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Where on earth in this whole thread do you find any indication of this whatsoever? How horribly embittered you sound, you poor thing!
i wasn't stating my interpretation of the facts he presented, i was instead sharing my experiences (and observations of outcomes) with such situations.
Maybe you should just ask her at the end of your third fake date if she feels safe enough with you to consider dating you for real. The honest approach might work better than other approaches.
So I basically have to keep doing what I've been doing thus far? There's no guarantee that I will get what I want, though. What if I never do? What if it ends up the way my other flings with girls have: strong and amazing at the beginning & then she finds someone else and leaves me for him? (This has happened to me twice in the past 3 years)
I know my heart can take it if it happens again, but I really, really don't want it to. I want things to work out for me for once.
How would I know when she's "ready" to date or wants me to ask her out on a date? What if I ask & she says no? Like I said, I don't want my heart to have to take pain again. I want to be successful with a woman at least once.
Here's why this feels so uncomfortable: you are being forced to "act" a lie and do something false in order to satisfy these conditions of hers.
She was damaged because of bad choices she made in a past relationship. She got intimate with a guy too fast. Either she knew he was a sleaze, or she was fooled into sleeping with a sleaze. But in either case, it sounds like she had sex before she had spent enough time getting to know this guy. That was her mistake. Not dating him. If she were to say about new relationships (including this one with you), "I would like to date you and see where this goes. With regards to physical intimacy, that's not something I even consider until I have taken the time to thoroughly get to know the person I'm dating," then that would have been one thing. In fact, that would be a pretty wise thing.
But to say you can't even pretend to like her or show that you're dating until you're "friends" for awhile first? That would never work for me. I know you are scared of "losing" her, but in truth, if she's not ready to date (you or anyone else), then you have no chance of "having" her as a girlfriend to begin with. You will just waste your time and get hurt in the end. This will be your third date. If things go well, I would talk to her seriously at the end. Tell her clearly that you have no expectation for physical intimacy in the immediate future, that you don't want to even think about that until you two really have gotten to know if this is right, but that you also aren't okay with pretending not to even like her, pretending these aren't even real dates. Tell her that you would like to date her for real, but that if she isn't ready for that sort of relationship with a man, you will understand.
Do NOT agree to just be platonic friends, if that isn't honestly how you feel. Do NOT agree to keep "fake dating" if that is not honestly how you feel. If you give away all your power and lie down in the road to get run over, you can't complain later how you're treated. Act assertively now. And in truth, women are not usually attracted to spineless men they can walk all over. If you don't value yourself at all, why should she?
Do NOT agree to just be platonic friends, if that isn't honestly how you feel. Do NOT agree to keep "fake dating" if that is not honestly how you feel. If you give away all your power and lie down in the road to get run over, you can't complain later how you're treated. Act assertively now. And in truth, women are not usually attracted to spineless men they can walk all over. If you don't value yourself at all, why should she?
Read over all this stuff & 'twas interesting. Just ended a long Gchat conversation with the girl as she's home & I'm at work.
I'm just going to go out with her & have fun & see where it goes. When I feel the moment's right, I'll do what needs to be done. Either it will work or it won't & then I'll move on from there in whatever direction is necessary.
Case closed.
Fun times tomorrow is all I'm looking for. Just get to know her & have her get to know me.
When I feel the moment's right, I'll do what needs to be done.
But what if the two of you get past this fake date stuff and eventually you find yourself in the position where the two of you are going to have sex for the very first time.....and as she is on her back and you are about to enter her for the very first time she looks at you and then says:
"Whoa there buster....I said OK to this but I want the FAKE penis!!"
lollol
At counter at pizza parlor..."May I please have two slices of pizza to go....the fake ones"
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