i think i met a boy....

[Prince_Frog]

Originally Posted by mariagostrey

the thing is, i'm not necessarily phased that we didn't work out or that it turned out that he just wasn't that into me. it was that the 7 dates over 3 weeks, he has been lying to me meticulously so. he now says he is "young and just wants to date casually like a young guy" but he kept insisting, and trying to convince me that he was "more mature than other boys" his age and is done "playing the field" and wants "an exclusive commited relationship" and that i have "healed a part of him that was broken". lol. so if he HADNT gone on that entire charade...that he has been saying other girls wouldn't have been a big deal. and he DID tell me, when i ask him, that he HAS been seeing other girls during our last date but he then said nothing compares to what we have and he will cut ties with them immediately....

i WAS very skeptical...but he was very sweet and gentle and respectful, never crossing ANY of my physical intimacy boundaries, telling me he didn't care about sex and that he wanted " a deeper connection".

now this morning the guy i was talking to was on an entirely different planet! i'm...so disturbed...how can someone be so mean?

From this point, I think he's probably confused about what he wants. He's 24 and it's pefectly natural to be unsure about yourself at that age.

Unfortunately this does leave you out in the cold, he lied to you, but at the same time he lied to himself, and he'll probably continue playing the field until he is ready to settle down.

If I were you, I'd stop communicating with him. I think you'll hurt yourself if you stay friends with him, and no communication will help you get over him faster. Tons more guys out there, no need to get upset over this one guy. And not every guy does this either.

[mariagostrey]

so we have finally decided to meet this sunday evening for a quick coffee and to "Catch up". not entirely sure what that constitutes. i was looking forward to this meet up because i thought this was our chance to talk and communicate about what happened and what it is that he is looking for and what i am looking for. but then he texted me asking if i can bring along a sweatshirt he gave me to our meet....now this is sounding more like a lets meet up to return things and say goodbye kind of get together...

wtf?

[NoDoubt1993]

Cancel the coffee date.
Lose his number.
Don't accept any more calls from him.
Burn the sweatshirt.
Move on.

[Saberai]

Originally Posted by NoDoubt1993

Cancel the coffee date.
Lose his number.
Don't accept any more calls from him.
Burn the sweatshirt.
Move on.

Yea. All he'll do is tell her sweet stuff that she wanted to hear....like what he'd been doing all along while banging horny chicks anyway.

[Nimco]

Originally Posted by mariagostrey

hey all,

so after having a horrible experience on an online dating site for about a year, i finally came across a profile i really liked. just when i was about to message him i noticed that he had messaged me. he was equally interested and we messaged back and forth for like a week until we decided to meet. this was the first time before an online dating site date that i was actually nervous; he seemed like a legit guy.

we met and had a really fun 3 hour coffee date. we seemed to have a nice chemistry and had a lot to things to talk about. he told me about 3 times that he thought i was beautiful and attractive and i blushed and told him i thought he was really cute and hot. he said he was looking for something serious that could lead to marriage- i was taken aback by this since at 24 and never having had a bf talk of marriage on a first date seemed REALLLY too fast. but he clarified that he wasn't looking to get married right now- just some day but that he wanted to be in a relationship that would lead to that. he asked me out for the next time and we hugged twice before parting ways.

date 2 ensued 2 days later. we met up for dinner. we walked around the mall and he asked where i wanted to eat. i brought him to this italian place and we looked at the menu outside where he said that was too pricey for him. (he is a recent grad school graduate who is temping). i quickly said that we could go to a more affordable place and went to a middle eastern place where we shared a kebob platter. we talked a lot and had a real fun time with some mild flirting
going on. after about 3 hours he said he needed to get home early so he could make it to work on time, he decided to give me a ride home. it was legit
storming so that was a pretty adventurous time driving back here. once parked outside my house in the pouring rain i asked if he wanted to come inside to see my place. he said he wants to wait before he takes that step. also that he knows himself and if he comes inside, he will want to kiss me. i blushed and said he could kiss me on the cheek if he wanted to.and he did. i then asked him if i could kiss him on the cheek and he says yes and i do. he says he'll text me once he gets home and kisses me on the cheek once more before i get out and run in the pouring rain inside. he texts me after an hour saying he had a wonderful time and it was so nice to feel an innocent peck. i thanked him for the amazing night and said i was excited to see him again.

its been two days since and we have been texting back and forth. he usually texts me in the morning to say hi and has been trying to help me look for internships. we have tentative plans to hang out this weekend so lets see where that goes. i think i really could like this guy and find myself thinking about him all the time. i just wanted to ask if this was all good or if i was doing anything wrong? what do you more experienced guys think?

THIS IS ADORABLE!
Don't look for faults, just enjoy it

[mariagostrey]

Originally Posted by NoDoubt1993

Cancel the coffee date.
Lose his number.
Don't accept any more calls from him.
Burn the sweatshirt.
Move on.

i want to confront him tho. if i bail on him, he will have the easy way out. and im NOT gonna give him his sweatshirt. i'll say i couldn't find it.

[Sheridan1962]

IMHO, you have nothing to gain by confronting him. What you do have to gain by ignoring him is your dignity, and a great sense of satisfaction for seeing him for the loser he is.

[thatsong64]

Ok his actions DID seem a little sketchy. But yeah he REALLY misled you with his words then pretty much blamed you for it ("you girls take everything too seriously" wtf?!) DO NOT continue to talk to him. He'll sweet talk you again and youll start giving in about stuff because you still have feelings for him. He is a player. Everything he said in the phone call was carefully picked words to continue leading you on. Be done and onto someone better. At least you didn't get TOO far in (or sleep with him) before you found out about him.

edit: oh no! I read some more and see that he already did sweet talk you into dating him again. DO NOT do this. He is a liar and a player and totally confused OR just a liar and a player. You should not see or talk to him anymore! You seem awesome, don't get suckered into his bull!

[imsh0t]

dont judge him based on his best behavior, judge him by his worst.

BTW telltale signs of a guy who is seeing other girls:

Very protective about their cellphone/texting.
Tells people there busy and will call them later/ignores calls when with you.
tends to have stuff "come up" alll the time. is flaky.
has friends that are players or womanizers.
doesnt pick up phone alot. Very on and off attention.

[temptation001]

He wants his sweatshirt back? Why?! Is he going to give it to the new girl? How many times has that sweatshirt been passed around?!! OMG! He's so cheap, he recycles gifts and asks women to give him back gifts he already gave to them so he can reuse them. WTF?!