to the married people..... (partner, accept, years, mother)
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Prairiegirl, you're in a tough situation because your husband is away so much. There is no way to monitor what he eats and place healthy alternative food choices in front of him.
Have you spoken to him about how frustrated you are about how he's eating? You have to communicate your feelings to him. I'm not saying this will change anything, but it's a start. You're not wrong to resent and be angry at a spouse who lets themselves get fat. It's a huge issue in marriages between a thin spouse and one who is not thin.
Look into getting a life insurance policy, say $1 million, on him. While the amount will ensure your well being, the real reason is to get him in for the physical required by the policy. Hopefully, he will take more interest in his health when he realizes the extra cost in higher premiums is due to health related concerns.
Thank you for your words everyone,I do need to work on letting go of the things I cant control, I certainly don't want to make his stress worse....and looking at becoming more independent would be ideal....control what I can right? I will let go of the nagging and try to be a better example. I asked him the other day if he would help me, thinking maybe that would help us both.....we shall see.
Aganusn......lots of things you cant learn about a person until you have been married for a few years, as you evolve into different people over time, or at least I hope you grow into different people - better then you were people, but as long as we live we will encounter problems.....this is one of mine and learn more about what? I knew him pretty well before we were married. This present time in our country has caused some of us to be in situation we didn't know we would be in, and has brought certain challenges.....I'll leave it at that, but again thank you too all for your support!
Look into getting a life insurance policy, say $1 million, on him. While the amount will ensure your well being, the real reason is to get him in for the physical required by the policy. Hopefully, he will take more interest in his health when he realizes the extra cost in higher premiums is due to health related concerns.
yeah, my thought too, but he is too out of control now! Wish I has realized that earlier! That was on my list of plan B! Too late!
how do you motivate your SO to be responsible? In terms of being healthy, eating right etc. Nagging obviously doesn't work, unfortunately I tried it...
and created a bigger problem for myself.
Is there anyway you can get an adult with whom you are dependent on to not take risk that also affect you. If my employment situation where different I would not be so fearful,but being unemployed, for a long time now, and totally dependent I have tried in desperation so things that have not worked, only made things worse....
any suggestions?
I know exactly how you feel, sister.
Mine USED to be the responsible one. Then she got laid off in the crash and hasn't been the same since.
Now I have to be the responsible one, which sucks.
Things were better when I had time to do the cooking.
Prairiegirl, you're in a tough situation because your husband is away so much. There is no way to monitor what he eats and place healthy alternative food choices in front of him.
Have you spoken to him about how frustrated you are about how he's eating? You have to communicate your feelings to him. I'm not saying this will change anything, but it's a start. You're not wrong to resent and be angry at a spouse who lets themselves get fat. It's a huge issue in marriages between a thin spouse and one who is not thin.
That was Plan A....which turned quickly into nagging.....which ended being a bad thing.....
That said, he is the only person who can change him. Let him know you are concerned and concentrate on leading by example. Plan active things to do when you are together and eat right.
Most people react very poorly to diets and honestly, diets don't work. You have to make a lifestyle change and that's hard. There's a good chance your H has no idea what is good and what is bad. He just has notions of a life of deprivation and you have to show him that's not the case. He needs to learn how to shop and what to eat. He needs to be able to look at a restaurant menu and choose something that will satisfy him and provide decent nutrition.
I would try high protein and low sugar. I would teach him to think of protein as free food. Replace the ding dongs with beef or chicken jerky. Add in a multivitamin every day. Start small!
so does anyone know if with life insurance you can be denied or do they just charge high rates? That might really be the best option....I'd be willing to give it a try.
how do you motivate your SO to be responsible? In terms of being healthy, eating right etc. Nagging obviously doesn't work, unfortunately I tried it...
and created a bigger problem for myself. Is there anyway you can get an adult with whom you are dependent on to not take risk that also affect you. If my employment situation where different I would not be so fearful,but being unemployed, for a long time now, and totally dependent I have tried in desperation so things that have not worked, only made things worse....
any suggestions?
I don't mean to offend but, is there is something cockeyed about this statement bolded above...?
How do you regard your husband...as someone you love therefore care about his health, or as benefactor whose poor diet may deprive you of financial aid?
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