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Good to see that this is the general consensus! I went on two dates recently with a woman, and when she said this in bed it was a total dealbreaker. I felt kind of bad about breaking it off though, but that was just too creepy.
Why couldn't you just have told her you don't like it and ask her to stop? I agree its creepy, but its just as weird to dump someone over something so easily fixed.
Most of the "secret" names folk have for each other are a bit weird when you get down to it, but essentially harmless - unless you extend the usage into public.
I can't envision myself calling my SO "Pumpkin" or "Sugar Plum" in a crowded restaurant. But my Puerto Rican ladyfriend calls me "Papi" - equivalent to "Daddy" - even in public, and somehow that doesn't sound wrong ...
Mamacita, mami, mommy, baby, babe, sweetie, sugar, little one, kid - many pet names seem to reflect a familial relationship, perhaps to mirror the intimacy and love associated with such relations.
Still, they all beat the pants off "Yo, beeyatch!"
I went out with this younger girl for a while, and she would call me daddy all the time. Kind of made me feel like a pimp, but still a little weird all the time.
In bed, I don't care. Call me daddy, santa, papi, Frodo...it's all good.
I was under the impression that was done only in the presence of the children...in which case, I see nothing wrong with it.
Well, I wasn't around in the 40's or 50's to actually see it, but the old movies have plenty of examples of it - most of which are NOT spoken in front of children. Usually it's the older couples doing it. I think once in my life I heard it in the real world, and my mind immediately flashed back to old B&W films.
Besides, if you call your wife "Mother", shouldn't you call your kids "Child"? And your pets "Dog" and "Cat"? I mean, people have gotten on me on this forum about the use of "female" - why would they tolerate "Mother"?
I went out with this younger girl for a while, and she would call me daddy all the time. Kind of made me feel like a pimp, but still a little weird all the time.
In bed, I don't care. Call me daddy, santa, papi, Frodo...it's all good.
Why couldn't you just have told her you don't like it and ask her to stop? I agree its creepy, but its just as weird to dump someone over something so easily fixed.
It's more what it meant, or at least what the phrase seems to mean, than just the fact that she said it. Plus, it was a second date, cutting it off is much more feasible at that point than "working through problems and talking about feelings and desires." There were other reasons too, but that was the turning point. Like, she seemed somewhat superficial and empty, and at both dinner dates she ordered the smallest thing and hardly ate it. I don't want to have to deal with the huge number of issues there.
Why couldn't you just have told her you don't like it and ask her to stop? I agree its creepy, but its just as weird to dump someone over something so easily fixed.
It is not so easily "fixed" and I'm not just referring to the use of the name "daddy" - most women with daddy issues won't use that name, the ones that do still won't have their issues fixed even if they stop using the name. It goes deeper than that (no pun intended) when there is a subconscious and underlying issue related to their daddy. The real one - the one that had sex with their mom and created them.
I've had a couple of relationships with women that had daddy issues although it took a while in both cases to figure it out and had I known what I did through months of experience and field research, then I would have gotten out sooner.
Take for example. . . I'll refer to her as Exhibit A. Her dad got too it first long before we met when she was younger, but with the help of her parent's pastor they covered the whole thing up, and her mother had three younger boys to take care of and a husband that made alot of money and could support the family, which meant no need to rock the boat. She grew up very wealthy, dad paid for everything even through college, trips to Europe, cars, all her bills (payment for services rendered I guess) and they maintain a weird kind of twisted emotionally incestual relationship well into her adulthood. While we were together, she told me a story of when she accidently walked in on her parents having sex and one thing rang true throughout her explanation of that experience. She seemed extremely jealous and envious of having seen that - and had ongoing issues of resentment toward her mother involving alot of things.
We orignally were together when we were younger: high school/college and then spent 11 years apart. When we got back together, her parents were out of town and she was watching their house and we stayed their for a few nights and one of the things that always struck me as odd was just how much she wanted to get Fd in her dad's office downstairs. It was weird. And her bedroom that she had over a decade prior when we were together looked the same as it did originally. Little girl wallpaper, plush animals around the room - it looked like a child lived in it, maintained exactly as it did when we were younger even though at that time it was weird since she was 17/18.
As things progressed during Round II, I would occasionally look at her cell phone if she was in the shower and see if other guys were calling or texting. There was one text from her dad (me and him were arch-enemies since day one) regarding us being back together and it said that her mom wouldn't be home that weekend and they needed to have a "good sit on the lap talk" about things. Which meant me, and the fact that I was getting her off harder, longer and better than the husband he hooked her up with a couple of years prior.
Dad invaded every aspect of her life, bought her vehicles, did her taxes (yeah at the age of 30), tried to tell her who to date, etc and she really seemed to enjoy it. At times I felt like she was cheating on me (at least emotionally and psychologically) with her dad. If we were together and he called her phone, when she answered, her voice would change to that of a 12 year old girl when she was talking to him. It was beyond weird. Aside from all of that, she had some kind of undiagnosed borderline personality disorder thing going on which I'm convinced was a result of early childhood unresolved trauma (thx dad) and no matter what I did, trips to Cabo, $4k earrings, paying attention to her 24/7, validating the facade of a false self she maintained, etc, it was never enough to compete with the great and mighty dad that ultimately had the key to her heart and it was impossible to break through and get to the woman inside of her because she was still stuck socially and emotionally at the level of a child.
I mean, she still slept with a giant red plush bear named "Sammy-Bear" and couldn't do anything practical that life required of her on a daily basis.
The sex (or F-ing depending on the night) was absolutely out of control and so I kept things going longer than it should have, but she was empty inside, devoid of any and all real emotion, compassion or empathy. She was a human trainwreck.
So when I hear the word "daddy" now, I run to the hills at this point because there is obviously way more going on then I could ever hope to figure out or fix without a psychology degree. And yeah, it's creepy. Creepier than you could ever imagine.
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