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I knew about the marriage previously. What I did not know was that they had a relationship, albeit FWB, at the time and decided to do that. I was led to believe they were just friends and that had stopped being friends due to him getting involved with someone.
The other stuff, I understand where people say "the past is the past" and that people all have things they regret.
However, we are talking about lots of risque pictures floating around the internet, postings and such on websites, possible prostitution activities and other risky behavior.
I was snooping because the relationship is serious, and we moved in together. I never felt I was getting the whole story, so, like an idiot, I did this. I am kicking myself, because it is tearing me apart from the insides.
I was snooping because the relationship is serious, and we moved in together. I never felt I was getting the whole story, so, like an idiot, I did this. I am kicking myself, because it is tearing me apart from the insides.
I'm sorry to hear that...I really am....I was kidding of course in my earlier reply but seeing how you say its tearing you apart inside just made me feel sadness..
I'll leave advice to the others here who know much more then I do but I hope things somehow work out for you and with her...
But with that said I try to live with that saying "Honesty is the best policy"
When you snoop, you have to be ready to deal with what you find. It appears that you weren't ready to snoop. If you feel differently about her now, end the realationship. If not, then forget about what you found and continue the relationship. I find that we are who we are and we don't change behavior much over time; same behavior, different strategy.
If I were you, I wouldn't feel bad about snooping. Your intuition led you to be suspicious that she's not being truthful. If you had followed your intuition sooner, you wouldn't have moved in with her. So, you did the right thing. A little late but not too late. At least you didn't marry her.
I wouldn't care if a guy I am seriously dating or in a relationship with does some digging into my past. But then, I am a TMI kind of person.
I don't even know how to explain this, but, I had some concerns about things she may have been involved in before we met.
She has mentioned things, but I have never really heard the whole story. They involve some kinky escapades, as well as a "convenience marriage."
Anyways, I found some things that have led me to believe that I wasn't told the whole story. Also, some of the things I found are a bit disturbing, and make me question if I want to be in this relationship.
Otherwise, our relationship has been totally amazing.
For me, I think the snooping was in an effort to double check about some things that I have been uncomfortable about since the start.
Should I confront her with what I know? Should I ask and see how she responds? Should I come clean about the snooping and tell her what I discovered?
We all have a freak flag that we fly occasionaly. We all have things that we would be embarrased to admit that we like or that is a "turn-on" I wouldn't worry much about it so long as it isn't TOO drastic.
Should I bring it up with her and see what she says?
Or how would you broach that subject?
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