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Yeah, there is alot wrong with being desperate. It's pathetic, and women can sense that. Women initially want a man that is a challenge and that they might think on some level that they are unable to secure, and it helps if you are confident, have self esteem and give the impression that you are not going to surrender your life, sanity and soul to just any woman that decides to acknowledge your existence. If a woman thinks that you are that way, she will not be into you, because your own lack of self worth and willingness to settle for anything, inherently means that she is just anything that came along and paid attention to you. So when a guy is desperate, which once again equals pathetic, a woman will not be interested because her own subjective value of herself will be diminished if she is with a guy that would have on any given day, once again, surrendered his life, sanity and soul to just any woman. And most women think they are special and unique and need to be with a guy that is more than likely not desperate to assist in validating their own (and at times incorrect) valuation of themselves.
Furthermore, but avoiding guys that are basically desperate (aka pathethic), they lay a foundation early on in the relationship by preventing the guy from getting too close. Desperate guys get too close and they do it quickly. Some call it love. I consider it to be a temporary form of insanity or self hatred. Anyway, if a woman allows that to happen with a guy that is emotionally and sexually desperate, she knows that it makes her eventual exit strategy from the relationship harder when she finds someone better in the future. If she is with a guy that isn't a totally desperate tool box, and she transitions (cheats, leaves, etc) into a better deal at some point, he will be able to deal with it and recover as well as
more or less letting her go. In the same scenario with a desperate guy, she runs the risk either during the exit strategy or related logistical tactics associated with leaving or cheating, or triangulating the situation with a new and better guy of causing the desperate guy to hang on. That could range from innocent and simple texts or calls professing his love, or trying to work things out to a complete full fledged-desperate guy breakdown that could include hanging on or stalking.
So being desperate is not a good idea, unless you find a woman that is so incredibly not even close to being hot, lacks a sex drive and is too lazy to pursue a non-desperate guy or anyone else for that matter - than you might find the right one. At that point, be prepared to surrender your manhood, personnal autonomy and life goals to that which you might have spent years wishing for and trying to obtain. . . . . . a relationship.
Columbus set sail and found what to him was a new continent, Napoleon conquered over 75% of Europe, and a vaccine for smallpox was created in less time than it takes the average desperate male or any male to find what it is he seeks out in his own ideal and perfect version of a woman and/or a relationship, yet like great discoverers, conquerers and inventors they forge forward with the tenancity of a garden slug trying to make his way across a football field, and the determination of a madman locked in a concrete reinforced cell trying to chip his way out with a safety pin and a pair of tweezers.
There are better and more rewarding battles to fight and goals to achieve than the, at times fatalistic journey to the utopian realm of being in a relationship and in love where two bodies come together in the ultimate and timeless act of uniting parts of their bodies in the hope of having it feel really good for a while. And such is the fate of humanity. Hundreds of years from now, humans will all be doing the same ridiculous stuff, pursuing members of the opposite sex as if our lives depended on it, and dedicating the best years of our lives to the possibility of being "in love" or the next orgasm or both, and when technologically adavanced aliens land, they are going to laugh their asses off at how little this species progressed because for the most part, we were and always will be focused on that primitive and unexplained need to be with someone else physically and or emotionally. In that sense, mankind isn't even out of the stone age yet, although I doubt women during that era had to get their nails done, go tanning, get breast implants or chat on their cell phones all day.
If I'm with someone who's desperate, it means to me that in his mind he's "settling" for the first warm body to come along. I'm not going to be with someone who views me like that.
yeah but women even hate, despise desperate when the man is only just interested in her, like the man is not settling for her because he is just taking what he can get, but he actually wants her.
it sends a message that other people have found you undesirable.
Now that's an eye-opener to me (the desperate guy at 25 a long time ago).
I always figured desperation was proof a person could not keep their emotions in check, hence they were weak (and in a man's case unmasculine by logical deduction). Never even THOUGHT of it as proof of undesirability.
Then again, I can understand how, say, a virgin who is well into his 20s or 30s but doesn't want to be can be very desperate. I mean, he's waited long enough, and there doesn't seem to be much hope on the horizon for change. So how does this person not appear desperate even though he is really, really desperate?
Or just plain anger. Being angry but not targeting innocent people (which is how I got over a bitter divorce and started dating again). It shakes up the status quo.
