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Ive only had one "One night stand" in my life and that was when I was 19. If there was someone I was really into and I ended up sleeping with them it would not turn me off in the least. Humans are sexual beings and it would make no sense in blowing someone off based on one sexual incident. Now if this was some sort of habitual behavior it may be a different story.
I've slept with plenty of girls on the first date.
The only reason I called some of them back was for more sex.
Sure--we would go out on dates---but as always I had and ulterior motive.
Why would I get into a serious relationship with what I know is an easy lay?
Tramps=fun--not girlfriend material.
That's why I married my wife---we went 4 times before I even got a kiss.
MONTHS before I got even closer.
^^^ This is how I feel. Espescially as a woman. I will not have sex on a first date. Im sure there are people that have done this and later got married and all that. But for every story where folks slept together on the first date and still entered into a solid relationship, there are 10 stories for those that did not. And i feel that is because something just evaporates when you jump into bed too quick. Respect is lost..etc. Again, some folks on here say they dont feel any less about the person. But..like i said..for every story like that, there are 10 more where if you are the woman, you will be thought of as just an easy score.
What happened to getting to know a person? Sheesh some folks jump into bed and cant even tell you how to spell the other persons last name.
Simply NOT having sex on a first date wont guarantee you that a relationship will come from it. Of course not. But, I think more good than NOT will come from it if you wait...In terms of finding someone who wants you for YOU, and not cause he JUST wants to stick it in. And for women, I cant believe that they would do that. Not judging anyone. I say this because more often than not it will be the woman who gets the short end of the stick in this, no pun intended. All a lot of men want to do is screw as many women as they can get their hands on, and move on to the next one. Why make it so much easier for them to do this? As a woman, i know I can pretty much get laid whenever I want. I want to find something that has the potential to be REAL..not just some booty call. THAT's the hard part.
^^^ This is how I feel. Espescially as a woman. I will not have sex on a first date. Im sure there are people that have done this and later got married and all that. But for every story where folks slept together on the first date and still entered into a solid relationship, there are 10 stories for those that did not. And i feel that is because something just evaporates when you jump into bed too quick. Respect is lost..etc. Again, some folks on here say they dont feel any less about the person. But..like i said..for every story like that, there are 10 more where if you are the woman, you will be thought of as just an easy score.
What happened to getting to know a person? Sheesh some folks jump into bed and cant even tell you how to spell the other persons last name.
Simply NOT having sex on a first date wont guarantee you that a relationship will come from it. Of course not. But, I think more good than NOT will come from it if you wait...In terms of finding someone who wants you for YOU, and not cause he JUST wants to stick it in. And for women, I cant believe that they would do that. Not judging anyone. I say this because more often than not it will be the woman who gets the short end of the stick in this, no pun intended. All a lot of men want to do is screw as many women as they can get their hands on, and move on to the next one. Why make it so much easier for them to do this? As a woman, i know I can pretty much get laid whenever I want. I want to find something that has the potential to be REAL..not just some booty call. THAT's the hard part.
I come from a different culture. We don't generally date people we don't know. We have groups of male and female friends. You know who you are sleeping with because you have hung out with them as friends.
American culture doesn't seem to work like that so i understand a reticence about sleeping with someone on the first date...you simply don't know them.
Cultural differences on the internet lead to a lot of misunderstanding.
Silly.
But if I did find that out, then we'd be getting a divorce the next day.
Wow. So you're saying: "Until death do us part...unless I found out that you didn't tell the truth about the number of people you banged once upon a time (or just didn't mention it), despite the fact that I slept around just as bad if not worse." Nice.
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Originally Posted by StaggerLee22
I never hurt any woman.
Verbally or physically.
Lets not mention that you must have hurt people emotionally. Every womanizer has.
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Originally Posted by StaggerLee22
I NEVER ONCE told a girl I loved her so I could get in her panties.
In fact, on more than one occasion, I've had to tell a girl that I DIDN'T love her.
