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This comes from one of the other threads about a woman not pursuing a relationship with a guy cause he was a poor lover. I share these sentiments wrt woman too, so I can identify. I have cut off a relationship or two in my time because the woman thought by "Just showing up" she was a wonderful lover.
I know that some people will chime in saying this is superficial but face it when someone is bad and has no hope of improving it's not a good thing! I have a friend that says his long term girlfriend is not so good to put it kindly, but it's not that important to him.
I know, most of us guys think were great, regardless, but whats the real scoop? Is it important? Does it keep the spark going? To be fair to the guys, does the same apply? Keep it PG of course
In my experience, about 1 out of 3 new lovers really know what they are doing from the outset, in the sense that they get down to business with confidence and technique.
However, the other 2 are more fun in the long term because they are not set in their repertoire, and will adapt. One of the worst, least confident lovers I have had is now the BEST because he has always been willing to learn, listen, and try things that are new for both of us. That is so sexy to me, because he makes love to me like no one ever has, and vice versa.
This may have something to do with maturity though.
I haven't had that many sexual encounters prior to marriage, so I am basing this on my limited experience. Only couple of men I had been with REAlly knew the ART of lovemaking, while the rest were just good enough. One was terrible and didn't have any interest in improving.
Overall my impression that majority of men know the basics but only few really know how to get in tune with their partners body. A lot of it is a woman's fault and her consistent insistence on faking orgasms.
A lot has to do with how two individuals mesh with each other. Someone who may be great with one person can be awful with someone else, if they just aren't compatible. Yes, sometimes time and shared experiences will improve things, but not always. I've encountered a few who were irredeemably awful, a majority who ranged from so-so to quite good (and could usually improve at least somewhat), and a small number who could consistently rock my world (or quickly learned to).
Surely, most men have watched enough porn to have it figured out. However, many that I have
encountered just don't give a flip, they are more interested in getting their nutz off.
I think the worst lovers are the ones who think they're great. You can't teach them anything! And every woman is unique, so a guy has to be open to learning a few new moves.
I'll actually start with saying that to me - crappy sex is like crappy pizza, it's still pretty **** good
I've been married and divorced, engaged a couple times, and had some other relationships. I also had quite a few single and fun years
So how many men really know what they are doing? Not many!! That doesnt mean that it's not enjoyable... It's just that when you get someone who is AWESOME, you realize that the others are just like tofu meatballs, vs. bacon-wrapped filet mignon
But - it's all good. Be energetic, attentive, and have fun with it - all big pluses.
(numbers? 1 out of 10??)
As far as keeping a relationship going with someone who 'isnt that great,' as the relationship goes on - it usually gets much better. You get more comfortable with each other, try more things, feel more open (hopefully) - that's what i've found. If someone had serious problems performing, or really had issues, i probly WOULD cut it off before i was in love with them. If i was already in love with someone who had those problems, i would stick with them and work thru it. I think sex is an important part of the relationship (for me), but it can be worked on and discussed, and lots of things can be tried together.
The bigger a guy thinks his wang is, the less hard he seems to try. Most guys don't have a clue.
Personally I don't care as long as he doesn't expect much in return.
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