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Old 09-11-2011, 11:46 PM
 
Location: Ohio
13,900 posts, read 11,072,190 times
Reputation: 7243

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So, not ten minutes ago, I was checking my Facebook page out when, to my horror, I found out a Girl who I REALLY care about and love is getting married! I have known this Girl since I was just a kid. We have had an on and off freindship for years but the last few years it's been a constant. I have always had a thing for her and I even would say that I love her. I never have had the guts to tell her how I feel about her though. When I first started getting these feelings, I couldn't even eat! I had no appetite. She had feelings for me to at one time but somehow we ended up in the freind zone.

Anyway, she has alot of boyfreinds but they usualy always come and go. The guy shes with now isnt that bad of a guy it would seem bt he's a real doof IMO. I never thought it would get this far with HIM. I just always thought "yeah...this one will be like all the rest and eventualy, I'll work up enough courage to ask her out for myself." Apparently, that's just not going to happen. When I was reading about her engagement, my heart started pounding, breathing went rapid, and I started sweating. Now I'm just left with that overwhelming feeling of depression. Don't get me wrong, I want her to be happy, I just wish I had had enough courage to take a shot at giving her that happiness when I had the chance.

Make me feel better about this whole sitch City-Data, what should I do? Have any of you ever been in a similar situation? How did you get over it?

{ yes everyone, this is a self serving thread }
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Old 09-11-2011, 11:53 PM
 
101 posts, read 109,083 times
Reputation: 238
All you can do is wish her well and move on. Write her a letter (that you never mail) about your feelings and burn it in a bucket or something. Use whatever mechanism to get you through the next few days, and the feelings of depression and woefulness will subside. Well, for one, stop reading news-feed via Facebook. That is in itself is going to magnify the feelings of depression. Life is too short to watch others achieve things you wish. And, don't do anything rash like tell this girl your real feelings about her, since she seems committed to the current guy. Let this be a wake up call to take chances and meet other people and move on.
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Old 09-12-2011, 12:05 AM
 
Location: Ohio
13,900 posts, read 11,072,190 times
Reputation: 7243
^^^ Thanks for the advice.

What's worse is, being that we are freinds, She will probly want me to go to the wedding.
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Old 09-12-2011, 12:11 AM
 
257 posts, read 526,274 times
Reputation: 382
Reading your post made me think of an expression my mom often uses.

"You snooze, you lose"
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Old 09-12-2011, 12:29 AM
 
Location: SXSW
640 posts, read 1,571,615 times
Reputation: 607
MEN- Let this be a lesson to take some chances with the women you want. She's not going to wait until you're over your shyness. She's not going to wait while you sow your wild oats. She's got her own life to live. If you don't get to her on time, some other lucky (and clearly more opportunistic) man will.
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Old 09-12-2011, 12:31 AM
 
Location: Ohio
13,900 posts, read 11,072,190 times
Reputation: 7243
Would it be wrong of me to take solace in the fact that the divorce rate is so high?

I suppose it would.
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Old 09-12-2011, 12:33 AM
 
Location: Up above the world so high!
45,269 posts, read 89,870,967 times
Reputation: 39935
Quote:
Originally Posted by WhipperSnapper 88 View Post
So, not ten minutes ago, I was checking my Facebook page out when, to my horror, I found out a Girl who I REALLY care about and love is getting married! I have known this Girl since I was just a kid. We have had an on and off freindship for years but the last few years it's been a constant. I have always had a thing for her and I even would say that I love her. I never have had the guts to tell her how I feel about her though. When I first started getting these feelings, I couldn't even eat! I had no appetite. She had feelings for me to at one time but somehow we ended up in the freind zone.

Anyway, she has alot of boyfreinds but they usualy always come and go. The guy shes with now isnt that bad of a guy it would seem bt he's a real doof IMO. I never thought it would get this far with HIM. I just always thought "yeah...this one will be like all the rest and eventualy, I'll work up enough courage to ask her out for myself." Apparently, that's just not going to happen. When I was reading about her engagement, my heart started pounding, breathing went rapid, and I started sweating. Now I'm just left with that overwhelming feeling of depression. Don't get me wrong, I want her to be happy, I just wish I had had enough courage to take a shot at giving her that happiness when I had the chance.

Make me feel better about this whole sitch City-Data, what should I do? Have any of you ever been in a similar situation? How did you get over it?

{ yes everyone, this is a self serving thread }

Well, you snooze, you loose Hope you've learned a valuable lesson about being afraid to speak up.

Find your courage and tell her now before she's actually married.

Sure, it's likely too late, BUT you never know... hearing this from you might give her second thoughts about what she is about to do.
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Old 09-12-2011, 12:43 AM
 
2,502 posts, read 3,196,031 times
Reputation: 1787
Quote:
Originally Posted by lovesMountains View Post
Well, you snooze, you loose Hope you've learned a valuable lesson about being afraid to speak up.

Find your courage and tell her now before she's actually married.

Sure, it's likely too late, BUT you never know... hearing this from you might give her second thoughts about what she is about to do.
Don't you think that's a bit selfish? What about her happiness and what's best for her?

I understand the OP is very hurt, but he can't attempt to break up what's about to be permanent unless her fiancé proves to be abusive
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Old 09-12-2011, 12:54 AM
 
2,490 posts, read 3,818,225 times
Reputation: 2879
OP: your post just showed to me that I need to let my best friend know how I feel about her. I'm so afraid of losing her and her possibly marrying another man. It makes me sad and breaks my heart to even think about that. I love and care about her so much. I want nothing more than for us to spend the rest of our lives together. She's been my best friend since we were in the third grade. We even had our first kiss together at 8 yrs old. we've grown up together and she's always been there for me. She's everything I like in a girl. I don't want to ever lose her- ever and I mean that.
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Old 09-12-2011, 12:56 AM
 
200 posts, read 276,036 times
Reputation: 162
lol let it go...wasn't meant to be...or if it is you'll just have to wait a few more years....will you like her then wearing granny panties? If that's a yes keep hoping for the moment. The movie/book "Love In The Time Of Cholera" has a similar tune.
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