It made me sleep better at night knowing I didn't mislead her.
You understand that some women (not all, but a good-sized proportion), emotionally interpret the act of sleeping together as a big fat "I LOVE YOU"? Even if rationally they know that's not true, emotionally they will often feel that way. That's why you had to explicitly tell some women you didn't love them...because you'd already misled them emotionally into feeling that you did. If you haven't realized that during or since all your dealings with women, then you don't understand women at all.
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Originally Posted by StaggerLee22
My wife knows about all the girls I've slept with.
Is she mad? Is she upset in any way?
No.
She too believes thats what SINGLE men {should} do.
Like it or not--we are pigs.
You are meat.
Anyone who believes that it's okay for men to sleep around (that indeed they should), while women should be bastions of purity is cracked in the head and is living with a sexual value system that belongs in a different century (and not the one immediately preceeding this one).
If you're going to say that women shouldn't sleep around, then the same goes for men.
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Originally Posted by StaggerLee22
They are living in a fantasy world where I'm the only man alive that did what I did.
Nobody's saying you're the only one, we all know many men do this (and some women too!). That's why the word womanizer exists. Nobody is saying that you're unique, just that your actions back in the day and your defense of them now are gross.
You understand that some women (not all, but a good-sized proportion), emotionally interpret the act of sleeping together as a big fat "I LOVE YOU"? Even if rationally they know that's not true, emotionally they will often feel that way. That's why you had to explicitly tell some women you didn't love them...because you'd already misled them emotionally into feeling that you did. If you haven't realized that during or since all your dealings with women, then you don't understand women at all.
And this is why I dont see how a woman can jump into the sack so easily. Women attach a bit more emotion to the sex act. This is why i think its a bad idea to jump into bed too quickly..ESPESCIALLY as a woman. You are setting yourself up. A guy can bang you, leave, go have a beer with his buddies and forget all about you. A woman will go home and dream about the guy.
I also agree that men shouldnt get a pat on the back for being a wh-res, while a woman will be villified for doing the same thing.
And this is why I dont see how a woman can jump into the sack so easily. Women attach a bit more emotion to the sex act. This is why i think its a bad idea to jump into bed too quickly..ESPESCIALLY as a woman. You are setting yourself up. A guy can bang you, leave, go have a beer with his buddies and forget all about you. A woman will go home and dream about the guy.
I also agree that men shouldnt get a pat on the back for being a wh-res, while a woman will be villified for doing the same thing.
Agreed on all counts. I don't mind at all if men want women they date/marry/value to not be easy. But if that's the case, they damn well better live up to their own expectations - otherwise they're just huge hypocrites that think it's all justified because they happen to have a penis.
I come from a different culture. We don't generally date people we don't know. We have groups of male and female friends. You know who you are sleeping with because you have hung out with them as friends.
American culture doesn't seem to work like that so i understand a reticence about sleeping with someone on the first date...you simply don't know them.
Cultural differences on the internet lead to a lot of misunderstanding.
That's a great way to put it
There is a segment of American culture which sort of "works like" yours did, certain Christian teenagers.
Frequent individual dating is discouraged by their parents so they tend to hang in big groups and avoid being alone with the opposite sex. They wait till college for more serious dating and tend to stay connected to others with like beliefs even after they go on to college. I'd say of the kids I know who were raised this way, they go on to be more academically successful and more happily paired up in their 20's than others in their age group.
And this is why I dont see how a woman can jump into the sack so easily. Women attach a bit more emotion to the sex act. This is why i think its a bad idea to jump into bed too quickly..ESPESCIALLY as a woman. You are setting yourself up. A guy can bang you, leave, go have a beer with his buddies and forget all about you. A woman will go home and dream about the guy.
I also agree that men shouldnt get a pat on the back for being a wh-res, while a woman will be villified for doing the same thing.
So what's too quickly? What's the right amount of time before you should sleep with someone?
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