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Old 08-21-2007, 07:08 AM
 
Location: Brentwood, TN
8,002 posts, read 12,690,194 times
Reputation: 12194
Quote:
Originally Posted by L_A_Woman View Post
Respect for the elderly? Heck, these days, respect in general seems to be lacking everywhere.
Great response LA, I see a lack of respect everywhere. I remember when I was a kid I always addressed an adult as m'am, sir, Mr. Smith/Mrs. Smith, etc. - that seems to be disappearing, if not gone, nowadays. I'm teaching my kids respect.
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Old 08-21-2007, 08:13 AM
 
12,564 posts, read 11,011,102 times
Reputation: 7166
Quote:
Originally Posted by SDBreaux View Post
Let me start off by saying I am a young adult with a youthful 60-year-old grandmother. I was raised to respect your elders, no matter what I may think of them. What has happened to this society???

My partner's mother kicked her elderly parents out of her house when she remarried two months after her husband of 20 years passed away two years ago. Now they are living on a VERY fixed income in a very tiny apartment for seniors. They sold everything so they could spend their days with their daughter. They are sick, one of them has heart problems and the other is bordering on senile lately. Now we - the "grand" to the grandparents - are considering taking them in.

Why do people treat elderly like crap now? Don't they deserve more? I hope when I'm old my children don't stick me in a nursing home if I am healthy and can still function. The other day I saw a teenager slam the door on an old, had to be 80-year-old woman, woman.

unfortunately, some people do not know any better. and I believe they would be miserable people all the way around...maybe they had a falling out years ago, that the woman never forgot? and in the case of parents, there are a lot of spouses out there who just can't deal with the parents of their spouse. It is difficult living with someone, let alone bringing 2 more people into the house. What is good, is a home with a parents suite....

I live upstairs in the apartment of the home I grew up in...my mom lives downstairs..if I were not there, she'd have to go into assistant living...sometimes it is very difficult...but I'm glad I can be there for her....as she did so darn much and gave up so much for us....if I meant someone, then we'd have to make different arrangements....but I'm guessing she will not be able to leave until she absolutely has to. She is 90 now....almost blind...with many other health problems. I'm there for the duration. Love her whole bunches...

She was recently ill and in a nursing home for 6 weeks...when I'd visit her, I couldn't believe the many people in there who didn't even receive visitors...one lady's family never came the entire time my mom was there?????? I don't understand that?

I will say this, though, when I'm old and can no longer take care of myself...I'd much rather go into a old folks home then stay with my daughter in law...she scares me and she hates me...she hates herself...she hates everyone.....sheesh I'm serious....

I don't know why people are rude to the elderly, as they surely are a lot older and wiser b/c of their experiences...they also give a whole new meaning to patience....and I hate it when everyone talks like they can't hear you?

Last edited by cremebrulee; 08-21-2007 at 09:27 AM..
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Old 08-21-2007, 09:04 AM
 
Location: California
54,938 posts, read 11,443,568 times
Reputation: 34424
I had a thread in the retirement forum.
I posted a story about my dad,no one responded afterwards,it's sad


Living with your children
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Old 08-21-2007, 10:51 AM
 
Location: Dallas,TX
100 posts, read 203,004 times
Reputation: 80
Quote:
Originally Posted by SDBreaux View Post
Let me start off by saying I am a young adult with a youthful 60-year-old grandmother. I was raised to respect your elders, no matter what I may think of them. What has happened to this society???

My partner's mother kicked her elderly parents out of her house when she remarried two months after her husband of 20 years passed away two years ago. Now they are living on a VERY fixed income in a very tiny apartment for seniors. They sold everything so they could spend their days with their daughter. They are sick, one of them has heart problems and the other is bordering on senile lately. Now we - the "grand" to the grandparents - are considering taking them in.

Why do people treat elderly like crap now? Don't they deserve more? I hope when I'm old my children don't stick me in a nursing home if I am healthy and can still function. The other day I saw a teenager slam the door on an old, had to be 80-year-old woman, woman.
I agree, society has changed over the years. I am a senior in high school, and everytime I see an elderly person, I help them in any way possible. Whether it be open the door for them or whatever. I just have the mindset that the elderly person could have been a war vet that served his/ her country or could just be a normal person, regardless... ALWAYS respect and honor the elderly. I guess it just ties to parenting. Some parents teach their kids to respect the elderly, and some don't care because they don't respect the elderly themselves. I tend to get sad when I hear from an elderly person at a restaurant talking to his wife about the "young punks" of today. All I know is that I have NOTHING to do with those people who are rude to the elderly. I seriously wish that people could respect and care for the elderly a lot more than they do.
--Brandon
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Old 08-21-2007, 11:12 AM
 
Location: Tampa baby!!
3,258 posts, read 5,468,904 times
Reputation: 1706
Quote:
Originally Posted by mommabear2 View Post
I tend to respect everyone but especially the elderly. I have seen teenagers call an old lady driver a "b*tch", I have seen an old lady open a door just to have a young man cut in through the door (as if she were holding it for him), it's really lame. I can't say that I am 100% for "respect your elders" motto because sometimes those elders can be jerks and they try to take advantage of the young. I would be more apt to treating everyone with respect regardless of their age until they show you that they don't deserve it.
I agree totally. My children will be taught to respect all people, but if they come across someone that doesn't treat them well, then I will make sure they understand not everyone deserves the respect.

