Teen sex and respect (boyfriends, girlfriends, guys, husband)
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Well, except that Juliet was still supervised by her Nurse. And I'm not sure they'd be the icons for good decision-making, anyway.
Being capable of "falling in love" is not necessarily a good yardstick for having sex, anymore than being physiologically able to procreate and liking babies makes you a good parent.
There's a reason it's considered one of Shakespeare's tragedies.
I get all of that. But like the OP said, she's not advocating that young teens have sex and neither am I. I believe that her point is that many times it is assumed that young teens having sex involves a lack of respect on the part of the boy for the girl, or the girl for herself. But that is not necessarily the case--in some instances they love each other and want to have sex just like 25-year-olds who love each other want to have sex.
That doesn't make it a good idea, but it also doesn't mean that he's a user and/or she's a ****.
There is this idea that if two teens have sex then:
1. The boy doesn't respect the girl
or
2. The girl doesn't respect herself
Do you agree with these statements?
No, but it is possible for two people to have sex without having respect for each other. For example, one was persuaded to have sex.
As far as the girl not respecting herself, that could mean that the girl is using sex to gain respect. That could be a sign of low expectations for the boy she is having sex with. In a way, she doesn't respect him because she has low expectations.
No, but it is possible for two people to have sex without having respect for each other. For example, one was persuaded to have sex.
As far as the girl not respecting herself, that could mean that the girl is using sex to gain respect. That could be a sign of low expectations for the boy she is having sex with. In a way, she doesn't respect him because she has low expectations.
I agree that there can be times when sexual activity happens without respect. I just don't think that sex among older teens is an absolute show of disrespect.
Interesting...having raised a son and a daughter, I have learned that
Boys are pigs and it's all their fault Girls are sl*ts and it's all their fault.
Basically, whatever type of child someone has, it's the fault of the other one if someone's little darling makes a decision that a parent does not care for and just "knows" that their child would never do without the influence of someone else's child.
Girls need to take responsibility for their own sexuality. They can say no. After that, it's a legal issue if the boys don't comply, and my sons have certainly heard that talk.
You do realize that even if a girl says yes and she is underage the boy can be charged with statutory rape ?
I have to disagree with Mattie on one point. If the teens are in love it's usually one sided. The boy might use pressure on the girl telling her he loves her and if she loved him she would give him some. Take my word for it. When a teen boy is going in for the kill, love has nothing to do with it because the little head has hijacked all thinking from the big head.
The issue of respect comes up after the dirty deed is done and it turns out the boy was just using the girl and dumps her shortly after.
As a guy (was a teen once myself too), I would agree with much of this. Boys have a physical pressure that drives them and these days there is not much in the way of societal or moral pressure for them to control their urges. In fact the opposite. They are encouraged to be selfish.
Now I do not think that teen love is one sided. I think both are genuinely "in lust". But after sex, I suspect the boy feels OK done that, what's next. or who's next.
back to the OP
Quote:
Originally Posted by Momma_bear
I have read many threads on this forum about teen sex and one theme keeps repeating itself. There is this idea that if two teens have sex then:
1. The boy doesn't respect the girl
or
2. The girl doesn't respect herself
Do you agree with these statements?
I don't agree with the two statements. My suspicion is that although some girls may have sex to somehow bolster their self esteem, most I suspect would already have good self esteem and self respect. I think boys in general love / lust the girls.
Quote:
<snip>
. Why is it considered disrespectful to have sex with someone at age 17-19 but not at 25?
I think the idea is to do with maturity and the ability to make your own decisions and take responsibility for the outcomes.
And also to protect I would suggest under age often naive girls from afre mentioned men who are driven by the 'little head'
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