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I still can't believe men do that stuff it's uber creepage.
It totally is.
I mean, guy is next to you in line, you exchange hellos, he brings up a comment about something...the weather...the length of the line...anything at all, and you both start talking and as you're leaving the store he asks if you'd like to get coffee some time = not creepy.
Guy is in the asile next to you, just watches, you move to the next aisle, there is is like magic...still just watching = eeeeeeeeeeeeeeek.
I mean, guy is next to you in line, you exchange hellos, he brings up a comment about something...the weather...the length of the line...anything at all, and you both start talking and as you're leaving the store he asks if you'd like to get coffee some time = not creepy.
Guy is in the asile next to you, just watches, you move to the next aisle, there is is like magic...still just watching = eeeeeeeeeeeeeeek.
See, this doesn't bug me. I would smile at him and make clear eye contact and see what happens. Most likely, he will flee like his arse is on fire. He is too scared to say hi. I've been that shy person who thinks somebody is pretty before, lurking and peeking, but as a tiny little woman, people don't usually notice, let alone feel threatened or disturbed.
It's only when I'm leaving, if I have to walk through a dark area or between cars where others cannot easily see me or hear me yell, then I'll be on the high alert, in case someone is following me. But I'm pretty sharp on the situational awareness stuff, so I tend to notice everyone and everything around me in situations that could be risky.
See, this doesn't bug me. I would smile at him and make clear eye contact and see what happens. Most likely, he will flee like his arse is on fire. He is too scared to say hi. I've been that shy person who thinks somebody is pretty before, lurking and peeking, but as a tiny little woman, people don't usually notice, let alone feel threatened or disturbed.
It's only when I'm leaving, if I have to walk through a dark area or between cars where others cannot easily see me or hear me yell, then I'll be on the high alert, in case someone is following me. But I'm pretty sharp on the situational awareness stuff, so I tend to notice everyone and everything around me in situations that could be risky.
Well, what I'm saying is, no, it would not be attractive.
Well, what I'm saying is, no, it would not be attractive.
(To me.)
I don't think I'd find that behavior attractive, or unattractive. I can imagine an interesting looking person doing it, or a sketchy, scary looking person doing it. Surely though, since even a warm smile will likely not encourage such a soul to come talk to me, it's not conducive to making a connection.
It just tells me, "I admire something about you, but I'm also terrified of you." I feel compassion toward that person, since I have felt that "omg I wish I could just walk up and talk to that human, but I'm scared/shy, for some stupid reason ugh!" feeling before.
What gets me about the notion of any kind of attempt at romantic connection where it's cold approaching strangers in public settings like a grocery store, is just my thinking (assumption, really) that there's a very good chance they are not even available. I've spotted intriguing looking people, stole some glances, then saw their apparent SO come around the end of the aisle and up to them, before. Not only might they be taken, but their takee might be about to walk up right as you're trying to make your move. Awkward, huh?
Guess that's one thing I like about online platforms, you don't have to make a wild guess about that factor at least. Seems to knock at least one big potential obstacle out of the way in connecting with somebody.
I think I've only been followed a few times when I was in my 30s and traveled a lot. Each time I returned from business travel I'd do some fresh grocery shopping. A few times I noticed different women in my age range following me / looking at me. I assumed I had something on my shirt / shoe / jacket and soon after would check. They never said anything to me and I was usually in hurry to get back to my place and unwind.
Another time on vacation I had a guy following me and couldn't tell if I was of aesthetic interest to him, or if he was loss prevention staff. Once in another city while on vacation shopping at grocery store, a gay guy hit on me I politely declined.
Sometimes I think it's like a hilarious comic strip visual where I'm admiring a natural female beauty while some less visually desirable female is watching me. Sort of a "Who's watching the watcher" game of Spy vs Spy
There's few different types / reasons men will follow a woman:
1) you look nice to them and they don't see something that lovely on a regular basis (probably the majority of the instances)
2) You look familiar in a good way but they can not remember where they've seen you (a level of familiarity tends to do this to people - probably the second most often reason)
3) timed strategic glances and path crossing with friendly smile and hoping to strike up conversation
4) literal stalking leering / possible socially inept (scared of women and somewhere on the maladjusted spectrum) or outright sexual deviant / mental case
5) has the same shopping item list (probably the third most often reason)
I believe you. There's a noticable difference in from my experience how open a stranger is for conversation based on that alone.
49ersfan, you're a guy. Don't use the term "Uber creepage". That sounds really girly.
It couldn't hurt to at least be in a well put together well coordinated outfit.
As for what word to use...
Uber creepage Uber creepage Uber Creepage.
And I'm a man.
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