Is there such a thing as being too forward? (dating, how to, women)

[k374]

When it comes to asking a girl out is there such a thing as being too forward? or do women actually like it? What about online dating? If two people have never met but talked on the phone and the guy wants to take the next step and sends her a message "I'd like to start dating...", is that too forward, too direct? do some women like that? Or do most women prefer a more subtle approach?

Personally I have never tried the more direct approach but i'm just wondering...

[stepka]

Well you have to have a certain amount of directness or nothing would ever move forward. However, yes there is certainly such a thing as being too forward. Do this: take one little step of directness and gauge her reaction. Does she seem interested? Then take another step. If she doesn't seem interested, either stop or use another tactic but don't keep pressuring someone who is clearly not interested.

I think it's perfectly fine to tell someone you want to go on a date, or to tell them you'd like to see her again after you've had one, but I don't think it would be appropriate to tell a woman that you'd like to start dating after one phone convo. I mean, what if you don't feel like seeing her again but she likes you? I would find it weird.

[Checkered24]

Depends on specifics. However, having met someone on a dating site, I do not think it would be a susprise to the other person after some online/phone interactions, if they go well, for you to suggest meeting for a date.

You have to be forward sometimes.

[k374]

Originally Posted by stepka

but I don't think it would be appropriate to tell a woman that you'd like to start dating after one phone convo. I mean, what if you don't feel like seeing her again but she likes you? I would find it weird.

but isn't that the whole point of dating...to find out if you want to be in a relationship with the other person? dating does not imply any sort of continued commitment, or does it? "I would like to go out on a date with you" is functionally the same as "I would like to start dating" since going out on a date implies a possibility of further dates if the first goes well.. but the 2nd statement does seem too forward?

[PurpleTulip18]

Urgh, Internet dating... Always a bad idea. If you must, asking a girl out after the first phone call is actually better. Neither of you waste any time that way. You like her phone voice (visa/versa) go out on a "lets see" date. Something neutral so you can get to know eachother more. If she's a decent human being she'll let you know she doesn't want to go out again, or not. Go on a friendly meeting and then ask her on a real date at the end of the night if all goes well.

[supermanpansy]

It depends on the situation. Unless in a bar situation, where people hit on people fast without any first conversations, it could most likely take a girl a little too by surprise if you just came up to her out of nowhere and asked her for a date. I think you try to gauge the situation like someone else said. Start slowly talking to her and look to see if you can make eye contact with her and try to feel the situation out more. Don't ask right away. I always thought of this as the best approach. If she is not interested after a few conversations, or is never giving you any eye contact, than chances are she is not interested and you would most likely know. Being too direct can scare anyone off. When taken off guard people who might even be interested usually don't know how to respond.

When you take a little time and subtley have conversations with her, this gives her or him the time to think about you and possibly develop a crush on you themselves. Then when you ask them out, by then they will have eventually evaluated weather or not they would like to get to know you more.

I've had girls out of the blue ask me out without ever speaking to me, and always my first impression was not good. It's because they never gave me the time to gauge my own interest in them. It can even sometimes render you speachless, because you just didn't see it coming. however, if someone is starting to talk to you here and there, most likely you will start to wonder why and will start to think and evaluate them. Then when the times right, and he or she asks you out, most likely you will not be totally taken aback and surpised and instead if you will already have figured if you could date this person or not.

Hope this helps.

[the minx]

Originally Posted by k374

but isn't that the whole point of dating...to find out if you want to be in a relationship with the other person? dating does not imply any sort of continued commitment, or does it? "I would like to go out on a date with you" is functionally the same as "I would like to start dating" since going out on a date implies a possibility of further dates if the first goes well.. but the 2nd statement does seem too forward?

Do not say "I would like to start dating." that sounds very uptight and almost robotic. Reminds me of Borat or something.

[Timmyy]

Yes

[Mikala43]

Originally Posted by spinx

Do not say "I would like to start dating." that sounds very uptight and almost robotic. Reminds me of Borat or something.

Ain't that the truth.

[CArizona]

I prefer humble and modest men versus arrogant men who assume that every woman wants to date them!...But if a man couldn't muster up the courage to ask me out this would be a drawback and a problem too...I wouldn't want to have to do all the "work" and "play mom" to a man either! I prefer men who can take the initiative when need be without coming across as arrogant or pushy!