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Oh dear God, I'm leaving you alone tonight. You can come out of your room the very minute you want to be social again, young man.
(p.s. If you're missing out on anything in that scenario it's the comfortable familiarity that makes breaking it all up with something spicy so much fun. So there's really no need to be sarcastic.)
Which is pretty inequitable. That's a demonstration that costs them NOTHING. It inherently subordinates the man to a supplication of approval. Not only do they have to carry the load and bear the expense, we have to supplicate for the "privilege" of their companionship? I don't think so.
That is in essence the fallacy of the idea that women won't or shouldnt pursue. It PRESUMES that the value of the female's companionship is higher than the value of a man's companionship to a woman, which is of course not true. Women overestimate the value of their time and company, simply put. It also makes women come off as lazy and entitled, two really off-putting and ugly character qualities. You gotta lay some of your own skin in the game, sweetie. My time and company is just as valuable as yours.
JerZ just agreed with you that women companionship has more value and other women can agree as well. Like she said, try visiting Asia sometime and you might get a surprise. Can be culture, can be coincidence, but so far they have not made me wait until we are married or in a formal relationship to start taking the initiative, calling, contributing to expenses, doing sweet things, etc. I’ve seen those things right off the bat since date #1 regardless of who asked who or whatever. Give it a try.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dewdrop93
Have you ever been in a relationship with an American woman?
I’ve had until I started dating Asian and saw certain cultural differences that I found nice. Not saying American are bad, just different. When I visit the USA I date American girls and its fine. It’s not like the dinner will taste different or the event will be different. But you know how women see red flags if the man doesn’t pay, use coupons, doesn’t have a car, is broke, etc. and stop dating that man and don’t see him as relationship material, well, I don’t see American women as my kind of women when I see red flags too. We’ll continue hanging out and even going out but I leave it that way and move on.
Quote:
You make it sound like all American men lavish women with gifts, expensive dinners, phone calls every night, etc.
Not like that. Women have admitted they hold off on being nice to the guy all the way until he has passed the tests, probation period, whatever you want to call it because they want to make sure he is not in it for sex only, he’s serious, he’s a real man, he is generous, etc. which I totally agree and support women on that. Hey, nobody wants to be with someone who just wants to be with them for superficial/wrong motives, right? Women seem to forget guys also want to make sure women are not with them for the superficial/wrong motives (women who just want to score free dinners/wine/drinks/entertainment/etc.). Some women have said things like “Oh, I took care of the tip the other night…I did something cute for him…I gave him a call…” and then continue on saying they are married, they live together, or have gone out for a long time.
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Over there, the men are basically male prostitutes
Let’s see here. A prostitute is that woman who exchanges sex for something which is normally cold hard cash, drugs, or even shelter. The prostitute does not give the man cash, drugs, or shelter. She gets all those things and just brings sex and company to the table. Well, take a man and a woman where the man takes her out and takes care of her expenses pays for her stuff, romances her, and so on. She offers her company and sex. Hhhhhmmmm. Now, how about a different scenario where BOTH man and woman take the initiative, ask each other out, contribute to expenses, romance each other, etc. Sex may come to the relationship later on. I am talking about all the way from date #1 and not have her finally start to do something for him until they are married, living together, or in a formal relationship. Quite different.
Now, if men over there all they did was have her do it all for them: take the initiative, take care of all expenses, romance them, do the calling, etc. while they took their time to see if she was serious, good intentions, etc. and maybe have sex here and there, I think you get the idea. But a man just offering company and sex won't get too far as a woman who just offers that.
See, I find it nice for men to do all those things for women, I am not against it. What I have wondered is why it has to be one-sided in American culture and why women’s company is considered of more value than men’s. I am not saying it has to be the other way around, nope. I am saying I find it nice when it is not one way around or the other but when it REVOLVES AROUND BOTH, not just the woman. I am talking about BOTH being in the receiving end right from the start. But women find it bad. Pretty much saying “No, it should just revolve around us”. Hey, it’s their opinion, I have mine.
