Seeking advice... (woman, husband, too young, attractive)

[Pimpy]

Originally Posted by fleetiebelle

Meh. It's fine to have fun in college, but it shouldn't be the "best years ever". That's sad. There's nothing worse than a 30-year-old overripe frat boy/party girl who hasn't grown up.

Most 30-year-old chicks I know who still act like sorority girls are chicks who DIDN'T live it up in college, usually because they were in serious relationships. Then those relationships end a few years after college and they decide they want to experience what they missed out on back when everyone else was having fun.

[Capt. Dan]

Originally Posted by NoDoubt1993

No, I don't think I'm sending off a desperation vibe (whatever that is). I've seen peers when I was in HS act "desperate"...fawning over guys, texting them, calling them...nope, not me. I'm very old school...a guy needs to make the moves, not me. I am quiet/shy...I think that has a lot to do with it.

As for the recommendation to start drinking...no thanks, I'll pass. I'm not even of legal drinking age...and I'm not a lawbreaker. And partying until the wee hours...who has the time? The only parties I even hear about are those were the kids are talking non-stop about drinking and getting lucky...that's not me. I also don't have a lot of time...I'm pulling a 4.0, and plan to keep it that way, lol. It's all I can do to keep up with school and personal obligations. The more I type, the more I think I see the problem...I don't have time, haha. Then again, for the right guy, I'd make time.

Hi young lady. Can you stand a word or 2 from an old man who raised 3 daughters?
1-forget the advice about drinking.
2-forget the "the guy has to do the pursuing." Thats passe and likely self defeating.
3-Decide what type of young man you would like to meet.
4-Find out which young men are on the Deans List.
5-Try to make a study date with him. You already have something in common. The Deans List.
6-It is okay to have a narrow focus on what type of young man you want. It is no different than focusing on and knowing what GPA is acceptable to you. In order to get that GPA you have to work towards it. Its no different in finding the right type of man. Sometimes you have to work at it.
Good luck young lady. Things generally work out well for young people who work hard and focus. You seem to be off to a good start.

[Pimpy]

Originally Posted by Capt. Dan

4-Find out which young men are on the Deans List.
5-Try to make a study date with him. You already have something in common. The Deans List.

I am all about advising this chick to seek out dudes with similar interests, but the Deans List is way too broad to be considered common ground.

"Hey, we have something in common. We both have GPAs over 3.25 (or whatever her school's arbitrary cutoff for Dean's list is)."

That just sounds weird. She'd be much better off getting involved in a few social groups that are in her areas of interest. That is how you meet people in college if you don't want to go to parties. It may take a little time away from her studying and her 4.0 may slip by a couple tenths of a point, but it would be well worth it.

[wordlife]

I agree, especially if she's staying on campus...there are plenty of activities to get into. The best thing about college is the networks that you can build. You never know who you or your classmates will turn out to be in the next 5 to 10 years. This is a very formative stage in your life right now..keep your focus but have some fun as well.

[CTR36]

Take the advice from Capt. Dan.
Also, me:
I used to be just like you. And I waited for the guy to find ME!
Guess who I wound up with:
A wonderful, respectful young man who doesn't drink, smoke, party, skirt-chase
Responsible, wonderful husband and now father
Treats me like a princess
Treats my daughter like a princess
Is a wonderful role model for our two boys
We have been married for 24 years
Dated for two
I am a successful CFO
Never partied in college
Take your time. Stick to your values and morals and you will be one of the very few
who will be happily married on this board in the future giving another young lady the very same
advice I am now giving you

P.S. You are beautiful. There is nothing wrong with you. And soon enough the right young man will recognize that.

[HurricaneDC]

Originally Posted by fleetiebelle

Meh. It's fine to have fun in college, but it shouldn't be the "best years ever". That's sad. There's nothing worse than a 30-year-old overripe frat boy/party girl who hasn't grown up and is trying to relive their glory years every weekend.

I agree, to have the fun of your life peak in your early 20s is pretty damn depressing, that leaves what another 60 years that won't measure up? To hell with that.

I second someone else's suggestion about drinking. Not getting hammered but even one or two beers can be enough. I'm like Jekyll and Hyde... sober I'm a pretty quiet, reserved person. Under the influence of alcohol I'm very social, a bit loud, pretty damn stupid (mainly with my words, not my actions, although I do cut a little rug), totally different really.

Still hasn't gotten me laid or gotten me a girlfriend but hey, I have fun. Heers to EtOH!

[Free Beer]

Originally Posted by Pimpy

There is more to college than graduating with a 4.0. Depending on what field you are in, a 4.0 can potentially turn OFF more employers than it turns on. Business is more about forging relationships than it is about book smarts, and a 4.0 can indicate you spent your college years with your nose buried in a book instead of out meeting people.

I got a 4.0 in my last semester in college and was drunk every night. GPA is meaningless except for entrance requirements to graduate school. Any employer asking what my GPA is/was isn't a place I'd want to work.

[Nite Ryder]

Originally Posted by Free Beer

I got a 4.0 in my last semester in college and was drunk every night. GPA is meaningless except for entrance requirements to graduate school. Any employer asking what my GPA is/was isn't a place I'd want to work.

Have you checked lately, you sound like you are still drunk. Being a drunk is nothing to be proud of.

[simplesouthernman]

Originally Posted by Pimpy

I am all about advising this chick to seek out dudes with similar interests, but the Deans List is way too broad to be considered common ground.

"Hey, we have something in common. We both have GPAs over 3.25 (or whatever her school's arbitrary cutoff for Dean's list is)."

That just sounds weird. She'd be much better off getting involved in a few social groups that are in her areas of interest. That is how you meet people in college if you don't want to go to parties. It may take a little time away from her studying and her 4.0 may slip by a couple tenths of a point, but it would be well worth it.

Sorry Pimp. But I would much rather one of my daughters set her sights on a Deans List member than a frat boy who thinks his contribution to society is to drink as many cans of Bud Light as he can so he can say "See how much aluminum I recycled?" If a young lady who is serious about her studies,as the OP seems to be, can find a young man who studies as hard as she does, she at least has found a man who has a decent shot at helping pave the way for a bright future. They can party later if they so choose. I think the Captain is right on this one.

[pkrplr1]

Originally Posted by NoDoubt1993

not sure it's even advice I'm after, but rather just a little encouragement.

Why am I having such a hard time finding a decent guy to date? I'm 18, a college honors student, friendly, somewhat shy, humble, down to earth, and relatively easy-going. I've been told I range from "cute" to insanely "hot" (ugh, lol), so I don't think it's my looks that put guys off. I'm thinking it's the fact that I don't drink, smoke, do drugs, or live the life of a party girl. I've been told I'm intimidating...I don't get that. While I am shy, I have been making a much more concerted effort to talk to people, smile, and make eye contact. And yet, I'm halfway through my first semester of college, and have yet to even be asked out...while friends and acquaintances have dates on Saturday night.

I'm not in a hurry to find a boyfriend...but I've always been the quiet type, and while I dated a few guys in high school, I was very focused on academics and family life. I don't feel like I "need" to have a boyfriend...I'm happy with my life, and school keeps me very busy. But I'd at least like to be able to dip my toe in the dating pool...I need the practice! I just don't know what I'm doing wrong...

Is there a big wart on you right cheek? If not then I don't see what the problem is. Do you like married, 50 year old, balding, overweight guys?

Seriously just relax and live your wonderful life and it will all work out just fine, I promise!