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Old 08-27-2011, 01:44 AM
 
Location: In my view finder.....
8,521 posts, read 13,543,726 times
Reputation: 8079

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Here are some of the "profiles" for one dating website that I am using:


***************START*******************(6 different profile snipit's)


"I REALLY DONT WANNA DEAL WITH CHEATERS,LIERS,DRUGGIES,FELONS,GUYS WHO HAVE NO JOB OR CANT HOLD A JOB, DONT HAVE A LISCENSE OR CAR, ABUSE WOMAN PHYSICALLY OR EMOTIONALLY,OR NEED MONEY...BEEN THERE DONE THAT WONT GO BACK FOR ME OR MY KIDS"

~~~~~~~
Now for the really important things u need to know...I have no interest in being a one night stand...I have way too much class to be treated like a good time girl.

Players...you need not apply..if all you desire is another notch...I am not interested.

Married or seperated...DO NOT contact me!!!!!!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


UPDATE.......Please be real cuz i am! Look guy's i want attention if you can't give it cause your too busy, maybe you should't be on this site! Read my profile, Looking to settle down and marriage! If that's NOT U Please don't contact me.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I am a single mom and my son comes first in my life.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I am a BIG beautiful woman. If you can't handle a BIG woman, then you are not the one for me.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

* side note... please... if you cant be honest... and real... just pass me by please. SOOO tired of the headgames and lies.

* side note #2... sad that I have to do this... but after being on the site for a few weeks..... PLEASE if all you want to do is tell me you think I am hot... just dont bother. I want and deserve more than that.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Guys sorry I don't IM. it takes alot of time. If I find u worth my time after a few messages, then maybe we will. But, I don't really have the time.

********** THE END****************************



Ok, that's only a few posts that I came across and I had to shake my head.

If your dating profile is supposed to be used to sell yourself to a potential mate, why waste the space with such a "demanding tone". Nothing about the above show's the feminine side of the women that the profiles belong to.

No, this is not meant to be a attack on women just a heads up. Leave all of the drama off of the profiles.

It does not matter if you write: "NO PLAYAS PLEASE". Do you think that's going to stop them from contacting you? No. So why waste time saying it?

I do believe that a lot of good guys get turned off by the above "profiles".
Since I am a man, I can only say MANY women do a darn good job at running good guys away.


PLEASE do not misunderstand what I am saying, YES< I KNOW the same applies to men. I don't date men therefore I created this thread as a heads up for BOTH GENDERS.


******
PLEASE DISCUSS, NOT DEBATE*****

Last edited by Ron.; 08-27-2011 at 02:43 AM..
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Old 08-27-2011, 02:02 AM
 
1,846 posts, read 2,639,729 times
Reputation: 2489
Directed towards the OP..

I am here to discuss however you need to know in order to discuss at times friendly debate must come to pass since you have differing points of views stating personal point of views and personal experiences..a friendly debate should always be encouraged since it gets people thinking...


In regards to your thread? I agree with the redundancy...However this is prevalant in women and mens profiles..I have stated this before..

1. No long huge dissertation is needed...you want to leave something for the other person to get to know.
2. Stating that someones child comes first SHOULD be a given and the fact that having children is on ones profile already tells the person whether they choose to get to know someone or not..A given CHILDREN always come first..please spare the obvious..

3. Stating a short profile and adding no players? Is honest..It does not mean that people will not contact but they have been forewarned..period and end of story...

4. Women whom state that they want a man who has a job or no prison record? Is usually a woman who has modified their profile and has experience and felt she needed to state it..It is not negative..it is stating deal breakers..Noone is tying the mans hand behind his back and making him reply..If he fits the stat? Then he has been forewarned and it is NEXT..TO a woman who may be more tolerant of such short comings..

In all honesty? Some men can be as ridiculous..

* I am a 35 year old male, divorced and have custody of my 4 children..yes I said it ..full custody..My kids are my life..I work hard so I can play harder ( lmao what does this really mean?)
I work out 4-5 days a week and expect to find someone whom does so as well* Really? You have full custody of 4 kids, work hard and work out 4-5 times a week yet in your pic it shows doughy and soft?

* I am a single white male, 36, never been married..just havent found the right one...lol..I am looking for goodtimes and fun that follows along the lines* Again really?

* I am a 38 year old male not single not looking..looking for a hot lady down with discreet fun..If you dont tell I wont* lmao...


