Men with unrealistic standards (long-term, loving, husband, older)

[Prince_Frog]

Originally Posted by suissegrl702

My whole point with this thread is unrealistic standards. Allow me to elaborate further.

I started working out for health reasons. Did not like where my health was going. At 24, I had enough brain matter (this was before I worked out) and common sense to know that I offered almost nothing to a man who was a 10, because I did not work out and I did not like meeting people. A social butterfly I was not. And I was very overweight (technically obese) at that time. Most of the men I've met who are 10's slave away at a gym or they are very outdoorsy. If they are not one of those two, then they are thin and well built because they work outside for a living (such as in construction building houses). But these men do something to keep the beer gut away, and I'm going to assume that it takes time and effort to do so. It also takes effort for a man to learn how to dress well, read books regularly and remain cultured, and all the characteristics that make a man a 10. Only part of it, IMHO, is genetic. I had enough common sense, at that age, to realize that a man like that is not going to want to date someone who would freak out about bugs while hiking, hates sleeping in a tent, and refuses to deny self excessive quantities of Twinkies to get thinner. Why would a man who works out regularly want to be with a woman who cannot go out for a leisurely stroll at night with the dog without passing out (and yes, I've met people of both genders who cannot walk longer than a mile)? What would such a woman offer to a man who is a 10? Intellect?

So...on the flip side...why is it okay for a man to chase a woman who is a 10 if he is average? Because I'm here to tell you, that being a 10 for a woman is also only partly genetic. Chances are, if that woman is over 18, she slaves away in a gym or does some sort of outdoor activity to stay thin enough to where men find her attractive. If not, she'll probably balloon out in her 30's when her metabolism slows down. Women are not any more genetically inclined to a perfect hip ratio and/or flat stomach any more than men are. And in addition, she must look great-- a hippie that is thin is gross, because she doesn't shave, for instance, so a woman must invest in makeup and hair products, and hair cuts, and pedicures, and nice clothing that doesn't look like it came from Wally World, but must also be careful not to look like a s*** or high maintenance. And she must have brains and be cultured in addition to being hot. So...why would a woman who is a 10 want to date a man who is not? What does he offer her? Unless he's rich and can afford to buy her Hermes handbags until he dies, not much.

I don't get why this concept is so hard for people to learn. Even my parents generation doesn't get why my generation and the one before it (Gen X) have their heads so far in their clouds when it comes to the opposite sex. And people's heads are very, very far up in the clouds.

As I've been working out, I've seen the point of view of those who also work out who won't settle a lot more. I mean, what is a sedentary guy who never goes outdoors going to offer me? Acid reflux and obesity? No thanks, I'll pass.




Quit making me laugh!

Of the few thing I'm good at, making people laugh is something I am pretty good at doing. Even if it's words on a forum.

[Mikala43]

Do you think there should be League Police or something?

"Hey you!!! Stop talking to that 8, you're only a 6!"

What happens if you're both 7s, but do to child birth the woman gets lowered to a 5, until she loses the baby weight?

If I'm a 6 when I wake up in the morning, but become an 8 after I get ready - who do I date?!?

I just don't understand why you care or feel your judgements should count in other peoples lives. It takes all my attention to run my own, I can't spent time worrying about who has a right date who.

[NotARedneck]

Originally Posted by Ron.

In addition.........most guys that I know don't go after women to the purpose of hoping that their friends approve of them. I think a lot of women give a damn about what their friends think about the person they are involved with.

Certainly more true. However, if a guy is with a woman who is really ugly or obese, he knows that other men are saying nasty things. Sometimes they will even say it to his face. Most men just don't talk much about their relationships.

However, this is a far cry from where women must ether have a guy who has the looks and money to impress their girlfriends or is willing to go for a loser who pisses off her parents. This they obsess about.

[NotARedneck]

Originally Posted by NotARedneck
I thought that successful women couldn't get a date.

Originally Posted by miyu

There might be some truth to that for some successful women. I've noticed that many go dateless for awhile, but then fast-track to marriage. I think it's a time management issue but perhaps also an intimidation issue.

The story, endlessly spun in the MSM, is that "successful" women cannot find men who are good enough for them to marry. They usually profile some senior woman executive (a VP but not in "Corporate Relations" since that is usually reserved for hot types in their late 20s, employed to distract the press) who can't find a CEO to marry.

My experience is that the women at my level, usually married up a step or two - say a doctor (specialist) or a partner in a law firm. This gave them the opportunity to retire when they've had kids, since they were only foregoing 30% or less of the family's income.

I worked for a woman like that and was sad to see her go. Perhaps her relaxed attitude (that got the best out of me) was because she had no long term plans there.

[NotARedneck]

Originally Posted by Mikala43

What happens if you're both 7s?

That's easy. Hypergamy tells us that she'll settle for no less than a 9.

Once she has declined to a 5, she may decide to settle and contact the 7 again to see if he's taken.

[WakaFlocka]

I don't look at numbers. I'd gladly date an average looking woman, and this is coming from a well above average looking guy. Then again, am I in the minority?

[Mikala43]

Originally Posted by NotARedneck

That's easy. Hypergamy tells us that she'll settle for no less than a 9.

Once she has declined to a 5, she may decide to settle and contact the 7 again to see if he's taken.

Honestly, I think y'all are nuts.

[wordlife]

Originally Posted by WakaFlocka

I don't look at numbers. I'd gladly date an average looking woman, and this is coming from a well above average looking guy. Then again, am I in the minority?

could you pound a butterface and still be alright with it?

[WakaFlocka]

Originally Posted by wordlife

could you pound a butterface and still be alright with it?

Sure. I don't need to date a 10.

[calicali01]

Originally Posted by wakaflocka

most men are realistic. Most don't expect to get the maxim model. The majority of women from what i've seen think they deserve the highly desirable male and have no problem sharing him. Men don't fight over a woman like women do over a man.

+1