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I was recently banished to the zone and I hate it. If I had a choice, I wouldn't contact this guy since I can't have from him what I want. But I work with him at a small company and there's no avoiding him.
Previously, he was flrting with me, taking me out after work - to happy hours, then dinner, but we never had a real date outside work. I guess he figured I'm not the casual sex type, so that extra stuff stopped and so we're "just friends." (He is divorced with a kid.)
We're still cool. He ususally asks me to go to lunch with him, but doesn't do this with our other co-workers. There were a few times where we were gone for 2 hours! (Just chit-chatting, of course.) I go with him cuz the spark is still there for me and we get along really well. But, if it weren't for the fact that we're forced to see each other at work, I wouldn't choose to hang around in the zone torturing myself!
Would anybody choose to be "friends" with someone they're attracted to? Why? And - if you're the desired one, why would you keep this person around if you're not feelin them like that and you know that their only interest in you is romance???
maybe he's doing this because you didn't respond strongly enough for him to see that you're interested, and since you are coworkers he doesn't want to go for a "make it or break it" kind of closing so he choses to step back, inspite of wanting you.... otherwise I have never heard of a guy friend-zoning a girl.
I go with him cuz the spark is still there for me and we get along really well. But, if it weren't for the fact that we're forced to see each other at work, I wouldn't choose to hang around in the zone torturing myself!
gymRAT, we think alike.
Quote:
Originally Posted by SwedishViking
otherwise I have never heard of a guy friend-zoning a girl.
I have male friends that friend zone girls they're not interested in.
I was recently banished to the zone and I hate it. If I had a choice, I wouldn't contact this guy since I can't have from him what I want. But I work with him at a small company and there's no avoiding him.
Previously, he was flrting with me, taking me out after work - to happy hours, then dinner, but we never had a real date outside work. I guess he figured I'm not the casual sex type, so that extra stuff stopped and so we're "just friends." (He is divorced with a kid.)
We're still cool. He ususally asks me to go to lunch with him, but doesn't do this with our other co-workers. There were a few times where we were gone for 2 hours! (Just chit-chatting, of course.) I go with him cuz the spark is still there for me and we get along really well. But, if it weren't for the fact that we're forced to see each other at work, I wouldn't choose to hang around in the zone torturing myself!
Would anybody choose to be "friends" with someone they're attracted to? Why? And - if you're the desired one, why would you keep this person around if you're not feelin them like that and you know that their only interest in you is romance???
Sounds more like a friends with benefits situation.
Friendzone is more where the person likes you but thinks you're ugly.
Sounds more like a friends with benefits situation.
Friendzone is more where the person likes you but thinks you're ugly.
FWB involves sex. Friend zone is when the person wants to keep you around for ego stroking/emotional tampon & use you when they recognize that you are attracted to them & you want them, but they don't feel the same way.
Instead of being honest and cutting things off, they use you and manipulate you.
Worst human beings ever. *said in Comic Book Guy's voice*
I was recently banished to the zone and I hate it. If I had a choice, I wouldn't contact this guy since I can't have from him what I want. But I work with him at a small company and there's no avoiding him.
Previously, he was flrting with me, taking me out after work - to happy hours, then dinner, but we never had a real date outside work. I guess he figured I'm not the casual sex type, so that extra stuff stopped and so we're "just friends." (He is divorced with a kid.)
We're still cool. He ususally asks me to go to lunch with him, but doesn't do this with our other co-workers. There were a few times where we were gone for 2 hours! (Just chit-chatting, of course.) I go with him cuz the spark is still there for me and we get along really well. But, if it weren't for the fact that we're forced to see each other at work, I wouldn't choose to hang around in the zone torturing myself!
Would anybody choose to be "friends" with someone they're attracted to? Why? And - if you're the desired one, why would you keep this person around if you're not feelin them like that and you know that their only interest in you is romance???
So this guy still hasn't figured out that he is not going to get what he wants?
FWB involves sex. Friend zone is when the person wants to keep you around for ego stroking/emotional tampon & use you when they recognize that you are attracted to them & you want them, but they don't feel the same way.
Instead of being honest and cutting things off, they use you and manipulate you.
Worst human beings ever. *said in Comic Book Guy's voice*
That is why my #1 rule about the friend zone is walk away and cut that person off completely to avoid being used and manipulated and end up feeling frustrated.
So this guy still hasn't figured out that he is not going to get what he wants?
That's the thing - he doesn't seem to be pursuing me. I get the impression he doesn't want me. I pretty much followed his lead and I think my actions made it clear that I was interested, too, but for some reason he decided not to make a move. He started seeing another co-worker who works on a different floor, so I know he's not pursuing me. I just happened to run into them coming out of a restaurant one night. Otherwise I never would have known about them. They do a good job of keeping it on the DL. He dropped her hand when he saw me, though, and invited me out to get a drink with them afterward - Awkward!
I just don't get the behavior. However, I think Soviet is right and I'm just another go-to for an ego massage.
otherwise I have never heard of a guy friend-zoning a girl.
It certainly exists. I've done it myself.
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