Yeah, there is alot wrong with being desperate. It's pathetic, and women can sense that. Women initially want a man that is a challenge and that they might think on some level that they are unable to secure, and it helps if you are confident, have self esteem and give the impression that you are not going to surrender your life, sanity and soul to just any woman that decides to acknowledge your existence. If a woman thinks that you are that way, she will not be into you, because your own lack of self worth and willingness to settle for anything, inherently means that she is just anything that came along and paid attention to you. So when a guy is desperate, which once again equals pathetic, a woman will not be interested because her own subjective value of herself will be diminished if she is with a guy that would have on any given day, once again, surrendered his life, sanity and soul to just any woman. And most women think they are special and unique and need to be with a guy that is more than likely not desperate to assist in validating their own (and at times incorrect) valuation of themselves.
Furthermore, but avoiding guys that are basically desperate (aka pathethic), they lay a foundation early on in the relationship by preventing the guy from getting too close. Desperate guys get too close and they do it quickly. Some call it love. I consider it to be a temporary form of insanity or self hatred. Anyway, if a woman allows that to happen with a guy that is emotionally and sexually desperate, she knows that it makes her eventual exit strategy from the relationship harder when she finds someone better in the future. If she is with a guy that isn't a totally desperate tool box, and she transitions (cheats, leaves, etc) into a better deal at some point, he will be able to deal with it and recover as well as
more or less letting her go. In the same scenario with a desperate guy, she runs the risk either during the exit strategy or related logistical tactics associated with leaving or cheating, or triangulating the situation with a new and better guy of causing the desperate guy to hang on. That could range from innocent and simple texts or calls professing his love, or trying to work things out to a complete full fledged-desperate guy breakdown that could include hanging on or stalking.
So being desperate is not a good idea, unless you find a woman that is so incredibly not even close to being hot, lacks a sex drive and is too lazy to pursue a non-desperate guy or anyone else for that matter - than you might find the right one. At that point, be prepared to surrender your manhood, personnal autonomy and life goals to that which you might have spent years wishing for and trying to obtain. . . . . . a relationship.
Columbus set sail and found what to him was a new continent, Napoleon conquered over 75% of Europe, and a vaccine for smallpox was created in less time than it takes the average desperate male or any male to find what it is he seeks out in his own ideal and perfect version of a woman and/or a relationship, yet like great discoverers, conquerers and inventors they forge forward with the tenancity of a garden slug trying to make his way across a football field, and the determination of a madman locked in a concrete reinforced cell trying to chip his way out with a safety pin and a pair of tweezers.
There are better and more rewarding battles to fight and goals to achieve than the, at times fatalistic journey to the utopian realm of being in a relationship and in love where two bodies come together in the ultimate and timeless act of uniting parts of their bodies in the hope of having it feel really good for a while. And such is the fate of humanity. Hundreds of years from now, humans will all be doing the same ridiculous stuff, pursuing members of the opposite sex as if our lives depended on it, and dedicating the best years of our lives to the possibility of being "in love" or the next orgasm or both, and when technologically adavanced aliens land, they are going to laugh their asses off at how little this species progressed because for the most part, we were and always will be focused on that primitive and unexplained need to be with someone else physically and or emotionally. In that sense, mankind isn't even out of the stone age yet, although I doubt women during that era had to get their nails done, go tanning, get breast implants or chat on their cell phones all day.
Most desperate people don't have a whole lot going on. They aren't very interesting. Being desperate means you are waiting for someone else to fulfill you, which is an impossible and thankless job most people don't want.
If you are truly desperate, you need to regroup, and switch your focus. You are 23, so you have plenty of time to fix this. Decide to make yourself the best person you can be. Work out, take classes, advance your career, travel, develop some hobbies, volunteer to help those less fortunate, etc. Once you become the best you can be women will be attracted to you. Best wishes.
Most desperate people don't have a whole lot going on. They aren't very interesting. Being desperate means you are waiting for someone else to fulfill you, which is an impossible and thankless job most people don't want.
If you are truly desperate, you need to regroup, and switch your focus. You are 23, so you have plenty of time to fix this. Decide to make yourself the best person you can be. Work out, take classes, advance your career, travel, develop some hobbies, volunteer to help those less fortunate, etc. Once you become the best you can be women will be attracted to you. Best wishes.
it pisses me off that men have to be like this but women don't have to be
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