Quote:
Bee says to the flower: "No you grow some wings and meet me halfway. I'm not gonna do the work to get to you."
Flower says to the bee: {nothing. Just sits there looks content as other bees swarm around}
We know which bee did not get that flower's pollen.
</the end>
Lottamoxie,
If women are like the flower then, yes, it makes sense. Flower just sits there, right? How about meeting halfway? You know how women find it just wrong for men to not help around the house and ask men to do THEIR PART as a team, right? Why not see that team work since you start dating without making him wait until being married, living together, or being in a formal relationship?
JerZ just agreed with you that women companionship has more value and other women can agree as well. Like she said, try visiting Asia sometime and you might get a surprise. Can be culture, can be coincidence, but so far they have not made me wait until we are married or in a formal relationship to start taking the initiative, calling, contributing to expenses, doing sweet things, etc. I’ve seen those things right off the bat since date #1 regardless of who asked who or whatever. Give it a try.
I’ve had until I started dating Asian and saw certain cultural differences that I found nice. Not saying American are bad, just different. When I visit the USA I date American girls and its fine. It’s not like the dinner will taste different or the event will be different. But you know how women see red flags if the man doesn’t pay, use coupons, doesn’t have a car, is broke, etc. and stop dating that man and don’t see him as relationship material, well, I don’t see American women as my kind of women when I see red flags too. We’ll continue hanging out and even going out but I leave it that way and move on.
Not like that. Women have admitted they hold off on being nice to the guy all the way until he has passed the tests, probation period, whatever you want to call it because they want to make sure he is not in it for sex only, he’s serious, he’s a real man, he is generous, etc. which I totally agree and support women on that. Hey, nobody wants to be with someone who just wants to be with them for superficial/wrong motives, right? Women seem to forget guys also want to make sure women are not with them for the superficial/wrong motives (women who just want to score free dinners/wine/drinks/entertainment/etc.). Some women have said things like “Oh, I took care of the tip the other night…I did something cute for him…I gave him a call…” and then continue on saying they are married, they live together, or have gone out for a long time.
Let’s see here. A prostitute is that woman who exchanges sex for something which is normally cold hard cash, drugs, or even shelter. The prostitute does not give the man cash, drugs, or shelter. She gets all those things and just brings sex and company to the table. Well, take a man and a woman where the man takes her out and takes care of her expenses pays for her stuff, romances her, and so on. She offers her company and sex. Hhhhhmmmm. Now, how about a different scenario where BOTH man and woman take the initiative, ask each other out, contribute to expenses, romance each other, etc. Sex may come to the relationship later on. I am talking about all the way from date #1 and not have her finally start to do something for him until they are married, living together, or in a formal relationship. Quite different.
Now, if men over there all they did was have her do it all for them: take the initiative, take care of all expenses, romance them, do the calling, etc. while they took their time to see if she was serious, good intentions, etc. and maybe have sex here and there, I think you get the idea. But a man just offering company and sex won't get too far as a woman who just offers that.
See, I find it nice for men to do all those things for women, I am not against it. What I have wondered is why it has to be one-sided in American culture and why women’s company is considered of more value than men’s. I am not saying it has to be the other way around, nope. I am saying I find it nice when it is not one way around or the other but when it REVOLVES AROUND BOTH, not just the woman. I am talking about BOTH being in the receiving end right from the start. But women find it bad. Pretty much saying “No, it should just revolve around us”. Hey, it’s their opinion, I have mine.
Lottamoxie,
If women are like the flower then, yes, it makes sense. Flower just sits there, right? How about meeting halfway? You know how women find it just wrong for men to not help around the house and ask men to do THEIR PART as a team, right? Why not see that team work since you start dating without making him wait until being married, living together, or being in a formal relationship?
You are the king of blanket statements about women. Since you know how all American women think - why even bother talking to them . Then again, since you don't listen to what any woman says unless it affirms your way of thinking - I guess you don't really talk to American women. You just tell us how we feel and equate us to prostitutes.
