is sexuality fluid? (date, women, therapy, attracted)

[Rlarson21]

I'm 34 and a gay male. I've known i was gay since i was a small boy. I'm very much gay and have never even felt a twinge of attraction towards the opposite sex until recently. I've started to find a few girls attractive in ALMOST a sexual sense. I've never been even remotely attracted to a woman before.

One of these women is Kelly Kelly, she's a blonde WWE diva. at work there is this one girl who i'm slightly attracted too, it feels like i'm attracted to her in a playful sense. I kinda like to bug her in a little kid sort of way and she does it back.

I'm still very much gay but why am i having these recent unnatural attractions towards women. Am i turning slightly bi?

I don't know if i could really go through with 'the act' if you don't know what i mean but up until now i never felt anything towards women.

could this have to do with the intense therapy due to childhood trauma that i've been going through over the past year. Much of this trauma has to do females. I've always had a little bit of hidden hatred towards females, besides being gay due to ths. Could it be because i'm healing from this trauma.

I'm pretty sure this trauma didn't cause me to be gay, because i've known i was gay pretty much my whole life, even before these events.

any thoughts?

[JordanJP]

Originally Posted by Rlarson21

I'm 34 and a gay male. I've known i was gay since i was a small boy. I'm very much gay and have never even felt a twinge of attraction towards the opposite sex until recently. I've started to find a few girls attractive in ALMOST a sexual sense. I've never been even remotely attracted to a woman before.

One of these women is Kelly Kelly, she's a blonde WWE diva. at work there is this one girl who i'm slightly attracted too, it feels like i'm attracted to her in a playful sense. I kinda like to bug her in a little kid sort of way and she does it back.

I'm still very much gay but why am i having these recent unnatural attractions towards women. Am i turning slightly bi?

I don't know if i could really go through with 'the act' if you don't know what i mean but up until now i never felt anything towards women.

could this have to do with the intense therapy due to childhood trauma that i've been going through over the past year. Much of this trauma has to do females. I've always had a little bit of hidden hatred towards females, besides being gay due to ths. Could it be because i'm healing from this trauma.

I'm pretty sure this trauma didn't cause me to be gay, because i've known i was gay pretty much my whole life, even before these events.

any thoughts?

Yeah, I'll toss in my two cents here. I don't think sexuality is THAT fluid, I mean... if you're 34 you've been gay for a LONG time. People change, that occasionally applies to sexuality as well, but it's not like you're suddenly deciding that you are bisexual or straight. You're probably transitioning somehow (like you mentioned, maybe you're getting over something) and this has caused you to take notice of women in a different manner.

Besides, if you are bi... that just means you get double the chances of finding interesting people to keep in your life. That's not necessarily a bad thing.

[LS Jaun]

We as human beings have all sorts of sexual expressions. There's no set straight only, gay only, bi only forms of sexuality. You are what you are and im sure you can even change!

[STT Resident]

I'd venture to guess that because of the therapy you've been undergoing you're beginning to react normally towards women as in realizing that they're not objects to dislike/hate but real people who you can become friends with. Congratulations!

[Trimac20]

I think most of us who are 'straight' can be emotionally attracted to someone of the same sex to a point where the line between close friendship and romantic partner is blurred. Labels like 'gay' and 'straight' are limiting because they try to define the wholeness of what you are, when in fact the human brain doesn't always operate within these strict boundaries. There are people who identify solely as gay or straight who have crossed to the other side on more than one occasion, so there is a grey area there. Maybe explore where these relationships with females go...if you find you really are attracted to them, good for you, don't feel like you're betraying your brothers in the community by being bi. If not, then at least you tried, and now you can be more sure that you're purely gay.

[nimchimpsky]

Yes. I find men hot sometimes but I don't want to date them or get into serious relationships with them or even have sex with them. As of writing this, I've only dated and had sex with women, so in general I tell people I'm gay. I don't think anyone is really 100% gay or 100% straight. "Gay" and "straight" are useful in summing up your sexuality in one word for the purposes of conversation, but human sexuality can hardly be summed up in one word in general. Most people have the occasional attraction to someone they wouldn't expect to be attracted to.

It could also be that you're healing from trauma. Don't leave out any possibilities but don't force yourself in any one direction either. Just let things happen the way they happen. If you were "gay" as a result of trauma, then you weren't really gay to begin with though. You were either bi or straight and suppressing your desire for females because of the trauma. In any case that is okay and if that is the case, it is okay and natural to feel attracted to women. Just feel however you feel about whoever you feel, and let things happen naturally. Don't go faster than what you're comfortable with, but don't let the trauma totally dictate your present-day life either. Talk it out with your therapist.

In a minority of cases, some people are turned straight or gay as a result of trauma. But as a disclaimer to the anti-gay people who are bound to jump in this thread sooner or later, that doesn't mean that most gay people aren't immutably gay. The number of people who think they are gay only to realize later they aren't as a result of trauma represent a minority of cases and do not reflect the nature of homosexuality in general. It does happen sometimes, though, and if you are one of those people, Rlarson, that's okay. You might also find that once healed, you really are still attracted to men and that you were suppressing your heterosexual side but you are still bisexual. Just remember the most important thing is to accept yourself and to focus on healing, no matter what your sexual orientation is.

[Anneee]

I think as we get older, we get more flexible in general. We're able to see the sexiness in both genders. In fact, I think we begin to see beyond a person's weight or age, and begin to find other, less obvious traits attractive.

I don't think you're becoming less gay. I think your therapy may be allowing you to see the beauty in more of the people around you.

I'm sorry you had a rough time as a child. Congrats on the therapy.

[SouthernBelleInUtah]

Originally Posted by STT Resident

I'd venture to guess that because of the therapy you've been undergoing you're beginning to react normally towards women as in realizing that they're not objects to dislike/hate but real people who you can become friends with. Congratulations!

I think this is probably closest to true. Congratulations on having the courage to do the hard therapy!

Sent from my DROIDX using Tapatalk

[STT Resident]

Originally Posted by js1mom

Oops! Looks like I stumbled into the "14 and Under Fantasy Relationship" thread by accident. My bad, kids- forgive the interruption.

It was the "10 and Under", for goodness' sakes. You are forgiven.

[STT Resident]

Originally Posted by Pimpy

No, I'm pretty sure this is the "Uptight, No Sense of Humor" thread.

Good grief, I hate it when the bronze medal winners get so darned testy. Pull up your knickers, Pimpy, forge onward and upward and (for the last time) get your finger out of your nose.