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Old 09-01-2011, 03:31 PM
 
Location: Brooklyn, New York
16,757 posts, read 9,271,911 times
Reputation: 5805
Quote:
Originally Posted by Cindy_Jole View Post
If women were sex-obsessed creatures and only desire that in a mate, then sure it's easier for women.

What about the majority of women who don't think sex is the ultimate goal that one can achieve? How do they benefit from this "sexual market"?
You, as well as some of the others, have a rather hard-lined position. It goes something like this:

Women ONLY want relationships. Men ONLY want sex.

That's not true. Men develop feelings for women and want to have relationships with those women. In case you didn't know, men fall in love too; women don't have a monopoly on that emotion. On the flipside, women get horny for guys and want to bonk their brains out. They don't dream about marrying every guy they bonk. Sometimes all a woman wants is a good roll in the hay.

In the real world, there are men who want to have intimate relationships with women. Some of these guys can't get that relationship AND they can't get sex when they're hard up. If a woman can't find Mr. Right, and one night finds herself incredibly horny, all it takes is a text message for Mr. Studmuffin to come right over and lace her down with some good lovin.

That's why the average woman has it better. If you pretend like sex, or the lack thereof, is of absolutely no consequence to the average woman, then you're either lying or delusional.

Sex isn't the "ultimate goal" for most women and men. But in the absence of a soulmate whose eyes you can stare into for hours on end, it's not bad to have multiple offers for a casual roll in the hay.

In summary:

Sex + No Love + No Soulmate > No Sex + No Love + No Soulmate

Last edited by BajanYankee; 09-01-2011 at 03:39 PM..
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Old 09-01-2011, 06:36 PM
 
326 posts, read 461,243 times
Reputation: 306
Quote:
Originally Posted by BajanYankee View Post

Sex + No Love + No Soulmate > No Sex + No Love + No Soulmate
True...No arguments there.

Joe Schmoe can get sex if he aggressively pursues sex(Many approaches).
I guess it's natures way of leveling things out. Men hunt..women nest.
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Old 09-02-2011, 01:26 AM
 
4,838 posts, read 5,034,968 times
Reputation: 2902
Quote:
Originally Posted by BKSnook View Post
In the dating world it would be hard for both, but harder for Joe Schmoe. Reason being HE IS JOE SCHMOE and Joe Schmoes don't just go to the gym, take up new hobbies, try to expand their career horizons, dress better and groom well. If he had the drive or want to do that, he would not be called an average Joe. Many guys would be lucky to have the average Jane - a decently looking, cute girl with a good job and a few hobbies.

In life, Joe definitely gets the short-end of the stick. Joe Schmoe is the exact guy who gets pushed around in the office, overlooked for promotions and has no real drive to work his way up the career ladder. He is simply content with being average.
Quote:
Originally Posted by WhyShouldIWorry View Post
Another one of the 1000s of posts on this site where it is all (and always) the man's fault! It's a good thing we men have broad shoulders.

If a guy reversed your post, it would have dozens of the "regulars" running for the moderator!

Let's just say that my experience differs considerably from yours. When men realize that they are going nowhere with women, they normally find other interests. They've generally done what they can with the other attributes but it is pointless to knock one's head against the wall, trying to be something that you aren't.

Joe Schmoe is not good looking, slick or shallow and never will be. Women should get over this, stop blaming him and go after men who are.
Quote:
Originally Posted by BKSnook View Post
There's not one point in my post that degrades women, or even negatively speaks of them. The main focus point of it was to talk about the Joe Schmoe - I have nothing against plain Jane.

I'm actually someone who sticks up for women on these forums, so before you point the stick at me, please do your research. Thanks.

And to be honest, I'm not sure how your response to my post is relevant to any part of my post. If you'd like to respond in a more coherent and sensible way, I'd be happy to respond to that.
Read the bolded part of your message and then re-read WhyShouldIWorry's response. In my view, he's spot on. He's not saying that you degrade women. It's that instead you run down men by generalizing about their reasons for failure. The single men that I know have moved on and definitely found other interests. They do the best with the other things but once a man realizes that his chances are slim, it is difficult to really put a lot of effort into things that do nothing for him.
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Old 09-02-2011, 05:30 AM
 
Location: The Hall of Justice
20,893 posts, read 18,480,776 times
Reputation: 29263
Apparently, East is East, and West is West, and ne'er the twain shall meet.
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Old 09-02-2011, 05:35 AM
 
1,592 posts, read 1,643,638 times
Reputation: 2065
I take it back...Joe Schmoe has it worse. This society hates males.
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Old 09-02-2011, 06:57 AM
 
1,119 posts, read 965,675 times
Reputation: 1200
Quote:
Originally Posted by NotARedneck View Post
Read the bolded part of your message and then re-read WhyShouldIWorry's response. In my view, he's spot on. He's not saying that you degrade women. It's that instead you run down men by generalizing about their reasons for failure. The single men that I know have moved on and definitely found other interests. They do the best with the other things but once a man realizes that his chances are slim, it is difficult to really put a lot of effort into things that do nothing for him.
I'm not running down men by generalizing their reasons for failure - I'm pointing out how the average Joe does not try to improve himself for both women and his own well-being - and then whines about his failures.

