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Psssst...our list is not bad and most of these guys who posts like they have it all and know it all, while claiming we're delusional, are in reality bitter and lying through their teeth. I'm not talking about lionking either.
Thanks, I am not bitter, just a little wacked in the noggin.
Here my train a comin'.....whoa was that my train that just passed by?
I have a love/hate thing about reading these threads where woman say what they want. It is interesting to read but on the other hand a lot of women make these crazy long lists and it just makes me think I could never live up to that and I am sooooo screwed. I think that is in part why I don't do dating sites or put that much effort in trying to date long term because I just can't live up to all that and wouldn't want to be reminded.
All these terms and conditions make me feel sub par, which is why I'd rather just meet somebody by chance who will see the real me and give me the vibe that is good enough.
You're already ahead of the game whether you realize it or not lionking. If I were single and not happily married, I would pay close attention to your kind.
Psssst...our list is not bad and most of these guys who posts like they have it all and know it all, while claiming we're delusional, are in reality bitter and lying through their teeth. I'm not talking about lionking either.
Haha I couldn't agree more.
Quote:
Originally Posted by lionking
Well read my thread on the "male cat lady" since I am into psycho analizing myself tonight and I'll say that long lists that describe a mister perfect will make me run because of fear of not being able to live up to it all, not just for your sake but because of self criticism also. That is to say, I have the mindset that I don't want to take the plunge until I know to myself I am capable of meeting all challenges and success is guaranteed. But of course that is never realistic.
A~ she wants affection...ok got that.
B~ she wants loyality, ok I got that
C~ she wants a man with goals, ok got that, personal goals anyway
D~ she wants a good looking guy....ok maybe got that depending on tastes
E~ she wants a man with a opinion....ok got that
F~ she wants a man who can fix things....I can't fix ****, I hire handymen.
G~ she wants a guy with diploma and has goals that he meets regarding...as in being a provider aka comfortable lifestyle.....well I don't make 70k a year and don't care to if it means giving up time vs money so she'll see me as a looser....
so.....I fail at F and G so it will never work with me and her so I won't attempt a relationship with her because in the end I'll be reminded of any short comings. That is how my mind works, and why long lists scare me away. But hey, we can be friends with benefits if you want
I am only 22, but I do know that I am passion about these issues (or lists) and I would like if he can relate to me. I prefer that we have same goals (or similar goals) so we can make a difference in people's lives. I am aiming my life to serve people, being engaged in social justice, and loving Jesus. I'm not radical, just to let you know. x)
Last year my list was completely different. I made sure he was tall, white, loves Jesus, dark hair, and most of them are not there anymore besides the loves Jesus one. It was all physical looks. I'll tell you that my eyes are set on any good-looking guy, but I know deep down inside that it will never happen, haha. The question was What Does It Take For You to be Attracted to a Man? and I only listed things that truly attracts me to him BESIDES looks and personality. The things you listed are quite common (IMO) so I didn't bother to list them.
Wow. Somebody's mad because he wasn't the "perfect man" he just explained above.
Why should I be "mad"?
I have no expectation that a relationship with a woman is ever going to amount to anything long-term and/or truly meaningful. Which, in turn, means I spend a lot more time being happy and enjoying life than my friends who are either pursuing women for meaningful relationships, or who are embroiled in nasty divorces.
I am only 22, but I do know that I am passion about these issues (or lists) and I would like if he can relate to me. I prefer that we have same goals (or similar goals) so we can make a difference in people's lives. I am aiming my life to serve people, being engaged in social justice, and loving Jesus. I'm not radical, just to let you know. x)
Last year my list was completely different. I made sure he was tall, white, loves Jesus, dark hair, and most of them are not there anymore besides the loves Jesus one. It was all physical looks. I'll tell you that my eyes are set on any good-looking guy, but I know deep down inside that it will never happen, haha. The question was What Does It Take For You to be Attracted to a Man? and I only listed things that truly attracts me to him BESIDES looks and personality. The things you listed are quite common (IMO) so I didn't bother to list them.
I am not saying you are wrong to have your "list". We all have one though some are more realistic than others. I am just saying when they are listed where I can read them like here, or on a dating site and I see a long azz list it deters me. It is just different to read a list compared to getting to know someone in person.
But then there is the X factor. The chance that someone that is way off your norm captivates you. I just read that Ann Coulter the notorious conservative talking head once got into a relationship with a known progressive liberal, hmmm go figure. Opposites sometimes attract? Though eventually they broke up.
BTW, there are different ways to trust and love in Jesus, some do it by church and association, some keep it personal and mostly private as a more intimate relationship which they believe is more pure and less prone to outside corruption by others opinions.
I am not saying you are wrong to have your "list". We all have one though some are more realistic than others. I am just saying when they are listed where I can read them like here, or on a dating site and I see a long azz list it deters me. It is just different to read a list compared to getting to know someone in person.
But then there is the X factor. The chance that someone that is way off your norm captivates you. I just read that Ann Coulter the notorious conservative talking head once got into a relationship with a known progressive liberal, hmmm go figure. Opposites sometimes attract? Though eventually they broke up.
In my case, we just sort of met in the middle and blended in...to this day, can't complain!
, we just sort of met in the middle and blended in...!
For some reason your comment made me think about bed time, and that not necessarily meaning sleep time
Which reminds me of another topic. The assistant guy at my dermatologist got into a "man" discussion with me a couple weeks ago. He talked about his wife complaining and threatening separation due to his snoring. I was like "really suggesting leaving you because of snoring after you two have been together for a couple years?"
At which time my female doctor and the other assistant who is female entered the room and picked up on the topic and it became two guys vs two girls haha! And all I have to say about that is women snore also, because I have known a couple who did.
I am not saying you are wrong to have your "list". We all have one though some are more realistic than others. I am just saying when they are listed where I can read them like here, or on a dating site and I see a long azz list it deters me. It is just different to read a list compared to getting to know someone in person.
But then there is the X factor. The chance that someone that is way off your norm captivates you. I just read that Ann Coulter the notorious conservative talking head once got into a relationship with a known progressive liberal, hmmm go figure. Opposites sometimes attract? Though eventually they broke up.
BTW, there are different ways to trust and love in Jesus, some do it by church and association, some keep it personal and mostly private as a more intimate relationship which they believe is more pure and less prone to outside corruption by others opinions.
Oh yeah, I definitely agree. The list is just letting the men know what I am interested in and finds attractive, so if we go on a date we can talk about it.
Once a long time ago I visited a dating site because I was very interested since this forum talks about it a lot. Throughout all the guys that I looked at, only 1 or 2 I was interested in while I dismissed the rest. I noticed that the reason I dismissed them was because they did not have what I was interested in: social justice, family (very important for me), and a quiet personality. It's also interesting that both of these men did not list their "ideal" date but just what they want out of the relationship. It got me thinking, perhaps, I should say something like that but make it known that I am not interested in one-night stand/FWB or whatever.
Also, I do agree about the Loving Jesus expression. We express our love for Jesus through different ways, and I do not expect them to be like me. For me, I see "loving Jesus" as someone who serves and fight for Justice. I won't dismiss someone if they show their love for Jesus through church and association or by personal quiet time. I just made it broad that loving Jesus trait is important to me.
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I am only 22, but I do know that I am passion about these issues (or lists) and I would like if he can relate to me. I prefer that we have same goals (or similar goals) so we can make a difference in people's lives. I am aiming my life to serve people, being engaged in social justice, and loving Jesus. I'm not radical, just to let you know. x)