Also, maybe it's just me, but I have assumed if I come across a really nasty elderly person, maybe they are very angry with the world in general. I figure perhaps they feel they didn't get what they deserve out of life, therefore I will also teach them that a lot of the time when people treat you badly, it is more to do with their personal issues than with other people.
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Old 08-22-2007, 01:15 PM
 
Location: Utah
4,167 posts, read 7,787,213 times
Reputation: 3432
I was taught to respect my elders. I feel it is something that not all parents today are teaching the next generation.

I have a problem with patience. I tend to be impatient when it comes to dealing with the elderly.....but that is changing. My father is 74 and has cancer. He has slowed down both physically and mentally in the past three years. I hate seeing him struggle. If the day comes when he can't care for himself independently, he said he would move in with my brother. If that doesn't work out, he'll move in with me. I would use all of my money, resources and time to care for him until his dying day.
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Old 08-23-2007, 04:35 AM
 
Location: The Great State of Arkansas
5,949 posts, read 10,299,226 times
Reputation: 7141
Quote:
Originally Posted by bmantx View Post
I agree, society has changed over the years. I am a senior in high school, and everytime I see an elderly person, I help them in any way possible. Whether it be open the door for them or whatever. I just have the mindset that the elderly person could have been a war vet that served his/ her country or could just be a normal person, regardless... ALWAYS respect and honor the elderly. I guess it just ties to parenting. Some parents teach their kids to respect the elderly, and some don't care because they don't respect the elderly themselves. I tend to get sad when I hear from an elderly person at a restaurant talking to his wife about the "young punks" of today. All I know is that I have NOTHING to do with those people who are rude to the elderly. I seriously wish that people could respect and care for the elderly a lot more than they do.
--Brandon

Brandon, you sound like you respect everyone unless there's direct evidence to the contrary......that is SO lacking these days, and it's refreshing to hear a senior in high school who has the wisdom to know that folks older than him deserve respect for the most part, and not to get hysterical over the older folks who refer to all kids as "young punks".

I don't think I'm elderly yet (well, there are days that I wonder).....but it is a strange and bewildering world for those of us who are baby boomers. I'm afraid we might have created our own mess - the boomers generally are the generation who had more, and most parents want their children to have more than they did - and we ended up bombarding our kids with "stuff", but maybe not the real values they need. I am sure the "elderly", whatever age that is, are even more confused than I am. The world has changed so much - so much - that sometimes I feel like I'm really living in an age where I just don't belong. I can only imagine that feeling might intensify with age.

Okay, so I veered off for a moment - my intent was to compliment you, Brandon, on your very mature stance. You have obviously been raised right and are a bright young man. Carry on!
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Old 08-23-2007, 07:12 AM
 
12,564 posts, read 11,011,102 times
Reputation: 7166
Quote:
Originally Posted by mjb68-19 View Post
Great response LA, I see a lack of respect everywhere. I remember when I was a kid I always addressed an adult as m'am, sir, Mr. Smith/Mrs. Smith, etc. - that seems to be disappearing, if not gone, nowadays. I'm teaching my kids respect.

oh, you are so correct....you get reps from me darlin.
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Old 07-31-2009, 03:26 PM
 
Location: Indiana
326 posts, read 307,470 times
Reputation: 339
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sam I Am View Post
I don't think I'm elderly yet (well, there are days that I wonder).....but it is a strange and bewildering world for those of us who are baby boomers. I'm afraid we might have created our own mess - the boomers generally are the generation who had more, and most parents want their children to have more than they did - and we ended up bombarding our kids with "stuff", but maybe not the real values they need. I am sure the "elderly", whatever age that is, are even more confused than I am. The world has changed so much - so much - that sometimes I feel like I'm really living in an age where I just don't belong. I can only imagine that feeling might intensify with age.
Amen to that!

And, yes, also I feel, the world is changing too much, and that every year I belong here less and less... (and I'm only in my fifties!)
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Old 07-31-2009, 03:32 PM
 
Location: southern california
47,933 posts, read 43,389,049 times
Reputation: 38729
my favorite and i see it alot, so the old man leaves them plenty of money but then neptune society (cremation service) says if you scatter his ashes its $750 if you bury its $5,000, now its in the will bury him right?, they go with plan A everytime.
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