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Ok thought it. If you were in my age range and could look through my eyes, you'd understand why I'm so skeptical. Most girls my age are going with absolute losers. 50-60% divorce rate; funny how being realistic is being negative.
Oh please Actual divorce rates are currently just under 40%. I don't have to be your age, I was your age, and things are not that different now than they were then.
Do yourself a favor and quit being your own worst enemy - it's your only hope to get the things you want
Whether monogamy is unnatural or not...has nothing to do with how I look at life and relationships. Constant sexual gratification ( if this is what this thread is inferring) which most people spend a lifetime changing partners for, has its end when the body shrivels of old age and is no longer capable of sustaining a hard on or a wet and pliable va-j-j (if I must be blunt!)
After all is said and done, at this point...the ideal scenario would be, to have someone whom you shared your youthful exuberance with...someone who has reasons to puts up with your quirks in old age and not give up on you...to not die alone, so to speak.
I haven't stop to even consider if a monogamous relationship is natural or not. It is natural to me, or maybe I'm just too lazy to get excited by anyone else. Before I married my present wife I stopped seeing women that I could be interested in. What I'm saying is most women just don't interest me beyond a friendship. I like the comfort of my wife and her love for me, no one else will ever matter. If something happened to her, I would be totally lost. I can't even envision being with someone else. So, natural or not, it doesn't matter to me.
Sometimes I wonder if men and women really suit each other.... Perhaps they should live next door and just visit now and then. -Kate Hepburn
Thanks...the above reminds me of this: I remember a time when I expressed my desire to have separate bedrooms to my hubby in the beginning of the relationship. He gave an incredulous look and then asked why. To which I gave the simplest childish reason, "I don't want you to see me in my most undesirable moments." He let out a belly laugh and just hugged me without saying anything other than "you poor thing."
Is One Long Relationship Really Natural to Man/Woman?
Quote:
Originally Posted by goldengrain
It is a good thing, I guess, that some of us believe the bs we are often fed in our childhood about prince charming. So long as we and the prince do not wake up our entire lives can be spent in the dream.
My mom felt she had that one and only in her second relationship. When he died she fell to pieces, calling me at work about seven times a day. Adults don't behave that way. Such attachment to another is a form of insecurity, in my humble opinion.
I would not say that this is the case with you, for I don't know you, but to me such comments come from immaturity or insecurity. Oh, I have also seen the most 'moral' comments coming from secretly immoral people.
Such 'love' is for Hollywood, not reality.
You sound like you are sick. Maybe you need to take an enema, then take something else and get over it. There are people that deeply love their mates, if you don't that isn't my business and I don't care... Do you even know what immaturity & insecurity is?
People can't separate their love of crappy McDonald's food because it tastes good from what is actually good for them. The same holds true for pure fornication. As humans, we need more.
Monogamy is scientifically based, more so for humans. No other mammal gets as many social diseases as we do. Very few animals engage in sex because it feels good. They only do it when the female is in heat. They are guided by instinct, not because one zebra looks hotter than another.
Humans are much more complex thereby our sexuality is more complex. Human beings have a consciousness that the much maligned religions try to address. Our consciousness is divided into mental, physical, emotional, and spiritual needs. Some (considered) less evolved people only act on certain planes of mental, physical, emotional & spiritual aspects. Religions (east & west) try to integrate them to make us whole to achieve enlightenment. It requires us to act from our higher selves. For tens of thousands of years, since human existence, this has been the ultimate spiritual goal for all humans. Tantra and Reiki that deal with sexual energy is all about integrating these aspects to achieve the highest form of ecstasy. If you act purely out of physical need, you are rejecting your consciousness (humanity) and degrading it into lower forms. This is where you get those terms; perversion, degradation, etc....because one who chooses to act only upon impulse, are in fact rejecting your humanity by acting without true consciousness. Just like an animal. And to do this consistently without awareness is an alert to other fellow human beings that you are a detriment to true human integration/evolution.
As humans we are never satisfied with the status quo. Progression, enlightenment and self control working in unison brings us ecstasy. This brings meaning into our lives; we are the Creators of Meaning. Without it, we are empty.
I haven't stop to even consider if a monogamous relationship is natural or not. It is natural to me, or maybe I'm just too lazy to get excited by anyone else. Before I married my present wife I stopped seeing women that I could be interested in. What I'm saying is most women just don't interest me beyond a friendship. I like the comfort of my wife and her love for me, no one else will ever matter. If something happened to her, I would be totally lost. I can't even envision being with someone else. So, natural or not, it doesn't matter to me.
I swoon over my Edward Cullen fantasies, but whenever I sit down and I try to imagine life without my husband, him either passed or living a different life, an emptiness fills me. It's unimaginable at this point. It would be like losing a leg.
My mom felt she had that one and only in her second relationship. When he died she fell to pieces, calling me at work about seven times a day. Adults don't behave that way. Such attachment to another is a form of insecurity, in my humble opinion.
My mom felt she had that one and only in her second relationship. When he died she fell to pieces, calling me at work about seven times a day. Adults don't behave that way. Such attachment to another is a form of insecurity, in my humble opinion.
I would not say that this is the case with you, for I don't know you, but to me such comments come from immaturity or insecurity. Oh, I have also seen the most 'moral' comments coming from secretly immoral people.
Such 'love' is for Hollywood, not reality.
Quote:
Originally Posted by ChessieMom
I pity you.
I also feel bad for that person..... the thing is, I used to sorta feel that way.... long story and another thread... but the thing is I "see" now.... we need each other.
And yes Chessie.... I pity that person as well..... not in a condescending way, just as another person seeing a skewed way of viewing things....
Location: Huntersville/Charlotte, NC and Washington, DC
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Chowhound
I also feel bad for that person..... the thing is, I used to sorta feel that way.... long story and another thread... but the thing is I "see" now.... we need each other.
And yes Chessie.... I pity that person as well..... not in a condescending way, just as another person seeing a skewed way of viewing things....
I think what that person is inferring is that you don't want to be so attached to someone that if they leave you foundation will TOTALLY collpase. Spouses get sick and die and if you make too much of your foundation and not balance it with other things you'll fall to pieces. I think balance will help to cushion a loss of the sigificant other, while you will still take a big hit there is some hope of recovering to a functioning level.
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Actual divorce rates are currently just under 40%. I don't have to be your age, I was your age, and things are not that different now than they were then.
Is One Long Relationship Really Natural to Man/Woman?
