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I actually don't envy the women in the case of being pursued. I imagine it would get annoying to have a bunch of randoms hitting up on you (pursuing you) when you have no desire for it.
Women, generally speaking, omit this option to make much of an impression because they would rather be pursued. Being able to choose when someone is worth the chase...much more preferrable IMO. Try to see it as a plus to have the ball in your court. You can present yourself as the gentleman, the goof ball, the smartypants, or everyone's favorite: the guy who just wants to get some. Assuming you are reading the signals correctly and that she is in fact, eye-balling you, you get to choose whether you would like anything to happen or not. Lucky you!
Men have the upper hand because they still traditionally propose marriage and marriage is supposedly more desired by women (even though there are exceptions).
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did somebody say cookies, yum yum
Nope! Nobody said cookies. Besides, you have more than enough buddies to feed you. What brings you back from lurking, btw? Did the lady have enough?
Men have the upper hand because they still traditionally propose marriage and marriage is supposedly more desired by women (even though there are exceptions).
In the majority of couples I know, the woman "hinted" or outright stated, or asked ("I'd like to know where all this is leading"), etc., etc....or they had outright sat down and had talks about it, before the man got down on his knee and "proposed."
Women have tons and tons of power in this arena...it just doesn't appear so, since the man is the one actually presenting the ring. And not even then, in some cases. I know couples who went shopping together for the engagement ring.
I think this is more likely among young and/or progressive couples, but I saw tons of this when I was in my 20s and that was 20 years ago, so this isn't really new, as far as I can tell. We have [/i] been passive (and have rarely been "surprised") when it comes to a proposal...and in fact, much of the time, they've initiated the idea, one way or another.
In the case where all the hints and outright talks (for those of us who are more progressive and equal) haven't yielded the results, then comes the ultimatum, not necessarily in a harsh way but simply for practicality's sake: "Okay, then I'm leaving."
We definitely do not lack power in this arena, if we're honest about it...
Because it's fun (for most guys I know) to pursue. Because it's fun (for most women I know) to be pursued. Not exclusively, however; it can be fun the other way around too. (A shy guy laughing at my jokes and ducking his head with his face blushing a little, oooooooooooooooh...soooooooo sweet and sekseh.) But the former is probably more common in our culture, at least overtly.
In reality, both are "pursing." It's a dance, basically. We women don't just stand there and wait for a man to chat us up. There's a lot going on behind the scenes that you don't know about.
Neither sex tries harder than the other. The pursuing dance is just that: our version of a mating dance, which is common to basically every animal on the planet, including humans, AFAIK.
You must be a women spewing this nonsense. It's not fun for everybody, for some people it can be downright intimidating. Hell for some men its a full time job. It can be fun depending on the women, but that's a totally diffrent story.
That's the way it is in all areas, dear... The one who wants something more is the one who has the upper hand; therefore, women have the upper hand in dispensing sex while men have the upper hand in proposing marriage. As any rule, there are exceptions to this one, too, but that's pretty much the way that cookie crumbles.
Exactly! There really is a balance for relationships to work, it's just some people refuse to get it.
You must be a women spewing this nonsense. It's not fun for everybody, for some people it can be downright intimidating. Hell for some men its a full time job. It can be fun depending on the women, but that's a totally diffrent story.
Yes, I am a woman, and I have seen that excited glint in a guy's eye when he's making his move, and from my experience it's definitely not nonsense.
If it's a "full time job" for you, that could be because of the type of person you're persuing, your own personality/outlook (negative) or both.
I've been in the arms of a man who was thrilling with having gotten that kiss and I know whereof I speak, even though I don't have testicles.
In the majority of couples I know, the woman "hinted" or outright stated, or asked ("I'd like to know where all this is leading"), etc., etc....or they had outright sat down and had talks about it, before the man got down on his knee and "proposed."
Well, to each his own, but I'd never do that.
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Originally Posted by Mikala43
Exactly! There really is a balance for relationships to work, it's just some people refuse to get it.
It seems to be a pretty simple and obvious concept. I don't know why so many in this country have such a hard time with it...
Yes, I am a woman, and I have seen that excited glint in a guy's eye when he's making his move, and from my experience it's definitely not nonsense.
If it's a "full time job" for you, that could be because of the type of person you're persuing, your own personality/outlook (negative) or both.
I've been in the arms of a man who was thrilling with having gotten that kiss and I know whereof I speak, even though I don't have testicles.
Um, did the kiss come before you agreed to whatever? I get what the poster you're quoting is saying. It can be a guessing game, sort if a shot in the dark when & before approaching a woman. Everyone here is saying oh yeah, do it do it. But there is a lot going on behind the scene as someone else mentioned.
Obviously guys look for indicators of interest, but just bc a woman smiles at you doesn't mean that she is interested. Approaching may not be fun for some men bc you don't know if the woman you're approaching is a b#tch or if she will be outgoing or if she was smiling just bc she is a friendly person. So in a way trying to maneuver through this can be daunting and a lot of work for guys. My approach is not to come from a place of wanting the thing between your legs or a date bc then the woman has the advantage.
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There's a lot going on behind the scenes that you don't know about.
