Marriage Question (sociopaths, boyfriends, attracted, statistics)
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Personally, I value my child more than ANYTHING else in this world, so if I lost custody of her and was no longer able to have day-to-day interaction with her that would be totally devastating........ and "taken to the cleaners" in a big way!
My thoughts exactly.
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Originally Posted by QuickStudy178
I was exonerated and awarded sole custody and sole residency of my daughter. Yes, it was worth every bit of the misery, but not every guy can endure this.
I salute you for fighting for your child! I would love to see the day when more men fight for at least 50/50 custody and the law automatically assumes it.
good luck with all of your cuckolding goals in 2012....
You don't mind her having an affair?!?!?
You missed my point. I was resonding to the other poster who suggested I have my wife followed to see if she was cheating. He indicated it was so that I would have advanced notice her leaving me. I was just saying that if she were having an affair, it was more likely the kind in which it was just for the sex. Many people have affairs, with no intention of leaving their spouse. I never meant to indicate I was okay with her having an affair, just that there were no signs that my wife was intending on leaving me. Therefore no reason for the PI, as a preventive measure.
Not sure why you felt the need to insert the deragatory sexual comment? But I've learned if I reply to negative comments I get my posts deleted and get scolded by the moderator. So I'll just leave it at that.
When I brought this up my wife said that she thought it was very common for married couples to have this type of arrangement, where the wife goes out Fridays and the husband goes out Saturdays. I on the other hand think it's pretty abnormal for a married couple with 2 young kids to go out that frequently. And it's not like she goes to a happy hour from 4-6. She is usually out from 9 until the bars close at 2 a.m.
Even if it is out of the norm so what? Couples do things out of the norm all the time but if it works for them then that's all that matters. I would be more concerned over how much does it really bother you that she's doing this? Are her friends the kind who are morally challenged and will encourage your wife to do things she might not otherwise do alone?
Even if it is out of the norm so what? Couples do things out of the norm all the time but if it works for them then that's all that matters. I would be more concerned over how much does it really bother you that she's doing this? Are her friends the kind who are morally challenged and will encourage your wife to do things she might not otherwise do alone?
I don't really worry about what she might do while at the bar. I don't really know her friends well enough to know what their morals are. I think the bother was more from the standpoint that I felt this night out was becoming a high priority in her life. When I go out it's normally to do something specific like a band I really like is in town, or someone has asked to get together that I haven't seen in a while. I just felt that she should have been more sensitive to the fact that I'm in a new city where I don't know anyone. I would have felt guilty about going out every Friday and leaving her home, so it bothered me that she did not feel the same way.
I think the bother was more from the standpoint that I felt this night out was becoming a high priority in her life. When I go out it's normally to do something specific like a band I really like is in town, or someone has asked to get together that I haven't seen in a while. I just felt that she should have been more sensitive to the fact that I'm in a new city where I don't know anyone. I would have felt guilty about going out every Friday and leaving her home, so it bothered me that she did not feel the same way.
Have you tried expressing these feelings to your wife yet? I'm pretty sure she feels in her mind she's been fair to you since she offers to let you go out alone on Saturdays. So the problem I see here is you feel your being short changed while your wife feels she's being rather fair. Maybe you two can compromise and she can go out less.
Have you tried expressing these feelings to your wife yet? I'm pretty sure she feels in her mind she's been fair to you since she offers to let you go out alone on Saturdays. So the problem I see here is you feel your being short changed while your wife feels she's being rather fair. I think a little talk with your wife about this subject matter will do wonders.
Yes we talked and came to a fair resolution. She understood my feelings, and agreed to make more of an effort to find reliable babysitting. She also agreed to not make her Friday nights out an every week thing, but more like twice a month. This was mentioned earlier in the thread, but I wouldn't have read all 9 pages either.
Yes we talked and came to a fair resolution. She understood my feelings, and agreed to make more of an effort to find reliable babysitting. She also agreed to not make her Friday nights out an every week thing, but more like twice a month. This was mentioned earlier in the thread, but I wouldn't have read all 9 pages either.
Oops yeah I didn't read all 9 pages.
Glad to see things work out for you and it was just a small misunderstanding between you two.
Being "taken to the cleaners" can mean a lot more than just financially.
