y, and talked about them as if they were human beings. Bleagh.
2) Another girl was a smoker. Kissing her was awful.
3) Another girl compulsively yakked on the phone. No kidding. She was the total package. But every she invited me over, she would get 4-5 phone calls from girlfriends and would yap with them for HOURS. I mean, why did she keep invited me over if she couldn't detach the phone from her ear?
4) Yet another girl was a model. As in a cover girl who had been on several fashion magazine covers (I didn't even realize it until our fourth or fifth date when she pulled out her portfolio). But her eating habits were so finicky that planning a dinner out was the equivalent of tiptoeing through a minefield and shinnying under razor wire. It just stressed me out too much.
5) Another girl had a shelfload of books on relationships. The more you need, the more likely you are to be clueless.
6) Like Lao, another decided she wanted me to be her on-the-side boyfriend until she convinced another guy to marry her. Yes, she said that. She felt he would have better earning potential. I didn't get mad. I just hung up on her in mid-sentence.
I always had great success in chatting up and hooking up with chicks I find in the "Self Help" and "New Age" section in the bookstores or had lots of these books at home. Usually, they are slightly mental and as such, great in bed.
As far as being the "side dude", I actually kinda liked the chick because we did nothing but have FUN but I wasnt an NBA player like other guys she hung out with.
Oh, another chick I broke up with was a HOT Belize chick who had the biggest boobs Ive ever seen on a thin/petite chick. I broke up with her because I worried that she wanted to have my baby, and she had this little thing going on where she would kinda talk out of the side of her mouth, and smile sideways. I started calling her "Stroke Face". My buddies would say "Dude, where's that big boobied Belieze chick you were hanging out with?", I'd say "You mean Stroke Face? I dumped her"
I broke up with a guy once because he's much shorter than me. i couldn't bring myself to tell him the truth so I made up a lame excuse to break up with him (can't even remember what the excuse was anymore).
One guy (rocket scientist at NASA) had horrible smelling hair, he used Head & Shoulders. Sure I could have suggested he use something else but ehhh I couldn't deal with the smell so I split.
One guys' penis just wasn't pretty and it made me gag just seeing it.
One guy had bacne and I shudder thinking about that.
One guy showed me a picture of him in drag (Halloween) still I had to say adios.
One guy (Mexican) would obviously eat some horrible Mexican food (probably daily) the days we would hang out and he'd sometimes burp and it was maybe the worst smell in the world. So adios muchacho.
One guy's car wasn't up to standards. Image.
[chuckle]
Was that before or after you chased amigo down to old me-hee-co
Used my toothbrush after spending the night - Got rid of her instead of the toothbrush
Ate crazy bread and smelled like garlic constantly - Got rid of her cuz i didnt quite know how to address the issue.
Constantly talked about loving children and wanting to start a family soon - Got rid of her as well, wasnt ready to be a dad.
Thought it was funny to fart in the car and did it to get a rise out of me - Got rid of her cuz she was just nasty.
Forgot to tell me she was engaged for the duration of our relations - Threw her out of the apt. Never cheated on anyone and didnt want to be caught in a love triangle.
Secretly tried to film us in the act for show and tell - Got rid of her, didnt want to end up on a porn site. Freakin chick was a nympho
Always came over for a good time but then would send text messages preaching about how we've sinned against God & needed t repent - Got rid of her cuz she needed to be on some sort of bipolar meds!!!
Obviously not my finest moment...but learned something from each and everyone of these women. Still friends with all but the farting machine. The split came to her as a surprise.
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