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Old 09-03-2011, 05:22 PM
 
Location: FL
2,392 posts, read 5,714,827 times
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In the times we live in, women practically fall over themselves trying to pay on the 3rd date bc they want to prove that they're capable and independent. A guy paying for the 3rd, 4th and 5th dates is kinda over the top.
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Old 09-03-2011, 05:24 PM
 
1,833 posts, read 2,505,876 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by he's so hott View Post
In the times we live in, women practically fall over themselves trying to pay on the 3rd date bc they want to prove that they're capable and independent. A guy paying for the 3rd, 4th and 5th dates is kinda over the top.

Exactly. Paying once or twice is one thing. Once you're at 3, 4, and 5 times, there's no reason for that.
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Old 09-03-2011, 05:25 PM
 
Location: East coast-New England
1,639 posts, read 2,197,619 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by crabman1 View Post
There are no obligations anyways Ron. She owes me nothing. I owe her nothing. What is so complicated? I never worry about paying or what it cost. Only that it was the right date for the girl, something that we would enjoy together. That often means something besides dinner and guess what, I'll pay for that too. I don't feel the slightest bit taken doing that. As men we spend a fortune buying cars and all manner of crap that doesn't bring near the pleasure that a woman on a good date can for a fraction of the cost. Thats whats in it for me but then you actually have to like women. I guess this makes me stupid, I can live with that.

You are not stupid at all Crabman. I appreciate your feelings. I tend to like the guy to pay for the first date, though i will ALWAYS offer to go dutch. I dunno..some things just are the way they are. Tradition, etc. However, I am very fair in a dating relationship. I will definitely do my fair share of treating, as I dont feel the guy should always have to pay for every darn thing.
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Old 09-03-2011, 06:14 PM
 
Location: Florida
1,782 posts, read 3,934,173 times
Reputation: 964
Quote:
Originally Posted by WakaFlocka View Post
Paying for 5 consecutive dates isn't going to create an attraction. The guy is a sucker if he does that. She needs to contribute as well.

Paying for 5 consecutive dates isn't a kind gesture. It's a sucker move and the guy saying "I'm a sucker, but I can buy your love". That doesn't further the attraction. The point of dating is to get to know someone, not spend money on someone while they do nothing more than show up.


Having that many dates in a row paid for does scream "entitled" and frankly, I'm starting to get that vibe from your posts.
Actually yes it will create an attraction. I'd say at least 3/4 of women do feel entitled to the first date and not doing it is going to be a huge negative. That proportion falls with each consecutive date. Paying when you don't have to shows more kindness and means more to her than paying when you are expected to.

Agian, I fall back on nothing to gain. Except for a starving woman...the amount of effort that they put into a date and the time spent with you is far more valuable than a free meal. They have nothing to gain by taking you for a ride on more than one spur of the moment date (and the man always pays for the first one anyway).
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Old 09-03-2011, 06:20 PM
 
1,833 posts, read 2,505,876 times
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Actually yes it will create an attraction. I'd say at least 3/4 of women do feel entitled to the first date and not doing it is going to be a huge negative. That proportion falls with each consecutive date. Paying when you don't have to shows more kindness and means more to her than paying when you are expected to.

Women know almost right away if they're going to sleep with you. No guy with self-respect is paying for the first 5 dates, without paying for at least 1. It may show kindness, but it doesn't increase sexual attraction. The problem is you admit that women feel entitled for the first date. Apparently, you feel entitled for 4 more. Guess what? If I'm going to pay for 5 consecutive dates, I feel entitled to get sex from you.


Quote:
Agian, I fall back on nothing to gain. Except for a starving woman...the amount of effort that they put into a date and the time spent with you is far more valuable than a free meal. They have nothing to gain by taking you for a ride on more than one spur of the moment date (and the man always pays for the first one anyway).

Nothing to gain? Just a few free meals. No biggie. The time is more valuable, hence it's best to keep the dates as cheap as possible. If she's into you and wants to spend time with you, the date itself won't matter. And no, whoever asks pays for the first date. I suggest you adapt because I don't know any guys that would pay for 5 consecutive dates unless they were getting laid at the end of each date.
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Old 09-03-2011, 11:51 PM
 
Location: Florida
1,782 posts, read 3,934,173 times
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Originally Posted by WakaFlocka View Post
Women know almost right away if they're going to sleep with you. No guy with self-respect is paying for the first 5 dates, without paying for at least 1. It may show kindness, but it doesn't increase sexual attraction. The problem is you admit that women feel entitled for the first date. Apparently, you feel entitled for 4 more. Guess what? If I'm going to pay for 5 consecutive dates, I feel entitled to get sex from you.





