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Old 09-19-2011, 07:06 AM
206 posts, read 504,310 times
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so im confused as to how much time two people romantically interested in each other spend with each other after first having started dating. this guy i'm seeing seems totally into me when we meet up but he only ever wants to see me once a week on a weekend for a couple of hours. granted we have only been on 4 dates, but i'd really like to see him more...maybe once every 2-3 days...he does text and call during the week though and is attentive when i talk and asks the right questions...he talks about someday introducing me to his family and how it feels as if he had been looking for someone like me for a while...so if he likes me so much, given how we dont live so far away- 40-50 min drive, why doesnt he make more time to see me? why doesn;t he see me more than just once a week?

how often do you see people you first start to date? what factors determine your decision? does the frequency change after a while?
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Old 09-19-2011, 07:20 AM
9,449 posts, read 6,615,498 times
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I have been dating a guy for about 3 months now and we see each other every 1-2 weeks over an entire weekend, but that is because he lives more than 2 hours away and I have a child at home so we have to plan. That said, we talk and text every day and have since our first date.

That said, I do not consider us a "committed couple." That decision is several more months or perhaps a year down the line. Dating other people has not been discounted.

How old are you guys? Are you sure he wants a monogamous relationship?
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Old 09-19-2011, 07:21 AM
Location: St Thomas, US Virgin Islands
24,673 posts, read 35,119,951 times
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I don't see that there is any one answer as people obviously differ so much from each other not only where their schedules are concerned but where their emotions are likewise. BUT, it does seem to me to a little odd that you've dated four times but he only sets aside just two hours a week to spend in your company. That's hardly enough time for a relaxed dinner date - more a "grab a burger and run" scene.

Why don't you ask him when next you have a date? It's not a taboo subject which must be avoided ...
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Old 09-19-2011, 08:42 AM
8,497 posts, read 7,613,700 times
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^That's what I was thinking. Ask him.

I know that some people's attraction takes off really fast while other's are just *meh*

Sounds odd that you both don't communicate anytime during the week.
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Old 09-19-2011, 02:07 PM
Location: NY
8,052 posts, read 8,074,916 times
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There is no set number of times per week to date. I would say it depends a lot on the individuals situation. Work schedules, distance, other obligations, etc.

When I first started dating my fiancee, we saw each other about once a week for a couple weeks, moved to twice a week, for a couple weeks, and increased from there as we got to know each other and grow our interest.
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Old 09-19-2011, 02:54 PM
1,728 posts, read 2,166,827 times
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Same situation, I recently got into a relationship and she lives about an hour away from me. I see her maybe once every two weeks, but when she comes up to visit, she usually stays for 2-3 days at a time. I would love to see her more often, but I work close to 50 hours a week, plus I recently got a condo and that whole process is taking a significant amount of time, but she understands that.

But to answer your question, it differs. 50 minutes may not seem like a lot to you, but its 2 hours of driving, maybe more with traffic.

My question is, why does he have to make the effort to see you. Why don't you go over there yourself and see him? This goes both ways.
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Old 09-19-2011, 04:02 PM
10,999 posts, read 8,213,253 times
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What is his schedule? Does he complain he has no money for gas?
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Old 09-19-2011, 04:06 PM
Location: Mile High City
12,469 posts, read 13,844,558 times
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When you both want to see each other you should. If you like each other, I would think as much as possible...
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Old 09-19-2011, 04:06 PM
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When I'm dating someone? She typically wanted to see me every other day, and sometimes every day of the week. That didn't bother me really, I like knowing someone wants me around.
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Old 09-19-2011, 04:22 PM
946 posts, read 1,633,163 times
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I think once a week is perfectly fine, but I have more of an independent mind where I don't really need to see the other person often. Besides, it's best to leave more to the imagination and mystery in the beginning, it will keep things interesting. Don't worry about the frequency of your dates but rather the attention he gives you. If he calls and texts and everything seems fine, there's nothing to worry about. Don't fix what isn't broken .
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