NEXT...
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Old 08-27-2011, 02:26 AM
 
Location: In my view finder.....
8,521 posts, read 13,543,726 times
Reputation: 8079
Hi,

I stated discuss not debate because I don't want this thread to get closed.

If you have anything else to say about the issue, I ask that you send me a private message. I DO NOT want this thread to get off track.


I'd appreciate it,

Ron


Quote:
Originally Posted by dr74 View Post
Directed towards the OP..

I am here to discuss however you need to know in order to discuss at times friendly debate must come to pass since you have differing points of views stating personal point of views and personal experiences..a friendly debate should always be encouraged since it gets people thinking...


In regards to your thread? I agree with the redundancy...However this is prevalant in women and mens profiles..I have stated this before..

1. No long huge dissertation is needed...you want to leave something for the other person to get to know.
2. Stating that someones child comes first SHOULD be a given and the fact that having children is on ones profile already tells the person whether they choose to get to know someone or not..A given CHILDREN always come first..please spare the obvious..

3. Stating a short profile and adding no players? Is honest..It does not mean that people will not contact but they have been forewarned..period and end of story...

4. Women whom state that they want a man who has a job or no prison record? Is usually a woman who has modified their profile and has experience and felt she needed to state it..It is not negative..it is stating deal breakers..Noone is tying the mans hand behind his back and making him reply..If he fits the stat? Then he has been forewarned and it is NEXT..TO a woman who may be more tolerant of such short comings..

In all honesty? Some men can be as ridiculous..

* I am a 35 year old male, divorced and have custody of my 4 children..yes I said it ..full custody..My kids are my life..I work hard so I can play harder ( lmao what does this really mean?)
I work out 4-5 days a week and expect to find someone whom does so as well* Really? You have full custody of 4 kids, work hard and work out 4-5 times a week yet in your pic it shows doughy and soft?

* I am a single white male, 36, never been married..just havent found the right one...lol..I am looking for goodtimes and fun that follows along the lines* Again really?

* I am a 38 year old male not single not looking..looking for a hot lady down with discreet fun..If you dont tell I wont* lmao...


NEXT...
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Old 08-27-2011, 04:42 AM
 
10,996 posts, read 11,134,963 times
Reputation: 8355
I think that whatever she has to say regarding the SUBJECT should be said HERE. People need to hear other's opinions regarding their profiles. I don't have any profiles, but many people sit and wonder why nobody contacts them, and maybe they will learn why that is by listening to constructive advice. Great thread, btw.
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Old 08-27-2011, 05:59 AM
 
Location: St. Louis
9,457 posts, read 16,404,322 times
Reputation: 13154
Well the poor lady with the side notes sounded awfully tired and the guys can really wear a poor girl out with their nonsense. Even women my age get stupid stuff like a 27 yo from two states over popping in with an IM wanting to know my bra size. I mean, really? And then you get a bunch of those and hardly anyone who is seriously wanting to date, so I dropped my account because of it. BTW, I didn't post any warnings of what I'm not willing to date so I have no idea if it would have made a difference or not.

I'll say this to the nice guys though--you truly have no idea how idiotic some men can be with us b/c you don't act that way--you may have caught brief glimpses of it from your buds in high school but some, no many, guys never grow up. All you see is the result--a lot of burned out and suspicious women and you think we're just being biotchy, when really we've been put on the defensive.
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Old 08-27-2011, 09:03 AM
 
23,902 posts, read 31,123,865 times
Reputation: 28539
As someone that has many years of experience with online dating, I think I've seen it all...or maybe most of it.

Many people get very tired of the crap that some people dish (and that is true for online AND off) so they try to do more filtering by announcing those frustrations in their profile. There are ways to do that,you just have to use a little thought when putting that into words. I don't remember my match profile exactly, but I certainly had some "filters" included. I had something like "My goal is a serious committed relationship. If you are one of the many here that are that prefer something "less complicated", I assure you that I am not your gal." It probably took several months after I started using match to realize that I needed to include such a statement. It worked well for me, and in fact, it I never found any occasion to remove that from my profile, and I consider my experiences to be very successful.

Last edited by ChessieMom; 08-27-2011 at 09:45 AM..
