Does Deep Love really exist? (movies, women, lover, sex)
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I am talking about that "till forever due us part" love. The kind of love that is two souls joining and becoming one, forever. The one that all romantic movies have proclaimed since the beginning of romantic movies. No matter what, you two are in it forever kind of love.
Does this actually exist? Or is it a figment of our imaginations like the easter bunny or Santa Clause? Is it a one time thing? Can it really last forever?
I am talking about that "till forever due us part" love. The kind of love that is two souls joining and becoming one, forever. The one that all romantic movies have proclaimed since the beginning of romantic movies. No matter what, you two are in it forever kind of love.
Does this actually exist? Or is it a figment of our imaginations like the easter bunny or Santa Clause? Is it a one time thing? Can it really last forever?
Discuss.
I think it does, just go to a retirement home and find one of those couples that's been together for the past 40-50 years. The thing with people today is that we want everything right away... instead of taking time, we want it to go straight from lust to love. Doesn't work like that, it has to be given time to mature. Sorta like wine.... (or milk, if you're a divorcee )
Yeah, it exists, but the neuro-chemicals in the human brain that are the primary force behind it cannot sustain the intensity that they do during the first few months of what you describe as "deep love". So unless both people involved in the initial stages of infatuation and / or lust are mature enough to allow the relationship to evolve - thats right, I said evolve into a healthier version of what they both felt at the beginning, then it will cease to exist. And fortunately for the human race, that is the way it works. Nobody could possibly maintain the high adrenaline, endorphine based existence that is romantic love past the first intoxicating stage that usually lasts a few months to as much as two years. It is neuro-chemically, pyschologically and emotionally not possible. However, the next phase if both people are able to transition into it can be just as rewarding if the work and effort required of it is possible. The alternative is a break-up and one or both partners seek out the next high from a new relationship that is prone to all the exciting and passionate (sometimes illogical) feelings that the first one did, although it will by natural law meet the same fate as the other relationship if it does not become the boring, everyday, mature bonding associated with long term relationships.
We are but flesh, and flesh is the weakness. Nature has given us the ability though to take something that initally brings two people together in the throes of passion, lust, infatuation- whatever you want to call it and turn it into something else if both people are compatable. MRI studies have been done on subjects that after being interviewed were determined to be "in love" and then on cocaine addicts, and in the tests, the same regions of the brain lit up when a subject was shown a picture of their "love" interest as did those parts of the brain when cocaine addicts were high. Most people that have sought help for love addiction or addiction to another person (former lover) have described the same symptoms of behavior when in a relationship with the other person as drug addicts exhibit when using and similiar symptoms of withdrawal of the "drug".
The human brain also release certain chemicals related to bonding during and after intercourse so in some cases, just the act of having sex itself with a partner will biologically increase the desire to be with them wheras it would not exist int he absence of any intimacy. True love in its purest form is no different from insanity in many ways and realistically, the human race might not have survived it's first few thousand years if as higher evolved primates there was not some basic and yet illogical need to mate and create more humans. At the same time, if that period of initial attraction and all consuming "love" did not have a natural ending when one's neuro-chemicals become burned out and cannot sustain the magnitude and depth of what an all powerful and timeless attraction to another requires, manking would have never evolved past the stone age. We would have instead spent most of our waking hours (even while ignoring obtaining food and shelter) seeking out the euphoric feeling associated with the touch of another that culminates in an orgasm.
I forgot where I got this quote but it is "Romantic love is mental illness. But it's a pleasurable one. It's a drug. It distorts reality, and that's the point of it. It would be impossible to fall in love with someone that you really saw.”
The inital stages of infatuation and over-valuing associated with finding a new love interest are at their roots illogical and irrational and lack any basis in reality, but we still crave the feeling as well as the other person feeling the same way and even narcissistically wanting the other person within the parameters of a romantic relationship to reflect or mirror back a facade of ourselves that we wish to exist but can find nowhere else. Romantic love is a co-conspiracy between two parties that are unable to get what they want out of the real world and seek to find it in the fantasy based and illusionary realm of romance. Both staring into the eyes of the other, so totally convinced that they have found that one unique person, so different from all of the rest.
Now that doesn't mean that I'm opposed to the drug known as love. Having a profound understanding of the benefits and risks that come wtih playing with it, much like fire - I've managed to harness that powerful force while at the same time not letting it get out of control or affect more of my life than I want to, but I would never lie to myself or the woman I am with and pretend that the emotion known as romantic love has any meaning outside of what we as humans have been programmed since the birth of time to use it for. I would on average rather have sex with a woman I am "in love" with rather than one I am not, but I can equally enjoy sex devoid of any emotion as much as I can enjoy spending time with a woman I love but not having sex with at that moment.
So yeah, it exists. But so do rollercoaster rides. It just does not ever last - at least not in the form that initially draws two people together.
good post, yes there is deep love-- it exists, but not like in the movies. deep love is best expressed by action--- not gazing in your eyes and whispering sweet nothings. women confuse romance with love. often love is cast off, ignored, even taken with contempt and definitely taken for granted. deep love can often be identified by its features, meekness, humility and purity , which is the exact opposite of the hot, aggressive, confident, lover-- idealized in the romance. takes about 5 years post divorce to realize this, "you dont know what you got til its gone" joni mitchell sing it!. a string of cheap romances instead of deep love--is a bad trade.
Yes, deep love really exists. I understand why some cynics would say otherwise, though. Someone who has spent their entire life in darkness would naturally reject the idea of light.
Yes, I believe it exists. I am very honored to feel that kind of love for someone, and to have that kind of love in return.
The love is very different feeling than the romance we have with each other, the lust we have for each other and our friendship. We have all of those things and they are wonderful, but the undercurrent of the depth of our love is something we don't take lightly.
Just came across this thread- read Skydive Outlaw's post & it really had some excellent insights. So I'll add my 2cents, though not as eloquently put together.
I believe deep love is a soul mate connection. It's a relationship that meant to be & both partners know it. They feel a deep love at all levels for each other- physical, spiritual, emotional & intellectually also. They GET each other, even when nobody else does. So does deep love really exist- yes. In soulmate relationships especially..
Last edited by believe007; 09-15-2011 at 07:32 AM..
And if you've never found your soul-mate, you'd naturally poo-poo the very idea. Naturally, you'd be cynical about it.
And I think that's the catch 22; the more close minded & cynical someone is, the more they lessen their odds of finding that soulmate/deep love connection
Location: Everybody is going to hurt you, you just gotta find the ones worth suffering for-B Marley
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It does exist but many are so busy looking over their shoulder to see what they're missing that they become blind to what they have beside them. Thus, the saying, You don't know what you have til it's gone.
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