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Old 10-16-2011, 11:24 AM
 
5 posts, read 6,457 times
Reputation: 20

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I will try to keep this as clean as possible.Bascially, my bedroom life with my husband is boring. I get very little physical pleasure out of it, but I do get some emotional effects. But now I feel a bit used because it's the same old thing, it doesn't last very long, and I feel like he just gets his jollies and goes to sleep.
I used to bring my 'little friend' to bed, but then he got mad and said that I liked it more than him and it was obvious that it was more pleasing to me. Well, duh. That was the only way I could get some release. I didn't think it was fair to leave me hanging every night. But I wanted to make him happy so I stopped and got rid of the thing.After a year, I was tired of having all this tension so I bought a new one.
But I only use it when he is not home. I don't think intimacy is supposed to be this way. Both people are supposed to be happy. I don't like feeling like an object. I would love to get rid of my 'little friend' but I have no idea how I would duplicate that response with my husband. I guess I have no idea what we are doing, but it's not working and he doesn't seem to understand that.
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Old 10-16-2011, 11:28 AM
 
1,168 posts, read 1,240,946 times
Reputation: 912
Com-mu-ni-cate.
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Old 10-16-2011, 11:33 AM
 
Location: Hawaii
2,058 posts, read 3,297,384 times
Reputation: 1576
Um, if he's not trying to make it good for you he shoudn't me mad/jealous that your toy is better. What a loser (in the bedroom). I would straight up tell him "well you aren't even trying to give me any pleasure, so you shouldn't care if i like something better than you." He needs to improve-A LOT. It's not you who needs to change your thinking.
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Old 10-16-2011, 11:34 AM
 
4,947 posts, read 10,784,221 times
Reputation: 8577
Call-m-e.
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Old 10-16-2011, 11:38 AM
 
13,513 posts, read 19,220,845 times
Reputation: 16579
If your husband would quit being so immature and silly, he wouldn't feel threatened by your "little friend",and would instead take controll of said friend and use it to his advantage by giving you extreme pleasure and multiple ########, and THEN having his....Your relationship is sorely lacking in the communication department.....maybe you can help your husband to understand that pleasing you is a great road to pleasing himself.
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Old 10-16-2011, 12:12 PM
 
5 posts, read 6,457 times
Reputation: 20
I have tried to communicate, I just don't understand his point of view. He will apologize for the speed of our encounters, but then he'll just go to sleep. Before I bought the new toy, I presented the idea of getting another one. He just got upset and said 'I hate that thing! I hate that thing! You don't make those noises with me!' So I don't bring it up anymore. I only use it when he is gone. And the other times I just go to bed frustrated.

I could understand if it was this big honking thing, but it's not. It's one of those tiny silver ones. It's like he thinks that straight up 'relations' should be enough, but it's not. He doesn't get the biology of it. The places that 'relations' relate to is not the same places where my little friend goes- thus, no he will not get the same reaction. But that goes in one ear and out of the other.
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Old 10-16-2011, 12:15 PM
 
Location: Hawaii
2,058 posts, read 3,297,384 times
Reputation: 1576
It truly sounds like he doesn't care. He thinks if you aren't getting anything out of it, that's your fault when it isn't. Maybe try a vib ring? He might not go for it and that's not going to solve the problem of him not caring, but it might help a little
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Old 10-16-2011, 12:21 PM
 
Location: The Raider Nation._ Our band kicks brass
1,853 posts, read 9,669,031 times
Reputation: 2341
Keep a rolled up newspaper under your pillow. Just before he is about to finish, smack him on the nose with it. Say in a stern voice, "NO,....... BAD BOY.........., No".


He will eventually learn.
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Old 10-16-2011, 12:24 PM
 
5 posts, read 6,457 times
Reputation: 20
It's just hard to talk about it with him without him taking it personally. I am very careful with my words because I'd never want to upset him, but it's like he thinks I am saying he isn't good enough or something. To him any additional equipment is like I am insulting him and saying I don't love him or something. I saw one of those ring things online and showed it to him. He was totally put off by it and didn't think I should be on that type of website. He is a very sweet guy and I love him dearly, but this is a major issue we have and I don't think it's fair that I have to keep ignoring it so that he is happy. But I don't know what else to say.
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Old 10-16-2011, 12:38 PM
 
Location: Tennessee
16,224 posts, read 25,608,397 times
Reputation: 24104
I am guessing here then that he doesn`t bother to ask you if you had an "O" during your session. If he does, do not lie to him. Tell him the truth.
Have you tried to mix things up? Try diffrent things? What about lingerie?
Sometimes, we have to put the extra effort out, to hit them up side the head, and make them take time to see, that you are NOT getting anything out of it, otherwise, he may be perfectly happy the way things are!
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