Nothing to gain? Just a few free meals. No biggie. The time is more valuable, hence it's best to keep the dates as cheap as possible. If she's into you and wants to spend time with you, the date itself won't matter. And no, whoever asks pays for the first date. I suggest you adapt because I don't know any guys that would pay for 5 consecutive dates unless they were getting laid at the end of each date.
Just so we're clear....I'm a guy, not a girl.

It hasn't been my experience that sober women know immediatley whether or not they sleep with you. Regardless, I'm looking for a relationship and not a hook up when I date. Paying for her is an act of kindness and that is critical for attracting a woman and making her care for you. Quite frankly, I value that far more than a few dollars for meals and entertainment.

You are correct that if she's interested the date itself wont matter.....once she's attracted to you. There is a difference between being interested and being attracted. Men get attracted really quickly. It takes a while to get a woman truly attracted, and not just interested. How do you do that? Well, paying for the dates (and making sure they are enjoyable) and being generous is one way of doing it.

I do believe that the time investment is not worth the free meals for the majority of women. A gold digger is going to want much more than just meals and a few gifts, which is where I draw the line. A normal woman is not going to waste hours of her time and put on an act for a free meal every now and then.
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Old 09-03-2011, 11:57 PM
 
Location: Florida
1,782 posts, read 3,934,173 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by he's so hott View Post
In the times we live in, women practically fall over themselves trying to pay on the 3rd date bc they want to prove that they're capable and independent. A guy paying for the 3rd, 4th and 5th dates is kinda over the top.
Which is exactly the reason to pay for them. Paying when you are not expected to is a far more powerful gesture and means more than paying when you are expected to (whih will only get you in trouble if you don't do it)

Same reason why women really enjoy it when you suprise them with something nice out of the blue and that has a greater impact than when you "remember" her birthday or Valentine's Day......which will only get you in trouble if you forget...

The unexpected is more powerful than the expected.
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Old 09-04-2011, 07:04 PM
 
1,833 posts, read 2,505,876 times
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Originally Posted by th3vault View Post
Just so we're clear....I'm a guy, not a girl.

It hasn't been my experience that sober women know immediatley whether or not they sleep with you. Regardless, I'm looking for a relationship and not a hook up when I date. Paying for her is an act of kindness and that is critical for attracting a woman and making her care for you. Quite frankly, I value that far more than a few dollars for meals and entertainment.

You are correct that if she's interested the date itself wont matter.....once she's attracted to you. There is a difference between being interested and being attracted. Men get attracted really quickly. It takes a while to get a woman truly attracted, and not just interested. How do you do that? Well, paying for the dates (and making sure they are enjoyable) and being generous is one way of doing it.

I do believe that the time investment is not worth the free meals for the majority of women. A gold digger is going to want much more than just meals and a few gifts, which is where I draw the line. A normal woman is not going to waste hours of her time and put on an act for a free meal every now and then.

Must be hard to walk without a spine.
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Old 09-04-2011, 08:51 PM
 
Location: Florida
1,782 posts, read 3,934,173 times
Reputation: 964
Quote:
Originally Posted by WakaFlocka View Post
Must be hard to walk without a spine.
Cool insult bro.
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Old 09-04-2011, 09:08 PM
 
Location: FL
2,392 posts, read 5,714,827 times
Reputation: 1277
Quote:
Originally Posted by th3vault View Post
There is a difference between being interested and being attracted. Men get attracted really quickly. It takes a while to get a woman truly attracted, and not just interested.
I would reverse it. Men and women get attracted really quickly. Attraction is would he/she have intimate relations with you if given the opportunity. She is either attracted to you when she first sees you or she isn't.

The interested part comes into play when she determines if she wants to date you seriously. Getting her interest would depend on your behavior towards her; as you concluded. Does that include paying for the first 5 dates? For some women, maybe. Personally, I'd run not walk away from the type of woman that would use that sort of thing to gauge her interest in me as possible steady.


Quote:
Originally Posted by th3vault View Post
A normal woman is not going to waste hours of her time and put on an act for a free meal every now and then.
Yes a 'normal' woman would. I've overheard several of these 'normal' women of all races over the last 3 years say how they going to go dinner with a gentleman bc they would like to get a nice meal, even though they're not attracted to the gentlemen. I know you don't want to hear it, but there are 'normal' non-goldigging women whom will go on a dinner date with a gentleman bc they have not been on a date in a while and it's presents an opportunity to have someone pay for them a nice meal.

That's why I don't do dinners or any sort of meal as a first or second date. Too many women looking for a sit down dinner bc they haven't been on a date recently.
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