Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
I hold two big, fat, hairy grudges in life. Both professional:
1) A former business partner who, without telling me, started an antique store on the side, got into financial difficulties, declared bankruptcy without telling me, and bolted out of town with three days' notice. His bankruptcy hurt my corporation's business credit, which affected my ability to function. So I wound up having to personally shoulder the load to get past it. I was also stuck with a good deal of his personal debt, including $3,000 in bar tabs charged to his corporate American Express card.
Yet the SOB had the nerve to call our clients and tell them what financial difficulties I was having (Conveniently omitting his bankruptcy as the reason), so they should steer their business to his new employer. If, 12 years later, this assclown stepped off the curb in front of my car, I'm not sure I would actually try to stop.
2) A former colleague of mine who, upon finding out that I had secured a bit of business that he had chased, spread a rumor that I was sleeping with the client. Fortunately, people know me better than that, but it was just vindictive. A couple of months ago, he actually had the nerve to call me up and ask for my help on a project. I simply said I wasn't interested and hung up.
Nope, generally I don't. However in extreme cases I might. Example with someone I used to do business with. "Used and unprofessional way of breaking ties" sums it up.
Forgiveness is a gift you give YOURSELF, whether the other person "deserves" it or not.
You might want to think about that
But you also do not have to forgive anyone you choose not to. Some people do not deserve to be forgiven or let into your life. You can get closure by just letting go, so to speak, and acknowleding that this person is just not meant to be a part of your life.
I don't forgive and I don't forget, but I still don't hold a grudge. I had a best friend that crossed me several years ago. We simply don't hang out or talk anymore. I'm not mad at what he did, but know to keep my distance from people like that. I'll still be cordial if we bump into each other though.
Me as well. My friend did me wrong and now I haven't talked to him in nearly a year. At the time I was angry about what he did, but all you can really do is move on from those things and forget about it. Just make sure you avoid the person so they don't have the chance to do the same thing as before.
Unfortunately, I do. I had a falling out with a family member twice, but I have to be nice to her because this family member was married to my ex-father in law, who my ex-husband moved back in with after we got divorced. My ex-husband has my child on weekends, so I basically have to make peace and kiss her butt for my daughters sake. However, my daughter just away to college and someday she won't be spending her weekends with her dad, and this hateful, cruel person will be out of my life forever, which I know will kill her. Payback's a *****.
Perhaps in many cases - there have been people who have treated you extremely badly and its right and correct to hold a grudge against them. But yeah holding a grudge against everyone who has wronged you in the slightest.
I don't mind some holding a grudge against me if I have mistreated them badly - but Here is worse than is people who hate you for no reason what so ever, you have barely spoke to them, or been around them for years, or indeed they know nothing about you - but choose to dislike you and will never be honest about their opinions or be straight up - but you know rightly the can't stand you.
Or in the case of relatives - you get them trying to remind of something stupid you done 15 years ago, or going over in painful detail about any percieved faults and trying to embarrass you - its more about them projecting and seeing their own faults.
You go into a new area or workplace - and someone takes an immediate dislike to you - not because of what you have done to them - but because of what others have done to them in the past and they project it on to you.
I tend to hold grudges and onto resentment too long, in the case of really serious issues/wrongs. Trying to work on that for my own good. In other, less serious cases, I try to move on but keep that person at a distance. I'm dealing with the latter right now, a person I thought had the potential to be a good friend. Turned out I was wrong about her - she's chooses not to keep things to herself. Thankfully I didn't divulge very much but I know now if I had, I would have really gotten burned. I told her vague details of something very personal to me; she, in turn, "accidentally" told her best friend (who I work with). I'm not going to cut the friend off but know now she can't be trusted to keep things to herself. She's an acquaintance now and I'll be friendly when I run into her, but nothing more. I realized she is a person who needs the attention on her 24-7 or she's not happy. Not worth holding a grudge over but not worth investing any more time in.
Last edited by PurePugx3; 09-11-2011 at 10:31 AM..
Yes, yes, there are thousands of wunnerful platitudes to quote to make those who hold grudges seem small-minded, guilty and ashamed.
None of them work on me.
If I have a grudge against you, it might be YEARS. I will sit quietly and smile, never mention it, wait until the perfect moment - and then I will decimate you.
Revenge is best served cold. And I have never failed to get it - eventually.
No, I don't sit in my house surrounded by cats (they're in the barn) I have a wonderful life and I enjoy it -every minute- to the fullest. I don't get enraged easily; in fact, if I trust or care about you, I'll let you get away with a lot, make excuses for you, etc. But if it comes down to that one thing that tips the scales - you're mine. And I will take enormous pleasure in it.
Yes, yes, there are thousands of wunnerful platitudes to quote to make those who hold grudges seem small-minded, guilty and ashamed.
None of them work on me.
If I have a grudge against you, it might be YEARS. I will sit quietly and smile, never mention it, wait until the perfect moment - and then I will decimate you.
Revenge is best served cold. And I have never failed to get it - eventually.
No, I don't sit in my house surrounded by cats (they're in the barn) I have a wonderful life and I enjoy it -every minute- to the fullest. I don't get enraged easily; in fact, if I trust or care about you, I'll let you get away with a lot, make excuses for you, etc. But if it comes down to that one thing that tips the scales - you're mine. And I will take enormous pleasure in it.
Yes, yes, there are thousands of wunnerful platitudes to quote to make those who hold grudges seem small-minded, guilty and ashamed.
None of them work on me.
If I have a grudge against you, it might be YEARS. I will sit quietly and smile, never mention it, wait until the perfect moment - and then I will decimate you.
Revenge is best served cold. And I have never failed to get it - eventually.
No, I don't sit in my house surrounded by cats (they're in the barn) I have a wonderful life and I enjoy it -every minute- to the fullest. I don't get enraged easily; in fact, if I trust or care about you, I'll let you get away with a lot, make excuses for you, etc. But if it comes down to that one thing that tips the scales - you're mine. And I will take enormous pleasure in it.
Wow. You say all this like you're proud of it
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