See - a conversation is two way street. Sort of like dating. In dating, both parties are trying to get to know one another - feel each other out. The purpose of dating is to see if you are compatible with someone - if you connect. For me - this has to do with intelligence, sense of humor, common goals, in short - just compatibility. This has little to do with who pays, coupons (why you are obsessed with coupons, I have no idea), money, etc. I don't keep score on who has contributed more money, gifts, calls to the relationship. To me - that's immature and shows that someone is not relationship material.
I can't believe you are still equating women with prostitutes. Do you have any idea how incredibly offensive that is? Out of all the guys I've dated, I've slept with so few of them and I've paid for my share of meals as well. Of course, to be honest with you - it only makes you look like a complete idiot - so carry on. And you can say that I'm insulting you - that's fine. The way I see it - if you persist in equating dating American women to dating prostitutes, then you are an idiot.
The truth is - I kind of feel sorry for you. You are such a broken record - almost every single post of yours goes on and on about coupons (for the love of God - WHY!!!!), jobs, money, money, money, money, money... It's such a shame. You're really missing out on the big picture. Love isn't about being exactly 50/50. Love is giving. Love is fluid. Love is natural. Love is selfless. Love is so many things that you can't keep track of by using dollars and cents. And you don't get it. Then again - men don't get anything having to do with love. Hahaha - see - blanket statements are stupid and wrong. I get that - why don't you?
If women decide to be like flowers: stay in one place (the kitchen), and don't say anything, then we bees will gladly flock to them.
I feel like that's what I've been doing lately! Well, two places - sitting somewhere nursing my son and in the kitchen cooking and cleaning! My husband used to tease me before I had the baby that I was just the way he wanted me - barefoot and pregnant in the kitchen!
Location: The western periphery of Terra Australis
24,544 posts, read 56,047,835 times
Reputation: 11862
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dewdrop93
I feel like that's what I've been doing lately! Well, two places - sitting somewhere nursing my son and in the kitchen cooking and cleaning! My husband used to tease me before I had the baby that I was just the way he wanted me - barefoot and pregnant in the kitchen!
Haha, I'm joking of course, but yes, throughout much of history that's probably what many women felt like.
You are the king of blanket statements about women. Since you know how all American women think - why even bother talking to them
Women seem to know all men too when they say men have no feelings, men are like dumb kids who don’t grow up, men just want sex, etc. Goes both ways.
Quote:
I don't keep score on who has contributed more money, gifts, calls to the relationship. To me - that's immature and shows that someone is not relationship material.
It’s not about keeping score but simply noticing how the other one is just sitting there for the free ride (women) or just there for sex (men). Women have agreed they make men jump through hoops pretty much until the guy is finally “approved”.
Quote:
if you persist in equating dating American women to dating prostitutes, then you are an idiot
Prostitute offers company and sex. A girl who just sits there for the free ride and only offers company and sex, well, you get the idea. Don’t get mad with me, get mad with women for just leaving it all to the man all under the name of chivalry or tradition and they just get to offer company and sex. Should I get mad at women for saying lots of guys out there are just in it for sex? Nope. They are saying something that does hold some truth.
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The truth is - I kind of feel sorry for you. You are such a broken record - almost every single post of yours goes on and on about coupons (for the love of God - WHY!!!!), jobs, money, money, money, money, money...
Because it is a topic women have brought up and consider terrible for men to do among many other things that women find unacceptable for a man to do or lack which interestingly women don’t measure themselves with the same rule. Women want men to do all kinds of things they are not willing to offer. It’s like a man that expects his wife to take care of all house chores while he watches tv all day but not lift a finger to work as a team. How bad is that?
I told women before how when they go out with a girlfriend nobody feels entitled to anything and they enjoy a nice day out at whatever place without keeping score. One buys lunch, the other dessert or vice versa, one takes care of the whole expense, the other one takes the next one and what not. Then I asked them why can’t they do the same with the guy they are going out with? And they were all like “oh, that’s different…no, a man has to convince me he’s a good man…” I don’t understand the entitlement, that’s all.
Look what I wrote to Lottamoxie. Do you agree?
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