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Me and my husband have been together a little over a year and we have a 3 month old baby. My insecurities have made his life a living hell. I get jelous and nervous when he speaks too or texts other females. He's always aggrivated with me but i can't stop thinking wrong. How do i help myself not lose my husband and gain some confidence?
First step is to stop and think before you open your mouth..
If you have a problem, talk to him calmly after the event, when you have calmed down a little, explain to him how you felt, and why, without being accusatory.
When he answers, or reassures you, listen to him.
It's not automatically true that he's lying !!!
I suppose it depends on who the other females are, and what his reasons for texting them are.
My crazy ex wife was jealous of my sister, and used to go crazy if I text her, she also had an epic strop because when she phoned me at work, a female receptionist answered, and she was convinced I was sleeping with "the sl*t"
Ironically enough, she was the one who wound up being unfaithful !!
You two will have to work together, it's not just your problem, it's both your problem.
Google is your friend, do some reading, find some online advice, possibly even seek counselling
Me and my husband have been together a little over a year and we have a 3 month old baby. My insecurities have made his life a living hell. I get jelous and nervous when he speaks too or texts other females. He's always aggrivated with me but i can't stop thinking wrong. How do i help myself not lose my husband and gain some confidence?
Are these females co-workers or freinds of the family ? If not, then you have good reason to be very very concerned which justifies your insecurity because a Spouse should be affirming his/her devotion to the other Spouse and kids because he/she is trustworthy , has personal integrity ,and respect for Oneself . I hope he is not like so many other Jerks out there who have low self esteem and other insecurities himself , which he tries to get fulfilled thru emotional (leading up to physical) adultery given time.
Theres this 20 something Husband and Father who comes into my local Starbucks often with his wife , but oftentimes without her ; when he is without her, hes quick to start hitting on a nearby single woman gushing all sorts of psuedo-affectionate words in her direction. Makes me sick and I feel like taling to him man to man.
You need to sit down and have a calm and rational conversation with your husband. Explain your feelings and let him explain his. You've only been together a year and you have a brand new baby. Odds are he is not cheating on you.
You need to understand that jealousy is the number one sign of a weak insecure person and no one is attracted to an insecure person.
I've been on the opposite side of this and when I was younger I would question when and where my GF's were going, who they were with, when they would be home etc and in everyone of those relationships they broke up with me. It took me a while to understand what I was doing as I had no one to point out my mistakes. After I learned my relationships became much more fulfilling and positive and I actually had to break off relationships with women because they were acting insecure and clingy.
I've been with the current GF for 6 yrs and we are perfect. She is a strong and secure person. We talk about everything and I have complete trust in her and she in me. we both also understand that if we violate that trust there will be no going back.
She has several guys that she is freinds with and I have several women I'm friends with. She hangs out with her friends and i hang out with mine. In the 6 yrs I have never once considered cheating. I have been offered a couple of times and even lost a couple of friends when I turned them down.
Long and short of it is the two of you need to find trust and understanding. If you can't trust him then you will drive him away with constant nagging and jealously. He will begin to avoid you and eventually leave.
Are these females co-workers or freinds of the family ? If not, then you have good reason to be very very concerned .
Sorry but I do not agree with this at all. A guy is allowed to have female friends just as a women is allowed to have male friends. Doesn't mean they are sleeping together. If you are having that large of trust issues then you need to rethink your relationship.
Sorry but I do not agree with this at all. A guy is allowed to have female friends just as a women is allowed to have male friends. Doesn't mean they are sleeping together. If you are having that large of trust issues then you need to rethink your relationship.
Sorry but i do not agree with this, at all. A Husband is allowed to have female friends WITH HIS WIFE KNOWING FULL WELL that it is strictly platonic AND WITH HIS WIFES CONSENT . In a marriage or any committed relationship between the sexes, it demands full disclosure of such external people of the opposite sex so that trust, loyalty, integrity, and dignity can be maintained. If a Husband isnt concerned with such things for the healthy sustenance of his commitment to his wife and family, then he has crossed over the boundary line and is an untrustworthy lowlife of a Husband. Same applies to women in marriages or commited relationships ; if a person isnt going to be faithful and have integrity, then dont get yourself into a commitment expecting another to fully trust you.
Hopefully, the OP will tell us if these other women are co-workers or not ; but i suspect they are not and we have a lowlife Husband who gets the all too common Medal of Disgust.
I suspect that you're looking at a very grey area in a black and white way.
He is obviously disclosing that he's in touch with females, but we don't know if he's disclosing the information voluntarily, or if there's snooping going on.
I think we need more information from the OP before we call for anyone's head on a plate.
Quote:
Originally Posted by 007.5
Sorry but i do not agree with this, at all. A Husband is allowed to have female friends WITH HIS WIFE KNOWING FULL WELL that it is strictly platonic AND WITH HIS WIFES CONSENT . In a marriage or any committed relationship between the sexes, it demands full disclosure of such external people of the opposite sex so that trust, loyalty, integrity, and dignity can be maintained. If a Husband isnt concerned with such things for the healthy sustenance of his commitment to his wife and family, then he has crossed over the boundary line and is an untrustworthy lowlife of a Husband. Same applies to women in marriages or commited relationships ; if a person isnt going to be faithful and have integrity, then dont get yourself into a commitment expecting another to fully trust you.
Hopefully, the OP will tell us if these other women are co-workers or not ; but i suspect they are not and we have a lowlife Husband who gets the all too common Medal of Disgust.
Me and my husband have been together a little over a year and we have a 3 month old baby. My insecurities have made his life a living hell. I get jelous and nervous when he speaks too or texts other females. He's always aggrivated with me but i can't stop thinking wrong. How do i help myself not lose my husband and gain some confidence?
I think the only way is to go to a counselor who will teach you to think that you are worth something
i think that our feelings of worthlessness make us feel insecure
i would definitely have your problem if i were in your place, so I know exactly how you feel, i feel that way too, except my partner doesn't talk to other females, but I still have a problem sometimes even without that additional burden
I suspect that you're looking at a very greay area in a black and white way.
He is obviously disclosing that he's in touch with females, but we don't know if he's disclosing the information voluntarily, or if there's snooping going on.
I think we need more information from the OP before we call for anyone's head on a plate.
Agree, I have put out an appeal for the OP to give us such info . And i feel confident we are going to learn that the husband is (at a minimum) being emotionally unfaithful to his beloved wife and also child.
Even though the OP is admitting to being jealous and insecure, there will still be responsibility on the husband's behalf to modify his behaviour slightly, in order to help his wife.
He also has a responsibility to understand and empathise with her, and not to aggravate the situation.
After only a year of marriage, it could be a pretty stern test for them !
Quote:
Originally Posted by 007.5
Agree, I have put out an appeal for the OP to give us such info . And i feel confident we are going to learn that the husband is (at a minimum) being emotionally unfaithful to his beloved wife and also child.
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