Far too many men in real life and on these forums complain about their lack of success with women, but don't take the measures needed to get better. Self-improvement is not being forced onto any unlucky guy - but if you aren't willing to become a better man, then please don't blame the women for wanting a more desirable man.

Believe me, I'm not knocking down all men. Just the ones who feel entitled that they should be getting women and should not have to put any effort into it.

If they realize their chances are slim, give up and do other things - then more women for the rest of us guys who are trying to be the best man for the women out there. And you wonder why girls complain they can't find a decent man..
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Old 09-02-2011, 08:20 AM
 
Location: Brooklyn, New York
16,757 posts, read 9,271,911 times
Reputation: 5805
Quote:
Originally Posted by BKSnook View Post
Far too many men in real life and on these forums complain about their lack of success with women, but don't take the measures needed to get better. Self-improvement is not being forced onto any unlucky guy - but if you aren't willing to become a better man, then please don't blame the women for wanting a more desirable man.
See...I don't think that's the chief complaint. I think what guys complain about mostly is that you have a very few guys hogging damn near all of the chicks in their prime years. Modern-day dating for men is the equivalent of unbridled capitalism, where there are a few "Fat Cats" and an impoverished proletariat. Feast or famine is the game. What Joe Schmoes are upset about is that the Plain Janes are not even an option for them. And that's because they're all a part of Mr. Varsity's harem (knowingly or unknowingly). Granted, most women do not want to share a man, but they'd much rather share a high status man with several other women than have a low status man all to themselves.
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Old 09-02-2011, 08:27 AM
 
399 posts, read 344,044 times
Reputation: 387
BajanYankee, my life experience responds quite faithfully to the dating scene that you have described here. And some of my friends think the same. As Joe Schmoe, I've often been rejected by Plain Janes, while watching how all these women always ended going for the same guys. And no matter how hard one tries. No matter how much you improve as a person. None of it ever seems enough for women. Not even for Plain Jane.
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Old 09-02-2011, 08:35 AM
 
Location: Emerald Coast, FL
4,437 posts, read 3,749,703 times
Reputation: 6881
Quote:
Originally Posted by BajanYankee View Post
See...I don't think that's the chief complaint. I think what guys complain about mostly is that you have a very few guys hogging damn near all of the chicks in their prime years. Modern-day dating for men is the equivalent of unbridled capitalism, where there are a few "Fat Cats" and an impoverished proletariat. Feast or famine is the game. What Joe Schmoes are upset about is that the Plain Janes are not even an option for them. And that's because they're all a part of Mr. Varsity's harem (knowingly or unknowingly). Granted, most women do not want to share a man, but they'd much rather share a high status man with several other women than have a low status man all to themselves.
This is one of the reasons why society has usually attempted to impose monogamy - so that everyone has a chance at a relationship, thereby reducing civil unrest. Rather than a few happy alpha males and a mass of unhappy beta males, everyone has a chance at being unhappy! It's not a bad system, but it was imposed too rigidly in the past, which many people seem to pine for or agitate for from a narrow religious agenda. I think we're in a transition to a more flexible society with women gaining greater equality and influencing the whole dynamic. Men are going to have to adapt too.
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Old 09-02-2011, 08:36 AM
 
1,119 posts, read 965,675 times
Reputation: 1200
Quote:
Originally Posted by BajanYankee View Post
See...I don't think that's the chief complaint. I think what guys complain about mostly is that you have a very few guys hogging damn near all of the chicks in their prime years.

Modern-day dating for men is the equivalent of unbridled capitalism, where there are a few Fat Cats and an impoverished proletariat. Feast or famine is the game. What Joe Schmoes are upset about is that the Plain Janes are not even an option for them. They're all gladly and willingly a part of Mr. Varsity's harem. Granted, most women do not want to share a man, but they'd much rather share a high status with several other women than have a low status man all to themselves.
Yes you are correct to some extent.

The only thing I'm going to say is -- you're right that Joe Schmoes aren't an option for Plain Janes...

...but the Joe Schmoes should not complain about this and feel helpless. If they had the passion to be better than "average Joe" and put in a little effort, they would be suddenly catapulted from the Joe Schmoe world into the world of desirable men.

Once they leave the Joe Schmoe world, like we've agreed their pool of women will expand to the plain Janes that were once unattainable.

Plain Janes simply want what everyone wants - someone they truly like and can bring home to their friends and family. And if Joe Schmoes tried, they can be this guy.
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