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Old 08-27-2011, 09:40 AM
 
Location: Emerald Coast, FL
5,216 posts, read 7,922,720 times
Reputation: 8412
Negative statements seldom work to attract good people. They don't usually deter the people they're targeted to, and may even encourage those who see it as a challenge or game to get past your filters. My experience has been that putting things in positive terms encourages positive people and positive responses. I will immediately skip a profile that seems negative, desperate, defensive, or angry, as I don't want that kind of person in my life.
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Old 08-27-2011, 09:45 AM
 
1,248 posts, read 1,832,801 times
Reputation: 1237
Quote:
Originally Posted by TaoistDude View Post
Negative statements seldom work to attract good people. They don't usually deter the people they're targeted to, and may even encourage those who see it as a challenge or game to get past your filters. My experience has been that putting things in positive terms encourages positive people and positive responses. I will immediately skip a profile that seems negative, desperate, defensive, or angry, as I don't want that kind of person in my life.
It is just a dumb strategy. Tell people about yourself (what you like, are interested in, any sense of humor, personality, preferences, whatever applies). Do not start off with an annoying, atrociously misspelled rant on how you hate druggies, liars, the unemployed, etc. and how you need attention. This person sounds very irritating and nobody has a clue what she likes or likes to do, who she is as a person, just a diva list.
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Old 08-27-2011, 10:29 AM
 
Location: Southern California
3,115 posts, read 6,987,397 times
Reputation: 3657
Quote:
Originally Posted by TaoistDude View Post
Negative statements seldom work to attract good people.
I agree. But you know what? Whenever I've put up a profile I've gotten WAY TOO MANY responses. It's overwhelming to be hit with over 100 responses in less than 24 hours. And that kind of response rate is not uncommon for a woman.

And then when you open the replies, and it's clear that many of the men haven't even read your profile? And there's no way in hell they'd be interested in you if they had read it?

I don't blame the women quoted above for using their headline or opening paragraphs to try and filter out some of the men who would otherwise respond to them. Personally I would never add a statement like that to my ad, but I do understand why some women do it.

You catch more flies with honey than vinegar, sure. But if you've already got too many flies buzzing around, you may find the vinegar useful!

The real question isn't why do some women resort to negative statements to try and filter out men who aren't right for them, but instead... why do so many men contact absolutely every woman who places an ad, even the ones that are clearly not a good fit? That seems like total madness to me!
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Old 08-27-2011, 10:35 AM
 
9,018 posts, read 7,946,526 times
Reputation: 14414
Quote:
Originally Posted by dr74 View Post
Directed towards the OP..

I am here to discuss however you need to know in order to discuss at times friendly debate must come to pass since you have differing points of views stating personal point of views and personal experiences..a friendly debate should always be encouraged since it gets people thinking...


In regards to your thread? I agree with the redundancy...However this is prevalant in women and mens profiles..I have stated this before..

1. No long huge dissertation is needed...you want to leave something for the other person to get to know.
2. Stating that someones child comes first SHOULD be a given and the fact that having children is on ones profile already tells the person whether they choose to get to know someone or not..A given CHILDREN always come first..please spare the obvious..

3. Stating a short profile and adding no players? Is honest..It does not mean that people will not contact but they have been forewarned..period and end of story...

4. Women whom state that they want a man who has a job or no prison record? Is usually a woman who has modified their profile and has experience and felt she needed to state it..It is not negative..it is stating deal breakers..Noone is tying the mans hand behind his back and making him reply..If he fits the stat? Then he has been forewarned and it is NEXT..TO a woman who may be more tolerant of such short comings..

In all honesty? Some men can be as ridiculous..

* I am a 35 year old male, divorced and have custody of my 4 children..yes I said it ..full custody..My kids are my life..I work hard so I can play harder ( lmao what does this really mean?)
I work out 4-5 days a week and expect to find someone whom does so as well* Really? You have full custody of 4 kids, work hard and work out 4-5 times a week yet in your pic it shows doughy and soft?

* I am a single white male, 36, never been married..just havent found the right one...lol..I am looking for goodtimes and fun that follows along the lines* Again really?

* I am a 38 year old male not single not looking..looking for a hot lady down with discreet fun..If you dont tell I wont* lmao...


NEXT...
Yes You've reminded me why I just will never ever consider the online dating games. The b.s. I've read years ago (never joined) turned me off totally. I just don't relate to guys that post they're looking for a good time; & many of their posts just seem so contrived. I think online dating is way overrated, but to each his own
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