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I think the seeds of bitterness start when little boys reach an age where they're smarter than their mommies... But their mommies...and sisters...and teachers treat them like they're stupid beasts. Then, when girlfriends and wives start that same thing... with their words and actions predicated on the unspoken assumption that men are stupid and in need of being 'controlled' and 'guided'... that's probably the root of bitterness toward women.
.....well, in my case, the root cause of bitterness is that they don't seem to want me. Catch-22 much? LOLz
Have you ever like did therapy on yourself? Or go on a life-meaning search (whatever you call it) as to why you are bitter? Sometimes the roots goes deeper than just what you experience daily.
Have you ever like did therapy on yourself? Or go on a life-meaning search (whatever you call it) as to why you are bitter? Sometimes the roots goes deeper than just what you experience daily.
Well, I've thought about it. I grew up very well, I'm rather privileged. I went to one of the best schools in the world & I have tons of friends that I wouldn't trade for the world. They mean everything to me & I mean a lot to them.
In short, I've been really successful in my life. With one extraordinarily glaring exception: intimate relationships with the opposite sex. I've never had a girlfriend & every step I take towards that goal seems to end in failure.
It's just such a disconnect in my life: how I do so well in everything else, but so miserably in this 1 thing in my life. It's a bit shocking for me, I guess.
I won't lie: I was a "late bloomer". I started getting the itch to date later in life; which means I'm behind on the curve, I guess. But I still don't see how I could be this unsuccessful even after trying so much this year, you know?
I met a girl not too long ago & we were supposed to meet the other night, but something came up for her So that's not a great start, either, but I think we'll get together later next week. I just wish we could have gotten together last night.
Sigh. I'm just tired of the status quo & I want something new: success with a girl.
.....well, in my case, the root cause of bitterness is that they don't seem to want me. Catch-22 much? LOLz
Did I miss something? Is this a pattern through multiple relationships or just with one girl? I'm sure it can't be with all the women you meet... Nevermind...I see your response to another poster. FWIW don't give up hope on the overall project but try not to get too attached to each sub-project (individual woman) until you know you are getting the green light. (Sorry for the pmi language--I'm taking a class in that right now so it's on my mind and vocabulary)
LOL @ the last sentence. Now, as to the "people look out for their interests" vein of thought.....why the hell is it that it is in a girl's interest to be FRIENDS with me, but not MORE than friends? I mean, seriously? If you don't want to date me, then why hang out with me at all? Get a freakin' puppy if you want a friend.
Why do girls want guys as friends when they know the guy's attracted to them? Is it an ego stroke BS thing?
Maybe it's the girls you pick.
Guys pick these superficial toys and wonder why nothing makes sense.
Sounds like you've had a fair amount of success in life and lots of good guy friends??. Dealing with women is very different. I'd recommend a lot of study and a lot of patience and a lot of listening. Good Luck. 35 years I've been married and I'm still trying to figure out women sometimes.
Sounds like you've had a fair amount of success in life and lots of good guy friends??. Dealing with women is very different. I'd recommend a lot of study and a lot of patience and a lot of listening. Good Luck. 35 years I've been married and I'm still trying to figure out women sometimes.
Yeah, apparently it is. That's kind of sad when you think about it. Why do things have to be so difficult when 2 people have a chance to be happy together? Sigh.
Guys pick these superficial toys and wonder why nothing makes sense.
I agree it is superficial, but not always malicious. Sometimes women just really don't understand what it's like to be a man and to be really interested in a woman and have to go out on the line to initiate a relationship. Sometimes they think that making you a friend is actually kind. I realize it's not but lacking insight into men this is what we think, until we know better. There are a minority of women that do get ego strokes from having a puppy around, but these women are relatively rare and ultimately puppy's are high maintenance.
Well, I've thought about it. I grew up very well, I'm rather privileged. I went to one of the best schools in the world & I have tons of friends that I wouldn't trade for the world. They mean everything to me & I mean a lot to them.
In short, I've been really successful in my life. With one extraordinarily glaring exception: intimate relationships with the opposite sex. I've never had a girlfriend & every step I take towards that goal seems to end in failure.
It's just such a disconnect in my life: how I do so well in everything else, but so miserably in this 1 thing in my life. It's a bit shocking for me, I guess.
I won't lie: I was a "late bloomer". I started getting the itch to date later in life; which means I'm behind on the curve, I guess. But I still don't see how I could be this unsuccessful even after trying so much this year, you know?
I met a girl not too long ago & we were supposed to meet the other night, but something came up for her So that's not a great start, either, but I think we'll get together later next week. I just wish we could have gotten together last night.
Sigh. I'm just tired of the status quo & I want something new: success with a girl.
Hey, I'm a later bloomer too. I'm reading this article called The Truth about Ugly Ducklings and Late Bloomers--whether it is true or not, I find it quite interesting. Here's something from the article:
Quote:
Ugly Ducklings and Late Bloomers are often "unaware" of their physical beauty. Quite frankly, there are lots of beautiful people in the world who don't consider themselves as such. They are certainly cognizant of the fact that their bodies and faces have changed. But the evolution has been so natural that for them, beauty has become something of a "non-issue." In many cases, people considered late bloomers have become so accustomed to their previous looks, that the idea of their own attractiveness takes some time to "sink in." People who encounter Ugly Ducklings and Late Bloomers often remark on how down to earth these people are.
If you see my 5th grade pictures, you would think I haven't change one bit besides I look a little bit older....
My first serious "relationship" was at the age of 18. I wish I waited but I am thankful for it. I learned my lesson and know what I want next time. Right now I'm not even going to bother finding a guy because I have a lot to work on. I mean I see good looking people all the time but I just know it ain't going to work. I would just wait if I were you. We're always rushing ourselves. We feel "left behind" when that's not true. The more you put yourself in these situation, the more (IMHO) you become bitter and hopeless about relationships in general.
Last edited by ho hey!; 10-06-2011 at 10:32 PM..
Reason: TMI about my childhood.
male bitterness - comes from collective trauma, huge losses of assets and income from no fault divorce law (1975). to be specific 42 million divorces since 1975, 70% filed by women.
amazingly no remorse felt by women at all, because of the gloria steinem reeducation camp, per gloria, this is not ripoff or unfair in any way. the woman was entitled to file divorce and impoverish the man for no good reason at all, ladies choice. the good news we are on the mend. marriage is down 50% and falling. even an amoeba learns to avoid electric shock.
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So that's not a great start, either, but I think we'll get together later next week. I just wish we could have gotten together last night.
