Constantly being flaked out on. (Valentine's Day, straight, versus, relation)
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Update: One of the women I wanted to date, I lost interest because I felt like she wasn't really serious about anything. I have found out she currently has a boyfriend as of a few days ago.
As for me, I have a college degree as of July 2012. Now I just need to keep looking for a job.
At this point in my life, as lonely as I feel, I have stopped caring. I've decided to just give it time. I'm not at an "I don't care" phase, but considering I hardly socialize anymore, I'm not haunted by such issues like I was when I started this thread.
I'm sitting at a table right now ppl! Flaked on number five in a row. Good guy, ask the girls in person, not pushy, so on and so forth. These girls now a days are worse than any guys out there. Time to be a jerk, I guess the good guys really do finish last.
At this point, I'm over the times when some of the women I wanted to date flaked out on me. I'm over it and not even thinking about it. I basically stopped trying after awhile. At this point, as much as it would be nice to have a girlfriend, to be loved, I'm concerning myself with other things. I am signed up for classes for the Spring 2014 semester. I stopped for a while. I might try again in the future.
At this point, I'm over the times when some of the women I wanted to date flaked out on me. I'm over it and not even thinking about it. I basically stopped trying after awhile. At this point, as much as it would be nice to have a girlfriend, to be loved, I'm concerning myself with other things. I am signed up for classes for the Spring 2014 semester. I stopped for a while. I might try again in the future.
To be honest with you when I was in my 20's I wasn't even concerned about dating, I just wanted to have a good time with the single life. I compensated by having a bunch of female friends so when we hung out together is was kind of like dating but they were just my friends. It was also a way for me to learn about women without the pressure of a relationship. I know many people will probably say that I took the easy way out but I figured that A) personally I wasn't mature enough for a relationship, that's not to say everyone is that way in their 20's. I know many 20 year olds that are more mature than 40 year olds. B) I needed to learn how to read signs and levels of interest without completely missing the boat.
You are always going to have women flake out on you no matter what, sometimes they are just too polite to say no and sometimes they are emotionally immature and they flake out because they get nervous. Alas, there are even times when women will flirt with you and lead you on just to test their game. Don't worry about it too much and try to make female friends but pay close attention, don't always put yourself in the friends zone.
I am looking at this thread a few years later. I got exposed to some MGTOW videos. Now , I take those videos with a grain of salt. However, it has kind of tainted how I look at certain things. At the moment, I'm pretty much of the dating scene. I have a job now and my financial prospects have changed for the better. However, I still find flaking out among some women. Now I am at a point where the majority of single women are 25 or younger, and there is still alot of "I wanna party and drink" left in some of them. This is annoying because it means more flaking out, via morning hangovers.
Looking at myself now, versus then, I am much less patient. I have no time for crap. Either said woman wants to hang out or she doesn't. I hate when my time is wasted. I think it is more the trust factor that bothers me more than anything. If I can't trust someone, that hurts alot.
I think the average first date flake rate is over 50 percent. That's why it's best to have at least 2 set up just in case. You have to understand a lot of women will give a guy her number, agree to the date but when the day actually comes it's like "do I really want to get dressed up and go out with this guy who I'm kinda on the fence about? nah. I just won't show up"
I think the average first date flake rate is over 50 percent. That's why it's best to have at least 2 set up just in case. You have to understand a lot of women will give a guy her number, agree to the date but when the day actually comes it's like "do I really want to get dressed up and go out with this guy who I'm kinda on the fence about? nah. I just won't show up"
To put this in perspective, I pretty much stopped when I graduated from college.
I think in these terms. If she doesn't want to show up, the least she can do is let me know. Call me, or at the least, give some kind of consideration and pick up the phone. I would do the same thing. If I change my mind, I am going to call and say I can't show up.
This period in my life, I am not around many people. Work has pretty much reduced my social life. For this reason, I don't get out much. The weekend is the #1 time I can get out and do anything. And given metro Atlanta is balkanized and spread out, it's a long distance to travel. I pretty much can't get much lined up because I have much less access to single people than I did years ago, when I created this thread. And the majority of people I'm around, between work and where I live, are married with children, or have children, so my social life is also limited by that.
And with flaking out, it is not even just being indecisive about wanting to go on a date. It's about at least having the consideration to say "I'm not up to it tonight". For me, it's about honesty and being able to trust someone.
I am not seeking sex. I actually want to be loved. I am not interested in sex right now. That can wait until I'm married and not a day before. It is my faith that gives me an incentive to wait until I'm married. I have made that commitment and I won't go away from that.
The reason I used text message is because I try to make a phone call. Half of the time, the person isn't picking up the phone. A text message seems to be the only way to get in contact with the person because any phone call I make seems to get ignored. I keep getting told "text me".
And I have tried to keep my end. I would make phone calls and leave a message. I would never get a message back. After calling over and over, I just give up and move on. If a woman is ignoring my phone calls, it isn't worth it. My question is, why is there such a flakiness?
If it's any consolation, we ALL get flaked on. Some of us would never do that to others. We are honest enough not to make plans with someone we don't want to spend time with.
Makes it extra hard when people do it to you.
You are getting flaked on for 1st or 2nd meets. Wait til you've dated someone for a couple months and then suddenly they are avoiding you!
Keep at it, and don't take it personally. You WILL meet someone who won't flake. Then you'll be here asking about some other issue in your relationship. This is NEVER easy.
Join some meetups or something to develop a social life, it will make your city seem smaller.
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