Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
hopefully she read between the lines... if I liked her enough, I would tell her that I like her and see if she was interested...
there was no need for any "reading between the lines" on anyone's part here because we were both quite honest with each other from the get go. to her credit she didn't string me along and has always been clear about her intentions, however it was my hope (and yes, lust ) that blinded me to the truth.
i made it very clear to her from the moment we met that i wanted to date her. she's visiting here for 3 months and mentioned to me that she has a BF but they're taking a break and are not sure if they'll be getting back together when she returns. i took this as a sign that she was open to things - she even told me one time while we were hanging out that she would maybe hook up with a guy or two while she is here.
on the very first date i tried making out with her as well. at the time she told me "at this moment i am only looking for friends". back then (this was 2 wks ago) i felt that i was moving too fast and should build up to it, however having hung out with her a couple times since then (and repeatedly offering to take her back to my place ) i realize that she just doesn't see me that way and any more time spent pursuing her would be a waste.
last night at 3 am she called me when she was **** drunk from a bar after her friends had left to return home. i was on my way home from hanging out with my buddy and i'll admit the first thought that popped into my head was "this is a booty call, we're totally gonna hook up". of course it was not to be. i have no idea why she did it because after i got there we hung out for a little bit and then she was like "i want to get in a cab and go home now". that kinda pissed me off.
but anyway. i believe i acted in my best interests. she is stunning and being in NYC i have no doubt she'll have plenty of suitors. its just unfortunate that i won't be one of them
there was no need for any "reading between the lines" on anyone's part here because we were both quite honest with each other from the get go. to her credit she didn't string me along and has always been clear about her intentions, however it was my hope (and yes, lust ) that blinded me to the truth.
i made it very clear to her from the moment we met that i wanted to date her. she's visiting here for 3 months and mentioned to me that she has a BF but they're taking a break and are not sure if they'll be getting back together when she returns. i took this as a sign that she was open to things - she even told me one time while we were hanging out that she would maybe hook up with a guy or two while she is here.
on the very first date i tried making out with her as well. at the time she told me "at this moment i am only looking for friends". back then (this was 2 wks ago) i felt that i was moving too fast and should build up to it, however having hung out with her a couple times since then (and repeatedly offering to take her back to my place ) i realize that she just doesn't see me that way and any more time spent pursuing her would be a waste.
last night at 3 am she called me when she was **** drunk from a bar after her friends had left to return home. i was on my way home from hanging out with my buddy and i'll admit the first thought that popped into my head was "this is a booty call, we're totally gonna hook up". of course it was not to be. i have no idea why she did it because after i got there we hung out for a little bit and then she was like "i want to get in a cab and go home now". that kinda pissed me off.
but anyway. i believe i acted in my best interests. she is stunning and being in NYC i have no doubt she'll have plenty of suitors. its just unfortunate that i won't be one of them
You did the right thing. You have no business ever bothering with this tease anymore.
i can't do it. i just texted a beeeeaautiful spanish girl i met a few weeks ago here in NYC (that LJBF'ed me) the following:
It's really hard for me to be friends with someone I'm attracted to. It's emasculating. I don't think I can see you anymore and I hope you understand. Wish you the best. Goodbye.
she txted back saying 'it's OK i understand. thanks for everything.'
IMHO i did The Right Thing™. what do you guys say?
I can as long as I have a good looking g/f.
Heck, I can use that beautiful that rejected me to get to her friends and the cut her off.
i can't do it. i just texted a beeeeaautiful spanish girl i met a few weeks ago here in NYC (that LJBF'ed me) the following:
It's really hard for me to be friends with someone I'm attracted to. It's emasculating. I don't think I can see you anymore and I hope you understand. Wish you the best. Goodbye.
she txted back saying 'it's OK i understand. thanks for everything.'
IMHO i did The Right Thing™. what do you guys say?
i can't do it. i just texted a beeeeaautiful spanish girl i met a few weeks ago here in NYC (that LJBF'ed me) the following:
It's really hard for me to be friends with someone I'm attracted to. It's emasculating. I don't think I can see you anymore and I hope you understand. Wish you the best. Goodbye.
she txted back saying 'it's OK i understand. thanks for everything.'
IMHO i did The Right Thing™. what do you guys say?
Yeah, I feel the same way. I would have worded the text a little differently, like saying I can't be friends with her because I will always want something more. I would have left out the "It's emasculating" part. I don't like being in the Friend Zone with someone I'm attracted to because all I will end up feeling is frustration, jealousy, and disappointment.
If you had feelings for this woman - then that's one thing.
But if not... and yet you chose to cut her out of your life - it's a loss... for you.
Extremely attractive women are human beings. They smell, fart, burp, feel, have insecurities, etc. Sure, some are marked by entitlement issues - but I've met plenty of women who were unattractive and yet they felt they were princesses.
There is no problem having an attractive woman as a friend. If she's sensible, smart, has good character, and is willing to be a good and fair friend to you as you are to her - what's the big deal?
Lines can get crossed, you say? One developing unreturned feelings for the other? Sure, it can happen. But does this happen only when the lady friend is highly attractive? Can it not happen with not-so-beautiful lady friends? Sure it can.
EDIT: I read the subsequent posts... in this case you are probably better off away from her, since I missed the LJBF part and how she had a boyfriend. Get a woman who is more clear on what she wants and who has no pending, unresolved boyfriend situations.
The title of this post is a little misleading. I thought at first that it was about just being friends with a woman who is insanely attractive. To that I would say, a real man doesn't consider every woman to be a potential bedmate.
But this is a woman who basically wasn't interested in you from the get-go. She was pretty clear on the matter from the onset and didn't give you any buying signals. The fact is that you chose to ignore all that and pressed ahead. Yeah, she was drunk in a bar after being abandoned by her friends. Maybe she just was sad about it all and wasn't having very good judgment. After all, how many of us have done stupid things when we overindulged?
So now that you're empty handed after this entire episode, you decide to break things off, if it can be called that, friendship and all. What's more, you didn't even have the basic class or cojones to do it in person or over the phone. You texted it, which has to be the most socially retarded way ever to do something like that. Really? A text?
What's more, you actually might have hosed yourself. She liked you enough and trusted you enough to call you when she was in her cups. That tells me a lot about what she's thinking about you, namely that she might have been changing her mind. If you had had a microgram of patience, she might have come around. But now she just thinks you're a jerk and probably thinks she dodged a bullet.
You did the wrong thing. Even if God himself has written that it is never meant to be you 'should' have dealt with it more like a gentleman.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
) that blinded me to the truth.
