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Old 09-14-2011, 08:52 AM
 
Location: Rockwall
678 posts, read 1,219,285 times
Reputation: 1100

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Quote:
Originally Posted by sierraAZ View Post
Wow! I was talking more of Halloween-style skeletons... This is more like a true horror movie!
It was.....

Quote:
Originally Posted by believe007 View Post
And when ya' found out, you were still married? Thats the way it usually goes, as far I what I've witnessed. The unsuspecting spouse gets slammed with something that is impossible to ignore
Yes, he had created a fake life to cover his true background. He bacame violent when some of his lies unravelled. A terrible time in my life and I'm fortunate to be alive and away froim him.

Google people!! Put their names into the county court records web-site to see if they have a criminal record, marriages they are hiding, or civil lawsuits for other reasons.
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Old 09-14-2011, 09:12 AM
 
Location: In my skin
8,728 posts, read 13,524,921 times
Reputation: 8600
Depends on the secret. Hard to answer that one. "Living a lie" is open to interpretation as well.
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Old 09-14-2011, 09:15 AM
 
9,018 posts, read 7,717,199 times
Reputation: 14396
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dragonfly8 View Post
It was.....



Yes, he had created a fake life to cover his true background. He bacame violent when some of his lies unravelled. A terrible time in my life and I'm fortunate to be alive and away froim him.

Google people!! Put their names into the county court records web-site to see if they have a criminal record, marriages they are hiding, or civil lawsuits for other reasons.
I've seen this kind of story play out- people who have double lives. Good for you that you got out And excellent advice, too
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Old 09-14-2011, 10:04 AM
 
Location: USA
17,532 posts, read 12,991,295 times
Reputation: 11720
I have found that "Almost all people" who on the outside are living a life that appears perfect, have the most to hide! Politicians are a good example. You also see many people here on CD, riding on their high horse claiming rightousness and putting down people who are honest. "He who cast the first stone, most likely has the most to hide" How true.

It is actually extremaly refreshing to me when someone is blatantly honest about there past!

Last edited by LS Jaun; 09-14-2011 at 10:33 AM..
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Old 09-14-2011, 11:10 AM
 
3,111 posts, read 6,569,289 times
Reputation: 4229
I lay all my cards on the table within the first few months. Sometimes the woman likes the fact that I'm so honest about my past, and is accepting. Other times, they run the other way.
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Old 09-14-2011, 11:20 AM
 
Location: Nashville, Tn
7,916 posts, read 16,133,045 times
Reputation: 5439
The worst possible thing I can think of would be the reactions of the wives of The Green River Killer and the BTK murderer a few years ago. These guys were monsters inside but hid that part of their nature from their wives and everyone they knew. Also, many rapists and child molesters are married and their wives are clueless. A sociopath who has no feelings of remorse or sense of right and wrong is often able to act as though they're the perfect husband or Father because they're not bothered by feelings of guilt.
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Old 09-14-2011, 12:56 PM
 
Location: In the clouds
861 posts, read 820,295 times
Reputation: 599
Quote:
Originally Posted by believe007 View Post
So say you've been with someone a few years; seriously deep into the relationship, committed, etc. Then one day you find out something so shocking about your partner that it feels like a truck hit you. Something so out of their "character" that you almost can't believe it. Do you stay,or do you end it?
It all depends on what the skeletons are....I'm not gonna judge someone until I know the full story
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Old 09-14-2011, 12:58 PM
 
538 posts, read 1,223,663 times
Reputation: 718
Happened with my wife; she did something between meeting me and marrying me that was extremely out of character for her that I am still confused by it. And at the same time, I really wish I had know about it sooner so I could have been part of it. She kept it from me for 6 years and it was so shocking when I found out that I didn't know what to do and I acted out of character for myself, too. We stayed together, though.
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Old 09-14-2011, 01:15 PM
 
Location: USA
1,590 posts, read 1,594,484 times
Reputation: 1627
Quote:
Originally Posted by believe007 View Post
So say you've been with someone a few years; seriously deep into the relationship, committed, etc. Then one day you find out something so shocking about your partner that it feels like a truck hit you. Something so out of their "character" that you almost can't believe it. Do you stay,or do you end it?
It depends on the "something" as someone said. People DO things out of character once in a while. And people also change. It's possible that whatever it was was NOT out of character AT THAT TIME. But now he is different.

So it depends on many factors. Can you bear it? Does he seems like he couldn't do it now? Is he a changed person?
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Old 09-14-2011, 01:18 PM
 
9,415 posts, read 10,987,234 times
Reputation: 20169
Quote:
Originally Posted by believe007 View Post
LOL if I wasn't studying right now maybe; I just know someone who's living a complete lie. And it's gonna catch up to the fairy tale story they're living....Its inevitable
Given the fact this scenario has nothing to do with your SO, you should mind your business.
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