Personally, I value my child more than ANYTHING else in this world, so if I lost custody of her and was no longer able to have day-to-day interaction with her that would be totally devastating........ and "taken to the cleaners" in a big way!
The vast majority of men who ask for custody or joint custody get it. This is no secret. That's not being taken to the cleaners. It's called a little bit of effort.
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Well, to each their own, I suppose. If my bond with my child were potentially in jeopardy, you can bet that I would want as much advance notice as possible regardless of the expense of PI fees. My daughter means at least 1000 times more (conservatively speaking) to me than my wife ever did, but everybody is different.
Ah, I see you're divorced. That, or in a p*ss poor marriage. Yes, to each our own. What's weird to me won't be weird to you given that we're probably coming from two entirely different spaces as far marriages are concerned.
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Just separate?
Most guys cannot afford a full-blown 25 day divorce trial with 37 witnesses and 12 expert witnesses. And without a full-blown trial, the likelihood of a guy being awarded primary residency or sole custody of the children is hovering around zilch, unless his wife is seriously mentally ill (committable), a crack addict, or a prostitute, or unless she gives up the fight (extremely rare due to her practical desire to avoid having to pay her ex child support).
Therefore, the decision to separate should be considered very carefully. It's not like the guy can just get p*ssed off and chuck the marriage feeling confident that he is going to regularly see his children, unlike the situation women enjoy.
Frankly, if you are in a marriage where you decide to hire a PI, the two of you (husband and wife) are raising your kid in a crap environment to begin with. Really, it's the stuff of Jerry Springer. I could not fathom even wanting to be in a marriage like that, nor even getting myself into that situation to begin with.
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My own ex wife,...
After four solid years of court battles in five different courts (including a year when I was prison looking at 19 more, as a result of my ex's false allegations), and after spending over $2 million in legal fees, I was exonerated and awarded sole custody and sole residency of my daughter. Yes, it was worth every bit of the misery, but not every guy can endure this.
I can see why it would be normal for you. You married a nut. Clearly, you had/have your own issues because effed up people tend to marry other effed up people. And of course you assume that everybody else is like you because that's what people tend to do. I'm guilty of it. I assume way to much that people aren't screwy, at least on the net.
I salute you for fighting for your child! I would love to see the day when more men fight for at least 50/50 custody and the law automatically assumes it.
I think the law assumes that men have a working mouth and that you can move it and use it. The reality is that way too many simply don't want the responsibility of primary custody. Of course, on the net we don't like to deal with reality, only dreamy la la land where they're all rich George Clooneys.
The vast majority of men who ask for custody or joint custody get it. This is no secret. That's not being taken to the cleaners. It's called a little bit of effort.
In this country, the vast majority of men who ask for custody (meaning sole custody) do not get it (less than 1%). The vast majority of men who ask for joint custody get it, but in the vast majority of such cases mom is awarded physical (or primary) residency of the children and dad is awarded with a child support obligation and limited visitation (>90%). If you don't know this, you are totally clueless.
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Originally Posted by Braunwyn
What's weird to me won't be weird to you given that we're probably coming from two entirely different spaces as far marriages are concerned.
If you haven't had the pleasure of going through a highly contested divorce, then why are you speaking on that which you know nothing about?
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Originally Posted by Braunwyn
Frankly, if you are in a marriage where you decide to hire a PI, the two of you (husband and wife) are raising your kid in a crap environment to begin with. Really, it's the stuff of Jerry Springer. I could not fathom even wanting to be in a marriage like that, nor even getting myself into that situation to begin with.
Frankly, if you have not gone through a highly contested divorce, why are you presuming to make such generalizations?
And yes, I am quite sure that I was really "wanting to be in a marriage like that," and did everything I possibly could do to "get myself into that situation to begin with". Ya, riiiiiight.
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Originally Posted by Braunwyn
Clearly, you had/have your own issues because effed up people tend to marry other effed up people.
With remarks like this, I am beginning to think you are "effed up".
Consider this: Do you actually think every one of the 30+ women who walked off with Ted Bundy was naturally drawn to this psycho, because every one of them was "effed up" themself??? If so, then Wow! Your knowledge of psychopaths is seriously lacking, lucky for you, I suppose.
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Originally Posted by Braunwyn
And of course you assume that everybody else is like you because that's what people tend to do.
What are you referring to?
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