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A new co-worker seemed to show interest in me for a few months. He constantly invited me to hang out with him, took me to lunch and happy hours ocassionally and sometimes kissed my hand. I called him at his request, but then he acted like he didn't get the message and continued to put the ball in my court - telling me to call him instead of calling me. ( I never called again, of course.) I figured he wasn't interested, but I couldn't shake the crush.
A few months later I saw him on a date with one of our co-workers and I've been crushed ever since. It's been really hard to see them every day and be reminded of what happened. Our company is so small so there's no avoiding him. I asked him why he never followed through with me and he said he "likes me a lot" but "doesn't have much to offer anyone." He does have a lot on his plate but he obviously made room on it to date someone else, so I don't know if that bit about liking me is true. What's the best way to move on from this?
There is a saying that you might not be familiar with. Pardon the language, but 'don't crap where you eat'. If you are locked into a work environment where you see a person on a regular basis you just do NOT date him. That avoids hard feelings.
The guy appears to be saying, in a kind way, that he's just not into you - you know, like that book title? You're too sensitive and may be trying to rush into a relationship with whomever is there and way, way, too quickly.
Be a big girl and look for dates after hours and in different places. Allow him to date whomever he wishes. It's not your concern. Take this as a lesson of your bad judgement. Believe me, you will be hurt a lot more than this. Life tends to knock us all around a bit. Get a little toughness and also not so ready to assume an interest when there is none. It will serve you well later.
A new co-worker seemed to show interest in me for a few months. He constantly invited me to hang out with him, took me to lunch and happy hours ocassionally and sometimes kissed my hand. I called him at his request, but then he acted like he didn't get the message and continued to put the ball in my court - telling me to call him instead of calling me. ( I never called again, of course.) I figured he wasn't interested, but I couldn't shake the crush.
A few months later I saw him on a date with one of our co-workers and I've been crushed ever since. It's been really hard to see them every day and be reminded of what happened. Our company is so small so there's no avoiding him. I asked him why he never followed through with me and he said he "likes me a lot" but "doesn't have much to offer anyone." He does have a lot on his plate but he obviously made room on it to date someone else, so I don't know if that bit about liking me is true. What's the best way to move on from this?
With the "doesn't have much to offer," my guess is that was just a polite false line to keep from hurting your feelings any further. When something isn't going to happen (either after a break-up when one person is begging to know why they're being dumped, or whatever) often there's no point in getting into specifics. "You didn't look at me after I handed you the stapler and I thought that meant..." or "The way you sip soup just really grosses me out." None of those do anything to help make the situation less awkward, so a polite lie is in order.
Sounds like this guy is the office Lothario, hitting on whoever he can get to bite. Pretty risky behavior, if you ask me, though it sounds like what happened between you two was mutual and little more than flirting. So at this point, the question is what do you do? As someone else mentioned, you've learned a valuable lesson about keeping romantic feelings and office politics separate. If it's too painful to work with him, you can look for another job, but I wouldn't quit your current one until you've found something else. Just keep your nose down, do your work and don't look in his direction.
Wow. You are lucky this loser has moved on...could have been much worse, if you had stayed with him longer. You won the lottery, getting rid of that loser. What ever you did, was right!!!! Your gut knew more than yuo did...and let you do stuff to cut this loser lose....you go!!!
Feel sorry for loser's next victim, because he will move on...
And, new rule...NEVER date at work...NEVER...it is always bad news...no matter what........didn't you know that?!
A new co-worker seemed to show interest in me for a few months. He constantly invited me to hang out with him, took me to lunch and happy hours ocassionally and sometimes kissed my hand. I called him at his request, but then he acted like he didn't get the message and continued to put the ball in my court - telling me to call him instead of calling me. ( I never called again, of course.) I figured he wasn't interested, but I couldn't shake the crush.
A few months later I saw him on a date with one of our co-workers and I've been crushed ever since. It's been really hard to see them every day and be reminded of what happened. Our company is so small so there's no avoiding him. I asked him why he never followed through with me and he said he "likes me a lot" but "doesn't have much to offer anyone." He does have a lot on his plate but he obviously made room on it to date someone else, so I don't know if that bit about liking me is true. What's the best way to move on from this?
Find someone else to date and have him pick you up at work
Thanx everyone. The co-worker he's with is much older than he and I are. They're both divorced and he has a kid. A friend told me that all the lunches, happy hours, etc., was probably a way of dating me, but he may have sensed that I'm not the "fling" type. Usually someone in his situation is looking for something casual, which is probably why it works with this much older woman. Anyway, must move on!
Wow. You are lucky this loser has moved on...could have been much worse, if you had stayed with him longer. You won the lottery, getting rid of that loser. What ever you did, was right!!!! Your gut knew more than yuo did...and let you do stuff to cut this loser lose....you go!!!
Feel sorry for loser's next victim, because he will move on...
And, new rule...NEVER date at work...NEVER...it is always bad news...no matter what........didn't you know that?!
I've heard that rule of thumb, but even in the big city it's pretty hard to meet decent men that I feel compatible with. So I sensed that there was a mutual connection, got a bit excited and didn't think about where we were. But I guess you're right. Thanx!
I've heard that rule of thumb, but even in the big city it's pretty hard to meet decent men that I feel compatible with. So I sensed that there was a mutual connection, got a bit excited and didn't think about where we were. But I guess you're right. Thanx!
The best place to find "the good people" you have mentioned is not at work, simply because your income depends on your job and you don't want to risk losing it.
If you want to meet people you are compatible with, first decided what type of people you want to meet, and then go to places where such hang-out. Examples: clubs, social groups or meeting, local parks, schools, churches, restaurants, hiking, canoeing, diving, hunting, shooting, and so forth. Not your workplace
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