Dating Deal Breakers (wives, girlfriend, woman, attracted)

[JL]

Millionaire matchmaker reveals dating dealbreakers on Shine (http://shine.yahoo.com/event/poweryourfuture/millionaire-matchmaker-reveals-dating-dealbreakers-2528119/ - broken link)

Don’t look someone up on the Internet prior to your date and then discuss your findings. This is creepy. The reason why you are on a date is to learn about the other person; why bother if you are going to do your own investigation from behind the safe haven of your computer screen.
Do enjoy getting to know someone by directly asking questions about their life. But, you don’t have to learn or reveal everything on a first date! Keep an air of mystery flowing.

Don’t wear any old thing. First impressions are lasting impressions. This rule applies especially to the ladies. It may sound old fashioned, but the reality is that men are very visually oriented.

Do swap your pearls for sexier jewelry and change your work blouse to something more festive if you are meeting right after the office.

Don’t talk about past relationships. All too often, I get feedback that a client ruined a date by going on and on about his/her ex.

Do stick with upbeat, neutral topics especially on a first or second date.

Don’t continually talk about yourself. No one finds a Talking Head to be attractive.

Do ask questions and be attentive. You already know yourself, wouldn’t it be wise to learn about your date and find out what you have in common?

Don’t be a complainer. Some people habitually criticize the food, the wine, the weather, or life in general and are consequently perceived as negative and unpleasant.

Do monitor your attitude and if you can’t find something positive to say about a subject refrain from saying anything. Your date will also be watching how you treat other people in order to discover how you will treat them when you are not on best behavior.

Don’t shut down if you aren’t instantly attracted to your date. Chemistry is crucial to any relationship but your initial response can change—sometimes after only 15 minutes! By shutting down, you are sabotaging what could be a wonderful match.

Do remain engaged through the entire course of a date. If you meet someone who you think is a great person but “not your type,” meet them for a second, third, or fourth date. You may be surprised at the feelings that blossom.

Do be on best behavior.

Don’t shut down if you aren’t instantly attracted to your date. Chemistry is crucial to any relationship but your initial response can change—sometimes after only 15 minutes! By shutting down, you are sabotaging what could be a wonderful match.

Do remain engaged through the entire course of a date. If you meet someone who you think is a great person but “not your type,” meet them for a second, third, or fourth date. You may be surprised at the feelings that blossom.

[sierraAZ]

Originally Posted by JL

Chemistry is crucial to any relationship but your initial response can change—sometimes after only 15 minutes!

Not likely.

[poletop1]

Not so much dealbreakers as do's and don'ts. Sensible, I suppose

[WhipperSnapper 88]

City-Data thread

Total Turn-offs and Downright Deal-breakers

[WhipperSnapper 88]

To answer you question though, my biggest deal-breaker would have to be poor hygiene. Someone who doesn't keep themselves clean i.e. bath/shower everyday, doesn't wash hands after using restroom......

DEALBREAKER!!! DISGUSTING!!!!

[Raena77]

Deal breaker: Rude, doesn't like kids, eats with his mouth full, bossy, unkind, bad at sex, conceited, and if he is not affectionate forget it.

[mateo45]

"Don't forget, it's always all about ME! And BTW, have I told you about ME yet...?!!"

[dr74]

Directed towards the OP..
I would haveto agree that one poster stated it right..this is more do and donts and this in itself is subjective because their are some of us that are honest and do not sugar coat...

While I agree with a few particular points I must say the rest is redundant...and dare I say actually telling someone in order to have a good date and possibly more that may lead to a real relationship to almost lie and put the best face forward instead of who one really is...

I will attach an I.E of course..
I was speaking to a guy for awhile..and while he was good looking to me, he was 6'3..a totally handsome face ( to die for) he was overweight...by at least 60 pounds..yet I still found him highly attractive..smart, industrious..very sweet and emotionally competent..he was insecure about his weight and as a woman I understand this..
He did not say it outright..but he did other things that over compensated for it...
Like bragging about his career, bragging about how many countries he had been too..bragging about how he only stays in nice luxury hotels..his houseboat...his corvette and brand new dodge charger...
about all the MATERIAL wealth he has.. this is a huge turn off for me..
So one day I stated..that it did not matter to me what a man had or has accumalated..That to me as long as a man has a job and is hard working and comfortable the rest is icing..and not needed...
According to this study I should not have stated this..but I would have been lying to myself...

Also..how a man treats wait staff I cannot stand a pompous ass it is embarrassing...

But that is where my agreement ends

[SEAandATL]

There are probably a million ways to screw up your chances. One very important factor to consider is topic of conversation, as mentioned in the article. Saying the wrong thing can really ruin things. It is good to be humorous, but you have to be careful not to tell corny jokes. Last and important rule of thumb: If you have any doubts as to whether or not you should do something, DON'T DO IT (or do if its something you feel you should do).

[missik999]

Smoking, and poor hygiene are instant deal breakers for me. Poor grammar is a real turn-off.

Also, a person who constantly complains about his former wife or girlfriend. I actually meant a guy once who told me right up front that he had been divorced three times. Then he launched into an explaination, even though I hadn't asked. He said, "Now my first divorce, it was my wife's fault. The second time, it was my wife's fault. And the third divorce was my wife's fault too."

So maybe this guy was extremely poor at choosing wives but I wasn't interested in dating him.