Life Goals (dating, girlfriend, marriage, men)

[PurpleTulip18]

I'm about to turn 31 this year and I keep hearing alot of talk regarding life goals. For instance, my girlfriend tells me last night that she can't find a guy with a 5 year plan anymore. (getting a house, wanting a family).

Is this the majority consensus on this age group? I've had a 5 year (even 10 year) plan since before I graduated high school and just assumed that everyone did... Without goals life is so pointless.

[purehuman]

I've never set up "goals" in my life.....too many times I've heard people say "Oh, we can't have a child untill he/she finishes this first",...or As soon as THIS is done, we'll do that......If you know what you want , then you can pursue that at the same time as you're living the hear and the now...."goals" are so easily broken.....just enjoy life and try to live it in the way that gives you the most joy.

[PurpleTulip18]

Originally Posted by purehuman

I've never set up "goals" in my life.....too many times I've heard people say "Oh, we can't have a child untill he/she finishes this first",...or As soon as THIS is done, we'll do that......If you know what you want , then you can pursue that at the same time as you're living the hear and the now...."goals" are so easily broken.....just enjoy life and try to live it in the way that gives you the most joy.

I absolutely agree with the bolded area. I think maybe some people are so set on doing this before that, but I was just looking to see what the majority of people on here thought. Life isn't set in stone (like i told her) but I guess maybe some people think that just because a guy they meet doesn't have a set timeline that they are not ambitious. Who knows.

[TaoistDude]

Life has a way of happening while you make other plans. That's not to say that plans aren't useful - they are very useful in support of thoughtful goals.

In my 20's and 30's, my plans included being financially responsible, saving and investing, marriage and children, home ownership, career development, and peace of mind.

In my 40's, it was more about finalizing a divorce, making a new home for myself, dating, establishing a much better new relationship, being more adventurous, and trying to restore financial stability. I managed to keep my peace of mind, thankfully. Now it's about enjoying a wonderful relationship, maintaining my career, and managing assets to be able to retire in comfort as well as travel more.

[JordanJP]

I need a 5 year plan? Wow.

I plan on having my own place, my own car, and a decent job. That's about all I can say without speculating even more, and even then, plans generally get messed up 3 years into the 5 year plan anyway.

[cpg35223]

Well, there's a huge difference between having broad goals in life and having a plan.

A goal is something nebulous, a dream. A plan is how you'll get from point A to point B. Sure the plan will have setbacks. Sure the plan will have detours along the way. So you just revise the damned plan. And keep moving forward a little at a time, whether you want to be a millionaire, live in Costa Rica, or whatever else your heart desires. And people who say that it's impossible to plan are just lazy copouts.

People who have vague goals, or none at all, tend to drift. It's sort of like having a goal of financial independence, but continuing to blow one's money. They don't have a reason to wake up in the morning, and they don't have a purpose to their days.

Another great example? People who want to be writers. You see them at writer's conferences. You talk to them in writer's groups. They all have this wistful dream of writing a bestseller. Yet, they show up year after year not having written more than a few pages in the interim. Meanwhile, the life of a working writer, the one who lives by a plan, is that of grinding it out day after day, one or two pages at a time. That's the difference between a goal and a plan.

Life has a way of sneaking up on you. A goal without a plan is going to remain an unfulfilled goal. And people who reach the end of their days without accomplishing a single thing they wanted in life tend to be bitter, deeply unhappy people.

[sierraAZ]

Originally Posted by cpg35223

They don't have a reason to wake up in the morning

What's your reason for waking up, Cpg?

[JordanJP]

...My reason for waking up in the morning is that the sun shines right into my ****ing window



lol

[Opsimathia]

Originally Posted by PurpleTulip18

I'm about to turn 31 this year and I keep hearing alot of talk regarding life goals. For instance, my girlfriend tells me last night that she can't find a guy with a 5 year plan anymore. (getting a house, wanting a family).

Is this the majority consensus on this age group? I've had a 5 year (even 10 year) plan since before I graduated high school and just assumed that everyone did... Without goals life is so pointless.

Mmmm...I think that is just called losers. Probably why they are single.
I think at that age range the left overs are just plodding through hoping they won't get rejected for being a slacker because it worked alright in the last decade. Some wise up and get it together. Some don't. Or men who just want to play and don't want to lie generally don't have a plan because they are ok with where they are at and don't desire anymore. Not everyone wants to buy a house and raise a family.

[sierraAZ]

Originally Posted by JordanJP

...My reason for waking up in the morning is that the sun shines right into my ****ing window

lol

You're lucky to have some reason! I have black-out shades. Usually the alarm wakes me up to remind me I have to go slave away. So, that's my reason.