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Old 08-18-2011, 10:18 AM
 
9,718 posts, read 6,226,172 times
Reputation: 9751
Quote:
Originally Posted by liakel11 View Post
Me and my husband have been together a little over a year and we have a 3 month old baby. My insecurities have made his life a living hell. I get jelous and nervous when he speaks too or texts other females. He's always aggrivated with me but i can't stop thinking wrong. How do i help myself not lose my husband and gain some confidence?
I don't think your insecurities are part of the problem......I also think that your jealousy and nervousness are something that your husband could easily allay.........You are not making HIS life a living hell....but rather your own....let it go....the fact that your husband thinks it's ok to text and chat with other woman is unfortunate (especially when he knows how it makes you feel)...but I doubt that there's really anything your dissatisfaction with it is going to change....The fact is he really obviously doesn't care, and I highly doubt that he will quit...as it doesn't seem that he deems you worthy of that respect....sorry!
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Old 08-18-2011, 10:47 AM
 
2,997 posts, read 2,596,587 times
Reputation: 1713
Quote:
Originally Posted by purehuman View Post
I don't think your insecurities are part of the problem......I also think that your jealousy and nervousness are something that your husband could easily allay.........You are not making HIS life a living hell....but rather your own....let it go....the fact that your husband thinks it's ok to text and chat with other woman is unfortunate (especially when he knows how it makes you feel)...but I doubt that there's really anything your dissatisfaction with it is going to change....The fact is he really obviously doesn't care, and I highly doubt that he will quit...as it doesn't seem that he deems you worthy of that respect....sorry!
It is obvious he doesnt care...which is why She needs to take some affirmative steps in making him change his mind and actions ; sadly , shes got a lowlife of a 'husband' under her roof and if drastic changes arent made, she will end up either having a sad marriage that stays together for the sake of the infant baby , or, she will eventually divorce him down the road when his present actions escalate into the next phase : full blown adultery. Now is the time to take action with an ultimatum which will hopefully snap him out of his self centeredness and apathy toward his marriage, into the proper husband and father that he should be.

Note to the OP : Go to www.newlife.com for good materials and a call in talk show which often covers situations you are currently in. There are many wives in your sad situation.
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Old 08-18-2011, 04:42 PM
 
Location: Northeastern WI
19,400 posts, read 16,118,895 times
Reputation: 36116
There's always the flip side of a coin. Sometimes a guy can have female friends and legitimately you don't have to worry about things. Especially when they don't try and hide texts, make secret calls when you're away or ignore calls if you're around. But there are some of us who have been jacked over enough times that when the right one does come along,we don't want to give in because we've heard every persuasive story out there. Not to say a guy shouldn't be allowed to communicate, work with or have female friends. But there should be a line drawn.
I was that way forever but changed my outlook. Am too freaking old to play that game anymore.
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Old 08-18-2011, 11:49 PM
 
1,846 posts, read 1,387,227 times
Reputation: 2443
Quote:
Originally Posted by liakel11 View Post
These girls are ppl he has had feelings for before that's why it bothers one of them calls him blocked and i had already met her she's the home wrecking type, he no longer answers the phone, he trys to but i think she hangs up Cuz she thinks its me, I put a stop to that. I hide to it was getting to me. Why would u wanna talk to a girl hate is going to constantly throw herself on u and disrespect. Ur wife? The other girl he had feelings for I've met her before. She's nice but the fact that he's had feelings for her and he still sweet talks her and calls her sexy n says that she is the only girl he will ever call babygirl. I'm threatened by her, and yes i was snooping but only because he began to delete phone calls and texts. I can't help but to think negetivly...
Right there you know your answer...In my honest opinion? If he still answers calls from a known home wrecker? If he has a girl he still speaks to and calls sexy? And has stated to you SHE is the only girl he will ever call babygirl? A HUGE factor if it were me..I am usuallhy very diplomatic..however if he is still addressing this woman as thus? You are right..he is not respecting the marriage..

You are married now love jones..you are his wife noone should have pet names save family members..period and end of story...

Quote:
Originally Posted by liakel11 View Post
Lol yes english is my first language I'm just still kinda sleepy. Sorry he told me about him liking them before. And he has told me that they were playing but i think he was just trying to save his ass because that txt he told her that they should have gotten together i mean really wtf is that?
YOU know what you read right? This is unacceptable behavior for a married man..you want to be all cute and flirt with past women? Get a divorce...once married? The dynamics change...this is not taboo...

Quote:
Originally Posted by liakel11 View Post
To be honest the whole relationship has been a little over a year. Lol. It felt so right being with him. We moved in together a few months after we met and a couple of months later i got pregnant. It weeks rushed but like i said we had the perfect relationship i just think I'm letting my negetive thoughts rule over my emotions. Do u think?
Okay while the relationship went warp speed he was a participant was he not? You got pregnant after you moved in?
YOU are attempting to rationalize now...
No you are not over reacting...you moved in..got pregnant and he was okay with this...well? Bought and paid for...bottom line..HE did not have to move in with you...and he could have left when you got pregnant...there is no excuse for his behavior.

Quote:
Originally Posted by liakel11 View Post
Actually he's never said that to me, he tells me that he loves me and he wants to make me happy but that I'm pushing him away. Hes very social n makes friends quickly but I'm a stay at home Mom n he's my dominant yes but not because he's forced his way there but because i wanna make my man happy. I just don't wanna lose him tfor being on him too much but him and the baby are all i care for to me. I don't need friends i need my bestfriend,husband.
Okay I am going to guess you are young early 20's to mid..
And there is a difference between being friendly and calling girls baby girl, telling them he should have been with him..what am I missing?

You are at the crossroads, you are mommy..and focusing allyour attention on the baby and hium..but be careful not to lose yourself
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Old 08-19-2011, 12:35 AM
 
18,870 posts, read 14,242,342 times
Reputation: 24790
I am thinking that maybe he was not ready to be "Daddy". And is still hanging around with wanting to be the major stud. Maybe he is just not that into settling down with one woman. I don't know your situation, but you moved in with him, and maybe he was just getting used to having you around, then you get pregnant, and he was not ready for that change...so, talk to him about it. Maybe you were not ready either, and take all the frustration out on him. Having an unplanned pregnancy is a relationship killer, many times.

I also think that you need to take some classes, or get a job. Maybe if you felt more secure about yourself, you would not worry about him talking to some loser chick. After all, Arnold cheated on Maria Shriver, and she is like super woman...she just moved on....don't waste time and energy being jealous and creating drama....
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