Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Haha, didn't mean to give off that impression. I just want to have a good relationship, that's all.
Worse comes to worse, at least I learned a valuable lesson here: if a girl wants to be "just friends first", I have to run like hell, no matter what.
I'm the type of women that puts everyone in the "just friends first" zone, no matter how good looking-average-below average you are. My experience taught me to observe the person before allowing them into my life. Maybe we have different philosophy but I am not going to make the same mistake again. I am a very faithful and loyal kind of person. I put people's need above my own and serve people. I do want to have a good relationship too. Is it wrong to for me to put people in the "friend zone" first? Nope. I like to weed out the ones that are unhealthy before I allow them to grow root in my life.
So the girl & I managed to make a closing argument this morning, basically. I'm really never talking to her again.
However, it instilled in me this question: is it better to get to know someone as friends or to make it obvioius that you want a relationship and risk never getting to know the other person at all?
I think the latter is more important. I have plenty of friends, I don't need too many more. A relationship is something I've never had before & really want. It's okay if I miss out on knowing an amazing girl if I'm not going to go all the way with her.
It's more important to get to know her & then have a relationship than get to know her, become deeply attracted to her & NOT have a relationship because of her own issues and lack of desire for you.
What do you guys think?
i think the consensus back in that thread was clear: your whole "fake date" idea was lame, and it usually never works. if i'm wrong (possible that i've confused you with someone totally different), then please disregard this post.
anyway, i hope you've learned from this. it's always best to make your intentions known from the get go. and as you said, you already have plenty of friends. if you could get all of your needs (ahem) satisfied from them alone then why would you have bothered pursuing this girl (or any girl for that matter) in the first place? there's friends and then there's girlfriends...
So the girl & I managed to make a closing argument this morning, basically. I'm really never talking to her again.
However, it instilled in me this question: is it better to get to know someone as friends or to make it obvioius that you want a relationship and risk never getting to know the other person at all?
I think the latter is more important. I have plenty of friends, I don't need too many more. A relationship is something I've never had before & really want. It's okay if I miss out on knowing an amazing girl if I'm not going to go all the way with her.
It's more important to get to know her & then have a relationship than get to know her, become deeply attracted to her & NOT have a relationship because of her own issues and lack of desire for you.
What do you guys think?
I was thinking about this too. Its better if you are friends with her rather than nothing at all. I knew this guy and it was obvious that he didnt want a relationship with me and so because of that I said to myself if we are never gunna go out. I am out. But part of me felt rejected and hurt so thats why I reacted in that way. So I never got to know him at all . I regret that decision everyday. Trust me it only hurts you in the long run. When you are friends ya'll be something more later.
No, by relationship I mean RELATIONSHIP. It's exactly what I mean. That means sex + everything else that comes along with it.
I've never had one before, which is why I want one so bad. I want to be happy with someone else. Is that so much to ask for?
Probably.
No Soviet...it's not too much to ask for...not at all...when you meet a woman...it's ok to be friends but you have to let her know almost from the get-go that you're looking for something more exclusive...if they're not interested you'll know right away...and can then move on...good luck Soviet....there are a lot of women out there who're looking...just like you are.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
