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Old 09-16-2011, 09:14 AM
 
Location: Pittsburgh
29,667 posts, read 34,178,779 times
Reputation: 76775

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Is anyone else thinking of that answering machine scene from Swingers now?
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Old 09-17-2011, 07:10 AM
 
Location: Northern Wisconsin
10,379 posts, read 10,861,743 times
Reputation: 18712
Young man, my guess is that her opinion was that the sex wasn't that good, so she decided not to pursue the relationship. Don't feel bad. You're probably one of many that she'll reject. She might very well, spend her life always "looking for something better."
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Old 09-17-2011, 07:49 AM
 
2,596 posts, read 5,569,854 times
Reputation: 3996
Quote:
Originally Posted by greenvillebuckeye View Post
texted her 3 times yesterday (monday) received one text back that was very short. texted her again this morning twice with no reply since. and this girl from what i can is glued to her phone.
I think it's good to express interest and not play games by waiting around a certain number of days to call, however it's also a good rule of thumb not to push things farther than the other person is reciprocating. So sending 5 texts when you've only gotten one very short one back in response is a bit too much, even if spread over several days. You run the risk of scaring her off.

Then there's the issue of the everything-but-sex happening. That wasn't your fault any more than hers, but she may very well be embarrassed by how both of you acted and not want to be reminded of it by seeing you again. Since you crawled into her bed at 5 AM on the very first day you met and you two did everything but, she may be assuming (perhaps rightfully) that in your mind, sex is definitely on the table the next time you meet up. She didn't exactly present herself as conservative in that department (despite what your friend says), so now she may feel there's no way to walk that back, and since you crawled into her bed when she was almost a stranger, she may be assuming you aren't the kind of guy who would be open to taking anything slowly. So the obvious solution is to never see you again and not make the same mistakes with the next guy.

Who knows. Just guessing. In any case, I don't think you guys did anything wrong, just may have thrown it all out of whack with the timing and now she's too embarrassed to see you again because it wasn't right for her.
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Old 09-17-2011, 10:56 PM
 
1,841 posts, read 3,166,329 times
Reputation: 2512
I would just chalk it up to one of those things...
You live aways from her and she may not be interested in a LDR...

She may very well have enjoyed your company however not ready for a relationship....

I would give it awhile and then shoot her a text..
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Old 09-18-2011, 09:51 PM
 
Location: Up above the world so high!
45,218 posts, read 100,421,908 times
Reputation: 40197
Quote:
Originally Posted by greenvillebuckeye View Post
any particular reason? just curious.
Greenville my friend, let this be a serious lesson to you...

If you really saw this girl as potential relationship material you would have been wise to hold back on the physical intimacy
.

The bottom line is, she's likely embarrassed/ashamed that she hooked up with you so quickly, and she thinks all you'll want from her now is sex.

She is ignoring you as a way of forgetting her own embarrassment AND so that you can't possibly use her in the future (not that I think that would be your intention).

Most women want to know a guy see's them, not just their body, AND that a guy thinks they are worth waiting a while to get to know before things get too physical.

Your best hope for salvaging this situation at this point is to see if your buddy's wife will help you out.

Speak with her, explain the situation and see if she'll talk to this girl for you. Hopefully she is willing and will pass on the message that you really enjoyed the girl's company and would love a chance to get to know her better.

If you get a second chance, take things slower!!
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Old 09-18-2011, 10:10 PM
 
1,591 posts, read 3,417,835 times
Reputation: 2152
Quote:
Originally Posted by greenvillebuckeye View Post
update and clarification:

it's not like i texted her as soon as i got in the car to drive home folks. i texted her the following day with just a "hey hope you had fun this weekend" kind of text. then followed it up with checking to see how her day was going and if it was going well kind of text. called her the following evening (Tuesday) and left a voicemail. no response back. haven't texted or called since tuesday.

some of these replies make it sound like i was non stop texting / calling her as soon as i got in the car to drive home.

still confused to say the least. we had a ton in common and according to my buddy shes very conservative when it comes to things like sex (at least as far as he knew haha) so i'm a little confused still as to why a girl who i have a ton in common with and like wise and who obviously wasn't shy in the bedroom with me (a relative stranger) would then not even shoot me a text back saying "i got your voicemail just really busy". hec, i'd take even an email that said "not interested".

Personally I would text her once a number of days later, and if she didn't respond I'd drop it. If she wants to respond, she will, if not then every advance you send way just makes her push you farther away in her mind.
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Old 09-19-2011, 12:07 PM
 
Location: USA
30,618 posts, read 21,778,695 times
Reputation: 18872
Quote:
Originally Posted by lovesMountains View Post
Greenville my friend, let this be a serious lesson to you...

If you really saw this girl as potential relationship material you would have been wise to hold back on the physical intimacy.

The bottom line is, she's likely embarrassed/ashamed that she hooked up with you so quickly, and she thinks all you'll want from her now is sex.

She is ignoring you as a way of forgetting her own embarrassment AND so that you can't possibly use her in the future (not that I think that would be your intention).

Most women want to know a guy see's them, not just their body, AND that a guy thinks they are worth waiting a while to get to know before things get too physical.

Your best hope for salvaging this situation at this point is to see if your buddy's wife will help you out.

Speak with her, explain the situation and see if she'll talk to this girl for you. Hopefully she is willing and will pass on the message that you really enjoyed the girl's company and would love a chance to get to know her better.

If you get a second chance, take things slower!!
I would go with LM's approach. It's easy to see that she could be embarrassed. If that is where you are at than you have a chance. If I had a one night stand, and Ive only had one in my life, it would have no affect if I thought the girl was really great. As said above, If you really like her, ultilize your friends.
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